United Airlines is facing a new PR disaster after a 3 foot rabbit named Simon, one of the world's biggest bunnies, died in the cargo hold during a flight from Heathrow to Chicago's O'Hare. 

- Yes... The Rabbit died on it's way to O "Hare". You can't make this stuff up. 

- So much for carrying a lucky rabbits foot when you travel. Simon had four and look what happened to him. 


Kim Jong-Un's army fired rockets and torpedoes at mock enemy warships during North Korea's 'largest ever' live-fire artillery drills on Tuesday, but President Trump says KJU is not as strong as he thinks he is. 

- Trump was going to Tweet "Your Mother Wore Army Boots"... but it turns out she actually did. 


Bill Cosby's lawyers announced that they'll go with a "False Memory" strategy, which experts say basically amounts to calling all 57 of his sexual assault accusers Liars. 

- Fascinating. They want jurors to believe the women have "False Memories" of not being able to remember anything after Bill drugged 'em. 


Script writers in Hollywood are just days away from going on strike, and with no scripts the only thing we'd have to watch are Reality Shows. 

- No wait... those are scripted too. 


A shocking new longterm study found that people who consume MORE salt than the Recommended Daily Allowance actually have LOWER blood pressure than most people who limit their salt intake. 

- Upon hearing the news, Jimmy Buffet went back to "Looking For His Lost Shaker of Salt". 


Kim Kardashian lashed out at critics who claim all of her photos are air brushed - by posting photos of her un-filtered butt, complete with cellulite, in a skimpy bikini on Instagram. 

- Her skin was so dimpled, a lot of people thought she had posted side by side pics of the Moon.


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!