Pope Francis told Vatican scholars that having a retired Pope could become normal at the Church, leading some to believe that in the future, he may give up the job like his predecessor Pope Benedict. 

- Apparently the Pope is very fond of the 12 Diciples, but he LOVES 18 holes of golf. 

- Francis is extremely popular...if he retires he's gonna leave a really big hat to fill. 

- The extra free time will allow him to enjoy the Early Bird Last Supper at the Vatican Denny's. 

- If he orders the fish, he'll eat for a day. But if someone teaches him how to fish he's set for life. 


The Supreme Court struck down a law that bars executions of inmates with an IQ under 70. 

- So if any of the Kardashians turn violent, they could be hooking up with Old Sparky. 


The Scripps Spelling Bee begins today at a hotel in Maryland. 

- Mey I b the furst two whish the contestaments goode luk! 


A zoo in the Phillippines is offering massages given by Pythons. 

- And you thought your neck muscles felt tight now. 


Madonna used a doctor's note to get out of jury duty in NYC. 

- The doctor's note said if she served, there was a good chance all the men on the jury would end up with a verdict and an STD. 


A Stanford professor says that overpopulation will force humans to turn to cannibalism in the future. 

- So Charlton Heston was right when he said "SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!!"

This story reminds me of an old joke... Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire having a bowl of soup. The one cannibal says to the other, "I have a confession to make. I never really cared for your brother." The other cannibal says, "So just eat the noodles!"


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!