A European Parliament committee has voted in favor of a proposal granting legal status to robots, categorizing them as “electronic persons”.

- Great... now the robots are going to demand their own bathrooms. 

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The Senate worked into the night last night to pass a budget resolution that will speed up the process of repealing Obamacare. 

- And if you like your Senator who voted for the resolution, you can keep your Senator! 

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Donald Trump not only said the whole Russian Hooker thing was fake, but added that it wasn't even possible since he's a "Germaphobe". 

- Apparently The Donald has no plans to "Make STD's Great Again". 

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Amazon announced that they will create 100,000 new full time jobs in the U.S. by 2018. 

- So you'll be able to go to Amazon to shop for a job and be shipped to your new office for free.  

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Anthony Weiner, who now lives with his Mother, is reportedly begging his wife, former Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, to take him back. 

- Apparently like most Moms, Mother Weiner checks his internet history and reads his texts. 

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A new study found that people who didn't have sex when they were teenagers have a much larger vocabulary than people who did. 

- You can tell who these people are because they constantly use big phrases like "Live Long and Prosper".

The study also found that people who swear a lot a are smarter than people who use less colorful language. 

- Hot Damn! I'm a genius!

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Jim Harbaugh and his wife announced the birth of their 4th child together (his 7th), a little boy named John. 

- The delivery went smoothly, but Jim was fined $500 for yelling at his wife for not pushing hard enough.  

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

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