Charlie Sheen is continuing his war on CBS and the creator of “Two And A Half Men”.  In twitchy and rambling appearances Monday on both ABC and NBC, Sheen said he’s hired a top Hollywood lawyer to sue CBS for $320 million for the “mental anguish” he suffered after being canned from his show.  He says he’ll only return if they up his salary to $3 million per episode.  

- Mel Gibson said he’ll do it for $2 mil.    

Meanwhile, it was reported that CBS met with John Stamos of “Full House” fame about taking over for Sheen. 

- Maybe Stamos and Charlie could just switch shows. Stamos would do “Two and A Half Men” and Charlie would do “Full House of Porn Stars”. 

In another twist, Charlies longtime PR rep resigned Monday, saying he cared about Sheen very much but at this point, “I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist”.  Sheen replied by calling him a derogatory name and saying, “He’s not allowed to quit, so you’re fired!”

- The rep is trying to get a job doing PR for someone with a more sedate lifestyle… like Lindsay Lohan.