The government is trying to raise airline prices by five dollars  to help pay for TSA security in airports. 

- They ask that you pay the $5 bucks in singles and slip them into the TSA agents waistband as they grope you. 

- Five extra dollars… this means you’re going to have to skip that pack of gum you were planning on buying in the airport gift shop. 

- The program has been dubbed “Grope-A-Dope”.