Elton John said he used to be a selfish, tantrum-throwing monster, but being the parent of two young kids has made him a better person. 

- So he’s officially out of the terrible sixty-twos!

- He couldn’t quite bring himself to apologize saying “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”. 

- He’s gotten so nice he’s even gonna let his six year old wear his giant duck costume for Halloween!


The White House continues to make it’s case to Congress that a surgical strike on Syria is necessary. 

- If it happens, the Syrian people will take a double hit: They’ll be bombed… and under Obamacare, they’ll have to pay for the “surgical” part. 


Bill Clinton claimed to be a vegan and was even named PETA’s Person of the Year, but now he’s told AARP magazine that he eats salmon and omelettes once a week. 

- He also admitted oogling Lady Gaga while she was wearing that meat dress. 


Anthony Weiner was caught on video getting into a shouting match with a voter who called him “disgusting” and “a deviant”. 

- News got out when Anthony proudly tweeted the story to all of his female constituents. 


According to the latest polls, Weiner’s support is down to 7 percent. 

- But he insists that on Election Day, “When The Moment Is Right, He’ll Be Ready!” 


For the second year in a row, Forbes listed buxom Modern Family actress Sophia Vergara as far and away the the highest paid actress on TV, with earnings of over $30 million. 

- Proving that it is possible to make a really good living working on the “Boob Tube”. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an all new Podcast (#92)!