Yesterday, President Obama granted clemency to 231 Federal Prison Inmates... the most ever by a US President in a single day... but Kwame Kilpatrick wasn't one of them. 

- On the bright side, this means Kwame can continue his role in the Prison's "Living Nativity Scene". He plays the Ass standing next to the Ox. 


Donald Trump officially became the President-Elect of the U.S. when he was certified by the Electoral College yesterday. 

- Unlike most guys leaving College, instead of moving into his parent's basement, he's moving into the White House. 


Michelle Obama told Oprah she wouldn't rule out a run for the Presidency. 

- It would mark the first time in U.S. history that a woman has come close to becoming President... correction, it would be the first time a woman who wears Skirts could make it all the way to the Oval Office. 


Speaking of "Skirts"... Bill Clinton says that Donald Trump's only talent is "getting Angry White Men to vote for him".

- I can think of one Angry White Man who didn't vote for Trump... Bill Clinton. 


Scientists claim that humans aren't the only ones who "go gray" due to stress... They say the same thing happens to dogs who lead stressful lives. 

- The Makers of "Just For Men" hair coloring immediately introduced "Just For Shitzu's". 


A U.S. Marshall pulled a gun on a McDonald's employee who was taking too long to bring his Filet-o-Fish. 

- The quick thinking employee escaped injury by kneeing the Marshall in his McNuggets. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!


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