A Gallup Poll revealed that Americans find hemorrhoids more popular than Congress.   


- Are hemorrhoids covered by Obamacare? That is the Burning question!!!

- Congress says they won't take this sitting down...because they can't. They're butts hurt too bad from sitting around doing nothing all day. 


Germany wants an apology from the United States for years of spying on their government.  

- We've been doing it for years, but the Germans were too busy coming up with an improved plan to invade Poland to notice.  


Giant George, the 3' 7" Great Dane verified as the world's tallest dog by Guiness World Records, died last week.  

 - North Korea will pay tribute to Giant George by hosting an all-you-can-eat buffet featuring...Giant George. 


Speaking of tall things... The world's tallest man, 8'3" Suntan Kosen of Turkey, has married a woman 2 1/2 feet shorter than him.  

- They get along on most things, but on others they don't see eye to eye.  


Tori Spelling told People Magazine that she is so broke, she can't afford a vasectomy for her husband.  

- Most Americans wish her Dad, Aaron Spelling, had used some of his fortune to get a vasectomy for HIMSELF!  

- Why not just sell her "previously enjoyed" fake boobs on Craig's list.


Dr. Conrad Murray of Michael Jackson fame, has been released from prison 2 years after being convicted of manslaughter in the King of Pop's death.  

-  Finally! We can all get propofol without having to order it from an illegal online Mexican pharmacy! 

- Prison Guards say Murray walked out of jail, took a deep breath, and starting counting backwards from 100.  


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! And don't forget to check out my latest Podcast (#98) with an encore performance by special guest star Tom Delisle! Just click on the "Podcast" button at the top of this page.