A new Yahoo survey found that 62% of Senior Citizens are satisfied with their sex lives. 

- The other 38% haven't figured out that you're supposed to do more than just sit in bathtubs next to each other in the backyard. 

- Great...now I can't get the image of Larry King in suspenders and boxer shorts out of my mind.


Paul McCartney announced that he will induct Ringo Star into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 

- Call me crazy but shouldn't Ringo have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame years ago?? 

- Yoko Ono is not invited to the ceremony, so all she'll get is a "Photograph". 


Kim Jong Un will visit Moscow to celebrate the 70th Anniversary of the Soviet Union's victory over Nazi Germany. 

- Let's hope he doesn't get any "let's go shirtless" ideas from Vladimir Putin. 


The Secret Service asked Congress for $8 Million to build a replica of the White House where they can train new agents. 

- They say it will be an exact replica with an Oval Office, a West Wing and no lock on the front door. 


Mitt Romney is scheduled to take on Evander Holyfield in a Boxing match to raise money for charity in May. 

- Mitt's invitation to Evander read, "Friend, Countrymen, Lend Me What's Left Of Your Ear."


Kanye West posted naked photos of his wife Kim Kardashian on Twitter. 

- In other Breaking News...the sun came up this morning. 


Prince Harry announced that after ten years of service, he's leaving the British Army. 

- He's going to join the German Army because he likes their uniforms better.


Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow!