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Meryl Streep told an interviewer that she’s “afraid” of President Trump. 

- And you know she’s serious because her voice trembled in three different accents. 

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New research finds that best time to have your morning coffee isn’t first thing… but an hour after you wake up.

- Which begs the question… How are you supposed to stay awake for that first hour without your morning coffee???

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Dealing with nosy relatives over the Holidays can be stressful, and experts say the best way to get through it is by “picking your battles”.

- Or do as my ex brother-in-law Joe always did: pick your nose. 

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Students at Cal State University in California held a “Whiteness Forum” where they claimed the Christian cartoon “Veggie Tales” is racist because the villains are “vegetables of color” 

- This is what happens when you make the Redskin Potatoes the bad guys…excuse me… I mean the Native American Potatoes.

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Ten football players at an Illinois high school were suspended from the team last month after they ran across a field naked with Oreo cookies wedged between their buttocks.

- Talk about a sandwich cookie.

- You don’t wanna know where they put the Nutter Butters.

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New research from the European Heart Journal claims that people who get more than 6 hours of sleep a night are more likely to die early. 

- First it was 8 hours, then 7, now 6. By this time next year, a 20 minute nap should do it.

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What’s Bill Clinton’s favorite part of Christmas? 

- When Dancer, Prancer and Vixen stop by to give him a Santa’s Lap Dance. 

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

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