NBC sources say that Brian Williams wanted to replace David Letterman when Dave retires from the Late Show, and even contacted Letterman himself, but CBS turned him down. 

- Or as Brian claims, He was "SHOT down". 

- CBS went with someone America can take seriously. Stephen Colbert. 


Time Magazine named a 25-year-old Swedish gamer as the most influential person on the Internet. His YouTube channel, which shows him playing video games, has 35 million followers. 

- So...there are 35 million people who are too lazy to play video games themselves!!!  We are in trouble people. Big trouble!!!


Bill Cosby released a bizarre promotional video in which he talks for ten seconds while wearing pajamas and then the screen goes blank. 

- It's basically like being on a date with him. 


Bruce Jenner says he will continue to date women until his sex-reassignment surgery this summer. 

- This is great news for all you ladies who like a man who wears lipstick and is about to have his manhood cut off. 


With sales continuing to fall, McDonald's announced they will try to attract younger, heath conscious customers by adding Kale to their menu. 

- Michelle Obama is said to be "Lovin' It". 

- So next time you go to the drive thru, don't be surprised if the teen behind the window says "You want kale with that?"

- They're even renaming the "Fillet 'O Fish"... "McKale's Navy". 


A Trio of teenage burglars thought they hit the jackpot when they robbed a Missouri home of cash, jewelry, and what they thought was a box of cocaine. Turns out the box actually contained the home owner's father's ashes. 

- They realized their mistake after they snorted Grandpa and didn't even get a buzz. 


Two California women were arrested after carving their names into the Roman Colosseum and posting a selfie of the event. 

- You can see the pic on Insta-Idiots. 

- Hmmmm... They like destroying ancient treasures and bragging about it on social media... These two are PERFECT for ISIS! 


The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency is looking into collusion allegations against Lance Armstrong. 

- You can read all the details on his Lance's website LiveWrong.com. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!