A study by the University of Virginia found that having a large, formal wedding leads to a happier marriage.
- Try telling that to Jackie Purtan!!!
President Obama vowed to be "relentless" against ISIS jihadists.
- He then had lunch in the grill and bought a new set of clubs.
Elizabeth Arden stock plummeted 28% due to a drop in sales for Justin Bieber's cologne.
- So Elizabeth dropped the Bieber fragrance and will soon launch the "Scent of Charlie Sheen". (It's preferred by 2 out of 2 Hookers).
McDonald's announced plans to sell it's ground coffee for customers to brew at home.
- So now you'll be able to stay at home and ask yourself if you want fries with that.
A survey shows that residents of Tokyo, Japan get less sleep that any other city in the world.
- The survey was conducted by calling people during the middle of the night.
- The results are being disputed by the residents of Ferguson, Missouri.
The Reverend Al Sharpton has announced a protest march against the New York City Police.
- Wow. When does this guy have time to agitate crowds in all those other cities???
- Seems like only yesterday he was upsetting things in Missouri...because he was!
Iceland's Bardarbunda Volcano could disrupt air travel between North America and Europe if it erupts.
- I thought "Bardarbunga" was Bart Simpson's catchphrase. (who borrowed it from Howdy Doody).
Pope Francis announced plans to visit New York City.
- He can't wait to get a hot dog from a street vendor while driving by in his Pope Mobile.
- He'd better not set his hat on the ground or people might mistake it for another sky scraper.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow with a brand new Podcast! (#133).