QUOTE OF THE DAY: Kim Kardashian said that shopping all the time isn't fulfilling anymore and that she'd like to "save someone's life... like once a year". 

- I would say her head is in her you-know-what, but that would require one heckuva big brain to match her one heckuva big butt. 


During a Mass this week, Pope Francis called the Devil "a Loser". 

- I give it five minutes before people on social media start accusing the Pontiff of "Bullying Satan". 


Town & Country magazine apologized to Monica Lewinsky after they UNINVITED her from an event about social change, after Bill Clinton RSVP-ed that he would be attending. 

- Bill said he had no idea she'd been invited saying "I did not have social expectations... with that woman... Monica Lewinsky". 


President Trump was on the tarmac at 2am this morning to shake hands with 3 Americans released from North Korea by Kim Jong Un when they touched down on American soil. 

- It was nice for Trump to have another reason to get up in the middle of the night than just to Tweet.  


Speaking of Trump's hands and Lil Kim... Happy "National Shrimp Day!" 


An Amish man in Ohio was arrested for drunk driving after he blew his horse-drawn-buggy through a stop sign and admitted having downed 10 beers. 

- Horse-drawn-buggy crime is on the rise... that according to a Gallop poll. (Sorry!) 


Police in Asheville, N.C., have arrested a 38-year-old man for running through a Waffle House,  McDonald’s, Buffalo Wild Wings and a Taco Bell... naked . 

- The cops were finally able to nab him when he dropped his Chalupa. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!