A European Parliament committee has voted in favor of a proposal granting legal status to robots, categorizing them as “electronic persons”.

- Great... now the robots are going to demand their own bathrooms. 


The Senate worked into the night last night to pass a budget resolution that will speed up the process of repealing Obamacare. 

- And if you like your Senator who voted for the resolution, you can keep your Senator! 


Donald Trump not only said the whole Russian Hooker thing was fake, but added that it wasn't even possible since he's a "Germaphobe". 

- Apparently The Donald has no plans to "Make STD's Great Again". 


Amazon announced that they will create 100,000 new full time jobs in the U.S. by 2018. 

- So you'll be able to go to Amazon to shop for a job and be shipped to your new office for free.  


Anthony Weiner, who now lives with his Mother, is reportedly begging his wife, former Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, to take him back. 

- Apparently like most Moms, Mother Weiner checks his internet history and reads his texts. 


A new study found that people who didn't have sex when they were teenagers have a much larger vocabulary than people who did. 

- You can tell who these people are because they constantly use big phrases like "Live Long and Prosper".

The study also found that people who swear a lot a are smarter than people who use less colorful language. 

- Hot Damn! I'm a genius!


Jim Harbaugh and his wife announced the birth of their 4th child together (his 7th), a little boy named John. 

- The delivery went smoothly, but Jim was fined $500 for yelling at his wife for not pushing hard enough.  


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!