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OJ Simpson reportedly lost more than 100 pounds during his last two years in prison. 

- He says he didn't mean to lose the weight, but claims Mark Furman planted "Nutrisystem Belly Bloat Buster Shakes" in the prison yard. 

- OJ said it was hard to stick to the diet but "If the Pant's Don't Fit, You Must Commit!"

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California is holding it's second "Great ShakeOut" Earthquake Survival Drill today where residents are urged to "drop, cover and hold".

- As opposed to the drill Harvey Weinstein used to conduct by forcing women to "drop, UNcover and hold". 

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Twitter blew up yesterday with rumors that Melania Trump is being replaced by a "Body Double" at public appearances. 

- As opposed to Chris Christie, who appears as a "Double Body" every day. 

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Arby's will be serving deer meat sandwiches this Saturday for one day only. 

- Arby's... "They Have The Bambi!"

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After 18 years and 450 shows, Elton John announced that he's ending his Las Vegas residency in 2018. 

- When asked if he'll be back, the Rocket Man said, "I think it's gonna be a long long time til touchdown brings me round again to Vegas". 

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Northern Michigan University in Marquette is offering a Degree in "Marijuana Studies". 

- Students have been High-Fiving each other ever since the news broke. 

- It's great for kids who want to go on to Grad School and Get their LsD. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick