Today is "National Kiss & Make-Up Day". 

- Let's hope Vladimir Putin wears a shirt, or things between he and Obama could get out of hand. 


California's wine country was rocked by a massive 6.1 Earthquake early Sunday morning. 

- The wine will now be used in Martini's since it's already been "Shaken...not stirred". 


A Florida mom was arrested for giving her daughter Tapeworms so she'd lose weight for a beauty pageant. 

- Apparently that new Jenny Craig "Tapeworm Tortellini" is more popular than I thought. 


A Homeland Security spokesman says Al Qaeda is encouraging jihadists to target Las Vegas. 

- This will give jihadists a chance to hone their romantic "techniques" on hookers so they'll really know how to make those 72 virgins happy. 

- Our government is hoping that David Copperfield can make them disappear before they do any damage. 


A Swedish study say people have a higher probability of dying on payday. 

- Especially if they're held up at gunpoint after leaving the bank. 


Lindsay Lohan is said to be dating a London investment banker. 

- Apparently he's a whiz with Stocks & (sometimes) Blonds. 

- The couple is said to be "over the moon"...either that or Lindsay mooned the paparazzi, I'm not sure. 


Lauren Bacall left $10,000 in her Will for her dog. 

- The dog was so happy he dragged his but across the carpet and then ran around in circles for an hour and a half. 


A cast member on Playboy's "Dating Naked" is suing producers because they failed to blur out her private parts during a recent episode. 

- Right now, thousands of men are calling Netflix to order that episode. 


President Obama is sending three White House officials to the Missouri funeral of Michael Brown. 

- They will be non-essential government personnel including a Congressman, a Senator, and Joe Biden. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!