Yesterday, a federal judge sentenced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to 14 years in prison on 18 corruption charges, including trying to sell Barack Obama’s former Senate seat. Unlike celebs in Hollywood, Blago will have to serve a minimum of 12 years. Apparently the judge was unmoved by Blago’s statement that he was, “Unbelievably sorry.”

- What he actually said was, “I am so BLEEPING unbelievably BLEEPING sorry!”

- Blago’s biggest fear of prison isn’t the other inmates, it’s getting the prison haircut! 

- The thousands of dead people who originally voted him into office are turning over in their graves.