“And Forever May She Wave!”
It’s Flag Day! On this day in 1777, the U.S. Congress authorized the original American flag, with 13 red and white stripes and 13 white stars on a blue field.
- Right after that, they passed a five hundred dollar “Stimulus Bill” to try and get the economy moving.
- Betsy Ross was disappointed… she was hoping they’d pick a design that wasn’t so hard to sew.
- It’s also my daughter Jennifer’s Birthday… I’d tell you how old she is today, but I’m allergic to stun guns.
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The U.S. was flying Old Glory high on Saturday when the U.S. Soccer team stunned Britain (and the world) by coming up with a 1-1 tie in the first round of World Cup Soccer. The tie, considered by many a “victory” for the Americans came when the British Goalie missed an easy block, allowing for the goal.
- The Brits immediately blamed Umpire Jim Joyce for making what they said was “A bad call”.
- Prince Phillips wife, Camilla, was said to be so upset she immediately went to the barn to lay down.
- So the British Soccer team can’t block a goal… and British Petroleum can’t block the oil spill. I think I see a pattern here…
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Also on the calendar…
On this date in 1922, Warren G. Harding became the first president heard on the radio. He was broadcast on WEAR in Baltimore.
- The President gave the weather forecast and then announced that the 10th caller would get backstage passes to the Enrico Caruso concert.
- Hey, his radio career lasted almost a long as mine in Baltimore! Remember, I got fired after five weeks for making fun of then-governor Spiro Agnew and also for being “too wild” for the town. (Imagine mild-mannered me being “too wild” for anything?!?!)
And on this date in 1974, Dr. Henry Heimlich announced the invention of the “Heimlich Maneuver”.
- When the medical community realized how simple it was, some doctors nearly choked on their lunch.
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Sarah Palin has responded to rampant Internet rumors that she had a boob job. Palin issued a statement that she does not have implants and wishes that people would concentrate on things like helping people in the gulf instead of her cleavage…
- Bill Clinton said, “Hey… I can see Sarah Palin’s boobs from my house!”
- Real or not… they’re still not as big as Barney Franks.
- If you want to see the biggest boobs in Politics… just take a look at Congress.
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Stick a Fork In It… That Theme Line’s Done!
Because of slipping sales, the National Pork Board is looking for a replacement for their long-time slogan, “Pork. The Other White Meat”.
- How about these: “Don’t Forget to Get This Little Piggy When You Go to Market!”… “We Will Sell No Swine Before It’s Time”… “All We Are Saying… Is Give Pork a Chance”.
- Come up with the winning slogan and you could end up bringing home the bacon!
- NOTE: Gotta a slogan? Just click on our Facebook page and post it there… or here… by clicking the “comment button” at the top of this page.
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While were on the topic of meat… Sausage king (and singer) Jimmy Dean has passed away at the age of 81.
- In lieu of a funeral, the family will be holding a “Brown & Memorial SERVE-ice”.
- They say Jimmy loved and sold pork… right up until the day it killed him.
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And finally… Elvis Presley’s Graceland estate has signed a deal to market the first Elvis version of Mr. Potato Head. The toy will debut during Elvis Tribute Week in August.
- You are what you eat, and Elvis is now a potato.