A "Fake News" website now claims they made up the entire story about Donald Trump bringing Hookers to a Russian Hotel Room to "defile" a bed once slept in by the Obamas and then leaked the story to the media and US Intelligence. 

- I miss the good old days when the most shocking "Fake News"s story was that Spaghetti grew on trees. 

*****

President Obama delivered his farewell address to the nation last night, bringing many in the audience, including Joe Biden to tears. 

- Joe was just crying because his last assigned duty as VP is to move all the furniture out of the White House.

*****

A new study found that Worldwide, people who lean Right politically are better looking than those on the Left. 

- Apparently the guys who conducted the study didn't watch the Golden Globes. 

- This explains why Bernie Sanders wasn't voted People's "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2016. 

*****

U2's lead singer Bono announced that the group will delay the release of their new album because "the world is a different place since Trump was elected" and they want to double-check the lyrics of the songs. (Whatever that means) 

- So millions of people will have to wait longer for a free copy of the album they don't want, to be downloaded for free on their iPhones. 

***** 

Kim Kardashian's chauffeur has been released by French Police after being arrested for taking part in the robbery of her in Paris last year. 

- It's not that he's innocent... it's just that Kim needed someone to drive her to "Bed, Butt's & Beyond". 

*****

Michael Moore told MSNBC that Americans need to get up off the couch and fight Donald Trump. 

- Of course the only time Michael gets off his couch is when the guy from Domino's rings his doorbell. 

*****

Japanese scientists caught a male monkey having sex with a female deer in the wild, marking the first time ever that two different species have been observed having consensual sex. 

- I thought for sure Madonna's name would appear somewhere in this story.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

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