Unknown.jpeg

Roseanne Barr, whose hit sit-com was cancelled by ABC after she tweeted racist comments says the sleeping pill Ambien made her do it. 

- Bill Cosby said, "That's why when I was shooting 'The Cosby Show', I stuck with Quaaludes".

- Remember the good old days when the most offensive thing Roseanne did was grabbing her "covfefe" while "screeching" the National Anthem?

*****

Grosse Pointe Shores has been named the "Richest City" in Michigan with an average household income of 150 grand.  

- All that money and the men still can't afford socks.

*****

The 'world's oldest man' - 114 year old Fredie Blom from Cape Town, South Africa has announced that he's trying to quit smoking. 

- I'm all for a healthy lifestyle, but if you make it to 114... "Smoke 'em if you got 'em".

*****

With talks underway to reschedule his summit with Kim Jong Un, President Trump will hold another summit today:  He's meeting with KIM KARDASHIAN to discuss prison reform. 

- Wow. He may be the first U.S. President in history to have a summit with Lil Kim and Big-Butt-Kim in the span of a month! 

***** 

Two little boys in Denver who opened a lemonade stand to raise money for a child in Indonesia, were forced to close their operation because someone alerted Police that they didn't have a permit. 

- Thus the expression, "When Life Hands You Lemons... Make Sure You Get A Permit Before You Make Lemonade". 

*****

A televangelist based in Louisiana is asking followers to donate $54 Million to buy a private jet - saying that "If Jesus were alive today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey... he'd be flying around the world preaching". 

- This guy should stick to donkey-riding since he's clearly a Jackass.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

 

 

Comment