Over the weekend, Al Sharpton said Donald Trump should take a cue from Aretha Franklin and show Omarosa some "R-E-S-P-I-C-T". Yup. That's how Al spelled it. 

- Hey for a 63 year old I think Al is still pretty sharp, er...  S-H-I-R-P!


A Catholic Nun stunned baseball fans when she threw a perfect pitch at the start of a Chicago White Sox game. 

- It was her special "Rap-On-Your-Knuckle Ball". 


Archeologists in Egypt have discovered the World's Oldest Cheese. They say it's 3200 years old. 

- It was located on a cardboard container of Nachos at the Cairo 7-Eleven. 


A Brothel in Nevada is offering Tiger Woods 75% off their "services" because they believe having sex is fueling his recent Golf comeback. 

- There's no mention of what specific "services" they're offering to Tiger at a discount.

- Think of it as a 75% off Grope-On. 


Asia Argento, co-founder of the #MeToo movement and victim of Harvey Weinstein secretly paid an actor almost 400 Grand after HE accused HER of sexual assault. 

- Coming soon to social media near you... the #HeToo Movement. 

- Apparently, What was good for the Gander is not good for the Goose. 


More and more people in California's Bay Area are identifying as "Asexual" - a term meaning they aren't sexually attracted to human beings.

- The first documented "Asexual" was Michael Moore's girlfriend.


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!