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74 year old Joe Biden told reporters that he will run for President in 2020 - which, at 78, would make him the oldest person ever to run for the American Presidency. 

- He's already got a campaign slogan... "Hey You Voters... Get Offa My Lawn!"

- If he's successful,  he'll be declared "The Early Bird Winner". 

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Madonna, Billboard Magazine's "Woman of the Year", said she felt like "someone died" when Trump won and that she hasn't gotten a good night's sleep since the election. 

- Then again, she's so busy sleeping around, she hasn't had a good night's sleep since 1983. 

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The price of Viagra and Cialis has quadrupled since 2010, which means those without insurance will have to pay $50 for each pill. 

- Which begs the question... "When The Moment's Right... Will You Have Enough Cash?"

- This has left a lot of men feeling a little blue. 

- BTW... If it takes you more than four hours to read this story, call your doctor immediately. 

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China has lodged a formal complaint with the US Government over Donald Trump's phone call with the President of Taiwan. 

- They're so mad they want to "Take him out" and if anybody knows "Take Out", it's the Chinese. 

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Meanwhile a Chinese Lending Company has been offering loans to young women in exchange for naked selfies... then threatening to send them to their families if they don't pay a 30% interest rate. 

- If they really want to make some dough, they should offer a loan to Anthony Weiner. 

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During a report near the blizzard-striken Dakota pipeline this morning - with a wind chill of 21 below zero - a Fox News Reporter said "Oh S---!" live on the air. 

- That's the Exact Same Thing everyone at CNN and MSNBC said on Election night - but their mics weren't on. 

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A Southwest Airlines flight had to be diverted after a baby was born on the plane mid-flight. 

- Airline execs congratulated the proud mom and dad... then charged the baby for an extra seat. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick