A "Fake News" website now claims they made up the entire story about Donald Trump bringing Hookers to a Russian Hotel Room to "defile" a bed once slept in by the Obamas and then leaked the story to the media and US Intelligence. 

- I miss the good old days when the most shocking "Fake News"s story was that Spaghetti grew on trees. 


President Obama delivered his farewell address to the nation last night, bringing many in the audience, including Joe Biden to tears. 

- Joe was just crying because his last assigned duty as VP is to move all the furniture out of the White House.


A new study found that Worldwide, people who lean Right politically are better looking than those on the Left. 

- Apparently the guys who conducted the study didn't watch the Golden Globes. 

- This explains why Bernie Sanders wasn't voted People's "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2016. 


U2's lead singer Bono announced that the group will delay the release of their new album because "the world is a different place since Trump was elected" and they want to double-check the lyrics of the songs. (Whatever that means) 

- So millions of people will have to wait longer for a free copy of the album they don't want, to be downloaded for free on their iPhones. 


Kim Kardashian's chauffeur has been released by French Police after being arrested for taking part in the robbery of her in Paris last year. 

- It's not that he's innocent... it's just that Kim needed someone to drive her to "Bed, Butt's & Beyond". 


Michael Moore told MSNBC that Americans need to get up off the couch and fight Donald Trump. 

- Of course the only time Michael gets off his couch is when the guy from Domino's rings his doorbell. 


Japanese scientists caught a male monkey having sex with a female deer in the wild, marking the first time ever that two different species have been observed having consensual sex. 

- I thought for sure Madonna's name would appear somewhere in this story.  


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!