For the first time in 20 years, tonight the Fox News evening line up will not be anchored by the fired Bill O'Reilly, as Tucker Carlson officially takes over the 8pm slot. His first guest: Caitlyn Jenner. 

- Fox is playing it safe by having a chick on that absolutely no guy would hit on. 


President Trump will talk with the leaders of Japan and China today to discuss how best to handle Kim Jong Un and the North Korean Nuclear threat. 

- I'm guessing they're going to put him in a Time Out and take away his X-Box.  


Earlier today, Trump called Astronaut Peggy Whitson on the International Space Station to congratulate her on breaking the record for the longest American in Space... a whopping 535 days. 

- The record for the most "Spaced Out" American woman is still held by Lindsay Lohan. 


Queen Elizabeth celebrated her 91st Birthday on Friday. 

- She spent the day sitting on the Throne waiting for the Miralax to kick in. 


A study by the Daily Mail found that more and more stressed out teachers are using alcohol and prescription drugs to get through the school day. 

- They don't even have to go to the store... they can get everything they need from their students. 

- So now kids are encouraged to bring "An Apple Martini For The Teacher". 


Guards in England confiscated a Drone that inmates were using to fly drugs and cell phones in over the prison walls. 

- Remember the good old days when prisoners had their girlfriends bake a cake with a knife in it? 


Kim Kardashian is being criticized on social media for selling a candle that portrays her as the Virgin Mary. 

- Say what you will, but it looks great next to the "Madonna as Mother Teresa" candle on my coffee table. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!