Over the weekend, Al Sharpton said Donald Trump should take a cue from Aretha Franklin and show Omarosa some "R-E-S-P-I-C-T". Yup. That's how Al spelled it.
- Hey for a 63 year old I think Al is still pretty sharp, er... S-H-I-R-P!
A Catholic Nun stunned baseball fans when she threw a perfect pitch at the start of a Chicago White Sox game.
- It was her special "Rap-On-Your-Knuckle Ball".
Archeologists in Egypt have discovered the World's Oldest Cheese. They say it's 3200 years old.
- It was located on a cardboard container of Nachos at the Cairo 7-Eleven.
A Brothel in Nevada is offering Tiger Woods 75% off their "services" because they believe having sex is fueling his recent Golf comeback.
- There's no mention of what specific "services" they're offering to Tiger at a discount.
- Think of it as a 75% off Grope-On.
Asia Argento, co-founder of the #MeToo movement and victim of Harvey Weinstein secretly paid an actor almost 400 Grand after HE accused HER of sexual assault.
- Coming soon to social media near you... the #HeToo Movement.
- Apparently, What was good for the Gander is not good for the Goose.
More and more people in California's Bay Area are identifying as "Asexual" - a term meaning they aren't sexually attracted to human beings.
- The first documented "Asexual" was Michael Moore's girlfriend.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!