Obama and Romney are having lunch together today. 

- Romney wouldn’t tell Obama exactly what he wanted for lunch, saying he’ll wait until he gets to the White House. 

- Obama is charging Romney for lunch because he’s in the “Top 1%”.


There were two winners in the $500-plus Million Powerball Lottery drawing. One person in Arizona and one in Missouri will split the big pot. 

- NEWSFLASH: I didn’t win. 


The NFL fined Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh 30 grand for kicking Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub in the groin. 

- Schaub called it a “great settlement package”. 

- Suh also got a speeding ticket this week…but wisely decided against kicking the cop in the groin. 


Richard Williamson, the Apple executive who oversaw development of their screwed up “map software” has been fired. 

- They had a hell of a time finding him to give him his pink slip. 


A new study finds that female porn stars have highter self-esteem than other women. 

- And much bigger breasts. 

- The study also found that the female porn stars had low IQ’s but high STD’s. 


From the “Strange Story Department”… Allegedly Genetic testing has confirmed that the legendary Bigfoot is a human relative. 

- No kidding! He used to be married to my sister! 

- They were lucky enough to get a genetic sample off a pair of size 57 snow boots he tried on at Target.   


During the Soul Train Awards Jamie Foxx gave thanks to the “Lord and Savior” Barack Obama. 

- To show his thanks, after the show, Obama took Foxx out for a last, I mean, late supper.

- Now I understand the meaning of the term “Crazy Like a Foxx”. 


According to Consumer Reports, about one-fifth of the U.S. pork they tested contained a growth hormone. 

- An industry spokesman says they just use the drug to help pigs who have torn hamstrings. 

- Looks like the “Little Piggy who went to market” was picking up more than slop! 


On the Today Show, Willie Nelson told Matt Lauer he hasn’t seen any harmful effects of smoking marijuana. 

- He then thanked Katie Couric for taking the time to interview him. 


On this day in 1922 two archeologists discovered the tomb of King Tut.

- It wasn’t until years later that Steve Martin revealed that Tut had been born in Arizona and moved to Babalonia.


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here with an all new Podcast Friday!  

- Dick