Pope Francis celebrated his 81st Birthday by hosting a Pizza Party with children at the Vatican in Rome. 

- He had a coupon for Little Caesars.  

- Insiders say His Holiness ate six slices of Pope-e-roni and Cheese. 


Meryl Streep is leading a team of actresses who will wear black at the Golden Globes to protest sexual harassment. 

- Some will accent their dresses with a #MeToo pin, while Meryl will just speak in 17 different accents. 


Despite common belief, Scientists say that all of Santa's reindeer are FEMALE, not MALE, because Male reindeer shed their antlers before December.

- Santa disagreed, saying he could never find every house in the world in one night if he had to stop for directions all the time. 

- The study also noted that "Prancer" is gay. 


Need a gift for the golfer in your life? A novelty company is offering a mini-putting green that fits around the toilet so the recipient can practice putting while... well, you get the idea. 

- But instead of yelling "FORE"... you yell "TWO"!


Officials at the Centers for Disease Control were given a list of 7 words they're no longer allowed to use, including "diversity," "fetus," "transgender," "vulnerable," "entitlement," "science-based" and "evidence-based."

- George Carlin's sitting somewhere right now goin', "Are you KIDDING me???"


Researchers in Japan claim there's a growing amount of sex between monkeys and deer in the wild. 

- Giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Not tonight Deer, I have a headache". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!