North Korea's new luxury ski resort has officially opened. 

guy on chairlift .jpeg

- It's like a regular ski resort except instead of a "bunny hill" it has a "doggy hill" and you don't ski down it, you eat it. 

- Kim Jong Un even put in a special chair lift for family members that takes them to the top of the mountain and drops them off the other side. 


Jim Caldwell is the Lions new Head Coach. They say he works particularly well with Quarterbacks. Let's hope he works equally as well with Receivers! 


Robert Martinage, the No. 2 official at the U.S. Navy, was forced to resign because of inappropriate conduct towards females in his office. 

- His lawyers claim he was borrowing a page from the Marines and was simply, "Looking For a Few Good Women". 

- Apparently when he said, "All Hands on Deck!" he was referring to a cute Midshipman named Cindy Deck. 


Michelle Obama turns 50 this week and she says she wouldn't rule out Botox or plastic surgery down the road. 

- She's still trying to get on the Obamacare website to find out if facelifts and tummy tucks are covered. 


The Congressional Budget Office says that between 2006 and 2011, Medicaid doled out $172 Million for Penis Pumps. 

- They keep "artificially inflating" the budget to screw the country so I guess this makes sense. 


Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander were seen exiting the New York diner made famous in their hit show Seinfeld. Some say it's a sign of a possible reunion show. 

- Jerry doesn't need the money, but maybe George's bank account is suffering from "shrinkage". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow!