After 37 months in the slammer at the so-called “Camp Cupcake”, former Detroit Congresswoman Monica Conyers is back on the streets and working full time at a collision shop here in Detroit. She says she’s very happy. 

- Her actual quote was, “I’m so #!@% *(%@ F—- happy to be out of that *%^# jail!”

- A collision shop is perfect for Monica! She’s really good at fixing things…like city contracts. 


A noticeably heavier O.J. Simpson took the stand yesterday in an effort to get a new trial in his armed robbery and kidnapping conviction in 2008. 

- He denied gaining weight and is publishing a new book called “If I Ate It”. 

- Simpson looked so old, he’s now being referred to as “O.J. Mixed With Metamucil”. 

- With all of the scandals it Washington, O.J. actually came off as believeable. 


A CPR machine brought a man who was clinically dead for 40 minutes back to life. 

- The machine will next be used to try to revive the Obama Administration. 


Ohio University evolutionary researchers say they’ve identified the point at which monkey’s split from apes. 

- It was the day Davy Jones was hired as the Monkees’ lead singer. 


A Florida chiropractor is accused of forcing his employees to engage in Scientology practices such as yelling at ashtrays. 

- The chiropractor was accusing the cigarette butts in the ashtray of being out of alignment…which could could turn out to be the smoking gun. 

- So now we know what Tom Cruise does when he’s not jumping up and down on couches. 


Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple turns 9-years-old this week. 

- She will now be known as “Apple 9.0”


An obsessed fan was charged with trespassing after he allegedly swam to Taylor Swift’s beach house in Rhode Island. 

- Taylor has decided that instead of pressing charges, she’ll date him for a while, break-up with him and then write a hit song about it. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an All New Podcast!