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Meghan Markle’s dad says his daughter has “ghosted” him and is asking the Queen of England to intervene. 

- I’m thinking he stands a better shot of getting this worked out with Jerry Springer.

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A survey by Graphic Springs found that 19% of people would prefer Santa Claus to be gender neutral.

- What’s next?? Frosty the Snow-Person??

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A Florida lawyer claims to have uncovered Hugh Hefner’s private sex tapes and plans to use them in a civil case against Bill Cosby. 

- Huh? Does this mean Bill Cosby had Hugh Hefner over for one of his “special drinks”??

- This explains why Cosby’s been using the hashtag #MeHugh in all of his prison correspondence.

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A California woman claims a Southwest Airlines agent forced her to leave her beloved pet fish at the airport last week.

- So instead of flying, the fish just swam to its destination.

- Hard to believe a company that packs you in like Sardines couldn’t make room for a tiny little fish.

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A pet parrot in England used his owners “Alexa” to order a kite, light bulbs, a tea kettle and some ice cream.

- Apparently Polly DIDN’T want a cracker.

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Harvey Weinstein’s name has been taken off of the New Jersey Hospital he founded.

- Big deal! Harvey never needed a Hospital to “play doctor” anyway.

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What does Santa call his toy workshop?

The Elves Oak Mall.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick