Police in Maryland have posted a "Pumpkin Line-Up" pic of stolen Jack-o-Lanterns they recovered from thieves and are asking people to come forward to "Identify" their missing Pumpkins. 

- Huh?

- There hasn't been a pic of something so orange and rotund since the last shot of OJ in prison.

*****

Rosie O'Donnell says that she's not sure she'll "be able to survive" the rest of the Trump Presidency. 

- Relax Rosie. There were a lot of people who didn't think they were going to survive your time on "The View". 

*****

Two actresses have accused former President George H.W. Bush of touching their butts from his wheelchair while telling them his favorite magician is "David Cop-a-Feel". 

-He got the idea from Bill Clinton who used to tell actresses his favorite musical is "Fondler on the Roof". 

*****

Revelations that the Clintons and the DNC paid the Russians to collect dirt on Donald Trump have even some Hillary supporters saying she did exactly what she accused Trump of doing. 

-  Hillary said, "Oops... I guess I forgot to mention all that REALLY happened in my book 'What Happened'". 

*****

New security measures go into effect today for people flying to the United States, including a "brief conversation" with EACH PASSENGER about their luggage and itinerary. 

- And if you can't trust a Terrorist to tell you what's really in his Samsonite, who can you trust? 

*****

79-year-old Kenny Rogers says he's retiring from performing because he "can't do it like he used to anymore". 

- Kenny obviously knows when it's time to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

Turns out in addition to Palaces and Royal Jewels, Queen Elizabeth actually owns a McDonald's restaurant outside of London. 

- Poor Prince Charles. He doesn't even get to be The Burger King. 

*****

An investigation has begun after it was revealed that the Clinton Campaign and the DNC paid for the infamous "Anti-Trump Dossier" during the campaign. 

- I'm beginning to think Hillary and the Democrats don't care for Trump. 

*****

A protester threw a Russian flag at President Trump during his appearance at the Capitol yesterday. 

- It went right over his head since he was taking a knee during the Russian National Anthem. 

*****

Time Magazine has named Google the "Most Influential Website of All Time".

- Obviously they've never clicked on dickpurtan.com!

*****

On this day in 1936 a radio station in Berlin broadcast the first call-in request show, called "You Ask - We Play". 

- A Mr. A. Hitler made the first request: the "Let's Invade Poland Polka!"

*****

RIP Fats Domino who has died at the age of 89. Ain't That A Shame. :(

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Tonight is Game One of the World Series and word is, NONE of the Astros or Dodgers will take a knee during the National Anthem.

- In keeping with tradition, they will however, spit tobacco and scratch their groins. 

*****

Psychic Uri Geller says that he was brought in by the CIA to help with the JFK Assassination investigation and that he has held onto "shocking" info for more than 50 years.

- If he's such a great Psychic, wouldn't he have called the CIA BEFORE the assassination???

***** 

A study by the University of Beirut found that giving marijuana to fish will not reduce their stress levels. 

- Researchers said Pot still gave them the munchies but instead of Doritos they all wanted Goldfish. 

*****

A new report revealed that North Korea has been secretly manufacturing biological weapons. 

- Sounds like Kim Jong Un finally cracked open the "Chemistry Set for Jr. Scientists" that Dennis Rodman gave him for his birthday. 

*****

Hillary Clinton will be at Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor tonight as part of the tour for her Election Memoir "What Happened". There are plenty of tickets still available. 

- When she found out it wasn't sold out, she was like, "What Happened?" 

*****

A Yahoo survey found that 74% of young adults prefer to communicate digitally. 

- They say it's quicker than actually "talking" and is known as "Instagram-ification". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

The President of France broke out laughing when his Black Lab was caught on video peeing on the floor during an official meeting. 

- It could have been worse. It could have been a French Poo-dle. 

- In France, it's known as going "Oui Oui". 

*****

Hillary Clinton swore during a TV interview over the weekend calling President Trump's inauguration "Some weird S---".

- She had planned to swear AT the inauguration... Correction: she had planned to be SWORN IN at the inauguration. 

*****

Justin Timberlake, formerly lead singer of N'Sync, will headline the half-time show at Superbowl LII - his third time appearing at the Big Game. 

- At this rate, the only chance the Lions have of appearing in a Super Bowl is if they become a Boy Band. 

*****

Arby's sold sandwiches stacked with deer meat for one day only on Saturday. 

- They were a buck a piece. 

*****

The World Series is set with the Los Angeles Dodgers taking on the Houston Astros. 

- It's fitting since both cities have been hit hard this year by an event called "Harvey". 

*****

Harvey Weinstein announced that he's leaving Sex Rehab but will continue working with doctors. 

- Translation: He will continue PLAYING Doctor with as many Nurses as he can get his hands on.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

OJ Simpson reportedly lost more than 100 pounds during his last two years in prison. 

- He says he didn't mean to lose the weight, but claims Mark Furman planted "Nutrisystem Belly Bloat Buster Shakes" in the prison yard. 

- OJ said it was hard to stick to the diet but "If the Pant's Don't Fit, You Must Commit!"

*****

California is holding it's second "Great ShakeOut" Earthquake Survival Drill today where residents are urged to "drop, cover and hold".

- As opposed to the drill Harvey Weinstein used to conduct by forcing women to "drop, UNcover and hold". 

*****

Twitter blew up yesterday with rumors that Melania Trump is being replaced by a "Body Double" at public appearances. 

- As opposed to Chris Christie, who appears as a "Double Body" every day. 

*****

Arby's will be serving deer meat sandwiches this Saturday for one day only. 

- Arby's... "They Have The Bambi!"

*****

After 18 years and 450 shows, Elton John announced that he's ending his Las Vegas residency in 2018. 

- When asked if he'll be back, the Rocket Man said, "I think it's gonna be a long long time til touchdown brings me round again to Vegas". 

*****

Northern Michigan University in Marquette is offering a Degree in "Marijuana Studies". 

- Students have been High-Fiving each other ever since the news broke. 

- It's great for kids who want to go on to Grad School and Get their LsD. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

Tim Horton's is now selling a Buffalo Spice Latte that's made with Espresso and Wing Sauce. 

- It's a great way to wash down their Boneless Chicken Donuts. 

*****

The FBI has confirmed that former director James Comey drafted a letter exonerating Hillary Clinton in the email scandal months before dozens of witnesses - including Hillary - had even testified. 

- The technical term for Comey's actions is "Premature Exoneration". 

*****

Party City is under fire for selling a Halloween Costume that represents Prez Trump's Mexican "Border Wall". 

- On the bright side, the costume is FREE! Trump vows that Mexico will pay for it! 

*****

An elementary school in Boston has canceled the annual Halloween Costume Parade because it's "Not inclusive of all students" and "Politically Incorrect".  

- How can a parade, where you get to dress up like ANYBODY, NOT be inclusive??? 

- Why can't they just be honest and admit the teachers are afraid of clowns? 

*****

A thief posing as a bike messenger stole $58,000 from an Apple Store in New York City. 

- When he gets out of the slammer, he's already got a job waiting for him at the "Genius Bar". 

*****

A new study shows that men who exercise more than 7.5 hours a week actually INCREASE their risk of dying from heart disease. 

- If this is true, Michael Moore is gonna live forever. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

The Clinton Foundation announced that they will NOT return the $250,000 contribution they received from disgraced sexual predator Harvey Weinstein claiming the money has already been spent on "good causes". 

- Translation: Bill is a BIG tipper everytime he goes to Hooters. 

*****

Colin Kaepernick is suing all 32 NFL team owners, claiming they have "colluded" to keep him from getting a job because of his National Anthem Protests. 

- Talk about a "Knee Jerk" reaction. 

*****

A study by the Department of Health found that a record 40% of Americans are now obese. 

- So that's the skinny on that. 

*****

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz says he's considering running for President because the country is going through a "Significant Crucible". 

- And nothing can get you through a "Significant Crucible" like an Iced-Half-Caf-Pumpkin-Spice-Latte. 

*****

Harvey Weinstein's wife, who announced that she was leaving last week, has reached out to Anthony Weiner's wife Huma Abedin for help. 

- Meanwhile Harvey "reached out" to grope one of the flight attendants on the plane he took to rehab in Arizona. 

*****

A computer virus is affecting millions of users of the world's most popular porn site, Porn Hub. 

- But unlike the actors in the video, the computers can't be treated with antibiotics. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

The President of Turkmenistan gave Vladimir Putin a puppy for his 65th Birthday. 

- It's an adorable little KGBeagle. 

*****

After his impromtu Anti-Trump rap on the Hip Hop Awards Tuesday night, fans are urging Eminem to run against Kid Rock for the US Senate seat held by Debbie Stabenow.  

- Eminem's campaign slogan would reportedly be "&^$@*&^ Change You Can #$@*&%^ Believe In". 

*****

The Boy Scouts of America announced that they will start allowing girls to join their troops.  

- I'm serious. On my honor! 

- Only a few girls have signed up so far, but the boys are really hoping for S'more. 

*****

When asked if she'd give back the campaign donations she got from disgraced Movie Mogul Harvey Weinstein, Hillary Clinton said she would "donate the money to charity". 

- And just like that "The Clinton Foundation" comes into another boatload of cash. 

*****

Alec Baldwin threw his Big Gulp on the street and tried to get a man to get out of his car and fight him in NYC yesterday after the man's driving apparently annoyed him. 

- I can't wait to see the skit about it on Saturday Night Live!  (Yeah, right!)

*****

Researchers say that most men find "Bromances" - their close friendships with male friends - more emotionally satisfying than the relationships with their wives or girlfriends. 

- But when they fight, the make-up sex is really awkward. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick

In the wake of the sexual harassment scandal, The Weinstein Company is considering a name change after pink-slipping founder Harvey Weinstein. 

- They're going to go with something with less "seedy" like "The Anthony Weiner Company". 

*****

Angelina Jolie and Gweneth Paltrow have joined the growing list of women who claim they received unwanted sexual advances from Hollywood mogul. 

- Who's next? Caitlyn Jenner? 

*****

Meanwhile, as Harvey heads to Europe for "Sex Rehab" his wife of 10 years announced that she's leaving him. 

- Wow. A guy has a few thousand criminal indiscretions and his wife bails on him. 

*****

Linsday Lohan posted a bizarre Instagram video in which, speaking in an Irish accent, she says Harvey Weinstein is "being treated unfairly". 

- I think it's safe to say Linsday is back on the sauce. 

*****

Trump responded to reports that Sec. of State Tillerson called him a "Moron" by suggesting the two of them take an IQ test, adding... "And I can tell you whose gonna win." 

- He then tweeted "I know I is smart cuz my third grade teacher said I wuz. Covfefe!!!"

*****

Ivana Trump, Donald's First wife said in an interview that when her kids were little, the ONLY person she felt comfortable leaving them alone with was... Michael Jackson. 

- I'm thinking maybe Ivana should be the one to take the IQ test. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #222

Welcome to 2...2...Tuesday and Podcast #222! Today daughter #2, Jackie, and I are joined by daughter #3, Jill, around the Purtan Family Dining Room Table for a whirlwind discussion of more topics than I have room to list here. Actually, we covered so much I can't even remember them all, but the ones that I DO remember include two of the current controversies in the news:  Christopher Columbus - Hero or Villain? And the NFL football players taking a knee during the playing of the National Anthem - Right or Wrong? We give our opinions.

Plus... George Washington, Ben Franklin, Y.A. Tittle, not to mention the man who was just fired by the company HE founded, Harvey Weinstein. (How can you NOT talk about an overweight Hollywood bigwig whose strange fetishes included inviting disinterested women to watch him take showers? Pretty kinky, huh?) 

So grab a bar of soap and let Podcast #222 wash all over ya. Unlike Mr. Weinstein, we keep it clean...on an audience that's keen!  

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

Today is the official celebration of Columbus Day... when we honor the man who proved the world wasn't flat, but Queen Isabella was. (Thank you Charlie Weaver) Christopher knew since he spent some time with her on a mattress he got half-off at the "Art Van Columbus Day Sale".

*****

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says that any of his players that don't stand for the National Anthem won't be allowed to play in the game. 

- In a related story, MSU brought Michigan to their knees over the weekend, but it had nothing to do with the Rocket's Red Glare.

*****

Oscar-winning Hollywood Producer Harvey Weinstein has been fired from the company he founded amid mounting allegations of sexual harassment of women... including actress Ashley Judd. 

-  This spells an end to production of his new movie starring Bill Cosby. 

*****

Meryl Streep repeatedly called Weinstein's actions "disgraceful and inexcusable". 

- Weinstein said the comments really hurt, especially the time she delivered them in a "spot-on" Ukranian accent. (So far, no comment from Weinstein's good friend Hillary Clinton, although Bill said he didn't see what all the excitement was about).

*****

Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert ignored the Weinstein story on their respective broadcasts. 

- Apparently, Trump jokes, Trump Liberal Sexual Predator jokes, everytime. 

*****

Kim Jong Un has promoted his 30-year-old sister Kim Yo Jong to a high paying top post in the North Korean Government. 

- Translation: Her execution and funeral will be held sometime next week. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

Melania Trump was lambasted by the anti-Trump social media for wearing Timberland Boots while visiting Hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico. 

- Usually, when there a ruckus over "Boots on the Ground" it involves some sort of Military action. 

*****

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson went on TV yesterday to address claims that he called Prez. Trump a "Moron". He would only say that he wouldn't engage in such "petty nonsense".

- In other words, Yep. He called Trump a Moron.

*****

All 5 living former US Presidents will get together for a Hurricane Relief Concert later this month. 

- Jimmy Carter will talk about all the Habitat for Humanity well-constructed houses he's built ... and Bill Clinton will talk about all the well-Built broads he's bagged. 

*****

The ancient tomb of St. Nicholas (Santa Claus) has been discovered underneath a city in Turkey. 

- Santa was discovered in a fireplace, beneath a chimney where the stockings had been hung with care. 

*****

A couple in Saline are back on the job - side by side - after tying the knot inside the Walmart where they both work. 

- They said the wedding was "perfect" right up until the moment the groom's Uncle got drunk and caused a "Clean up in Aisle 5". 

*****

68-year-old George Foreman has challenged 65-year-old Steven Seagal to a 10 round boxing match. 

- I'm betting Foreman is going to take a Grilling. 

*****

The New England Patriots just bought their very own team plane, a Boeing 767. 

- Just to be safe, they hired a security guy to make sure the plane's tires are never deflated. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

Bob Segar has cancelled his last two concerts this year citing back problems. Meanwhile Eminem announced that his 9th studio album, "Amazeballs", is done. 

- Can Christmas morning get here fast enough??? 

- I haven't been this excited since Three 6 Mafia won the Oscar for "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp"!

*****

Researchers have found that "Gamers" are significantly better learners than those who don't play video games. 

- So buck up parents! If the 35-year-old son living in your basement ever decides to go back to school to get his GED, he's gonna ROCK! 

*****

Tom Cruise's new movie "American Made" was his worst box office opening in over 20 years. 

- It's not the first time Tom has come up short. 

*****

Bruce Springsteen said that he won't write any Anti-Trump songs. 

- It's not that he LIKES Trump, he's just got writer's block. 

*****

The Tennessee Titans have hired a fill-in for their injured quarterback and say they never even considered Colin Kaepernick. 

- Meanwhile, Colin continues taking a knee. Both actually... praying to God that someone will hire him. 

*****

A video has surfaced of Pam Anderson signing autographs in Germany in which she appears disheveled and out of it. 

 - But she looks great if you watch the video in Slow Motion. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

"Star Trek: Discovery" debuted its first openly gay character during Sunday night's episode. 

- His first line was "Live Long, Prosper... and ALWAYS Accessorize!!!"

*****

Hugh Hefner was laid to rest Saturday in an intimate ceremony in a crypt right next to Marilyn Monroe.  

- And just like that, the expression "You Can't Take It With You" goes out the window.  

*****

After serving 9 years for Armed Robbery, OJ Simpson is a free man, released from prison early Sunday. 

- He waved goodbye to the warden, hopped into a waiting Uber and drove off into the Sunset... V...e...r...y  s...l...o...w...l...y. 

- I'm betting the "real killer or killers" are shaking in their boots, knowin' the Juice is finally back out looking for them. 

*****

The Commissioner of the NBA has asked all pro-Basketball players to stand during the National Anthem. 

- It'll be hard to tell if they comply since they're so tall they look like their standing even when they're kneeling. 

*****

It's National "Mean Girls Appreciation Day".

- So if you run into Kathy Griffin, be sure to give her a hug!

*****

RIP... Tom Petty, three-time Grammy-winning frontman for "The Heartbreakers" died Monday from Cardiac Arrest. He amassed a huge amount of hits over his 40+ year career... "Free Falling", "Don't Do Me Like That", "Here Comes My Girl", "Refugee", and "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around" (his duet with real life girlfriend Stevie Nicks) just to name a few. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

Today is the last full day of Summer, and temps in Metro Detroit are expected to reach an amazing 85 degrees. It's not often you get a chance to work on your tan while sipping a Pumpkin Spice Latte! 

*****

12-year-old singing ventriloquist Darci Farmer and her rabbit puppet "Petunia" were crowned the 12th season champs on "America's Got Talent" last night.

- Look for her new book "How to Win Talent Shows For (And With) Dummies".

***** 

During a meeting with African leaders at the UN on Wednesday, President Trump referred to Namibia, a country on the southwestern coast of Africa, as "Nambia."

- Great. How much is it gonna cost to re-embroider all of those "Make Nambia Great Again" baseball caps???

*****

In her new book "What Happened", Hillary Clinton says that there's a "Right Wing war on Truth". 

- Kinda like that whole fake Monica Lewinsky thing was part of a "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy". 

*****

A 5th-grade math teacher in Florida has angered parents after asking students to use gender-neutral pronouns in the classroom - including calling her "Mix Bressack". 

- Remember when the most confusing thing about 5th-grade math was the "new math"? 

*****

Google revealed that the most asked question it receives about sex is "How Do I find The G-Spot?"

- Duh! You just Google it! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!  

-Dick 

45 men who dressed up like Tom Selleck's flowered-shirt-wearing "Magnum P.I." character, were tossed from Saturday's Tiger game for reasons that remain unclear. 

- I don't get it. The Tigers have dressed up like Professional Baseball Players this year, and They're allowed to stay. 

*****

During his speech to the UN y-day, President Trump said that if provoked the U.S. will  "totally destroy" N. Korea and called Lil Kim "Rocket Man".

- He's on an Elton John roll... Look for him to start referring to Sanders and his supporters as "Bernie & The Jerks". 

*****

Madonna is suing to keep a former friend from auctioning a pair of her used underwear from the 1990's. 

- So... Madonna actually WORE underwear in the 90's?? 

*****

New research found that among all bottled beer, the one most likely to cause flatulence and bloating in none other than Budweiser. 

- So ladies, if you see your husband handing your dog a beer and saying "This Bud's for You"... you know why. 

*****

David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach is fighting to keep her $10,000 a month Spousal support 11 years after they divorced, claiming she worked her butt off to help his career during their marriage. 

- What career???

*****

The owner of a Wisconsin Dairy Queen is taking heat on Social Media for an "offensive" poster warning customers that his shop is "Politically Incorrect" because the staff says "Merry Christmas", "God Bless America" and gives free ice cream to Vets. 

- Far leftists are also protesting DQ's "Blizzards" because they claim the name flies in the face of Global Warming. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Toys R Us officially filed for Chapter Eleven late last night. 

- So look for "Bankrupt me Elmo" coming to a store near you. 

*****

It's National "Talk Like a Pirate Day". 

- If you're on a Cruise Ship, don't be surprised if the crew says "Ahoy and Avast" while you're on the Poop Deck.

*****

Anthony 'The Mooch' Scaramucci said that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady skipped a recent White House visit because Brady may have dated Ivanka Trump and his girlfriend, Giselle Bundchen was " jealous". 

- Brady said it's not true, but admits he's deflated by the rumors.

*****

 Famous English Actress 82 year old Dame Judy Dench says she wants to have sex. 

-  This means Larry King is about to have sex with another woman 30 years his junior.

*****

The TSA has adopted a new "Enhanced" pat down - which involves touching airline passenger's "crotch area" 8 times. 

- Sounds like Bill Clinton is about to add a whole lotta miles to his Frequent Flyer card. 

*****

Scientists at the University of Sydney say they've unlocked the secret to "Writer's Block"... listening to happy music. Sad music didn't have the same effect. 

- So I'm immediately changing the song I listen to while I work on this blog from "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" to "Whistle While You Work". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

Welcome to Thursday... and Podcast #121. In the wake of recent events, Jackie and I hunker down at the Purtan Dining Room Table for a "whirlwind" discussion of Hurricanes. I'll tell you about my personal connections to two of the strongest to ever hit Florida: last weekend's Irma, and one you may or not remember, Hurricane Donna in 1960. (Gail and I not only survived, but wait til you hear where we were when it hit). In addition to rain, wind and storm surges, we also sort out the reasons behind Snowflakes - not the ones you have to shovel - the ones who are seeking shelter in "Verbal Safe Zones" on college campuses across the country. Plus... an on-air exchange between a News anchor and a self-described "chunky" reporter that caused a virtual Tornado on Social Media. 

It's all in Podcast #121... "Weather" you choose to listen is up to you! 

Prayers for all those recovering from both Harvey and Irma...

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Kid Rock, who officially opens the LCA tonight with his 7pm concert, took to Facebook to slam critics who plan on protesting the show because he used the Confederate Flag in some of his old music videos. 

- Remember the good old days when all you had to worry about at a concert was breathing the pot-filled air at Pine Knob? Not to mention the long lines for the ladies room. 

*****

Sources say Colin Kaepernick is open to ending his "National Anthem" protest if an NFL team will sign him. 

- Finally, something Colin will stand for... MONEY. 

*****

Amazon and Walmart have already cut the price of Hillary Clinton's new book "What Happened" by 40%... even though it hasn't been released yet. 

- So now Amazon and Walmart are colluding with the Russians?? 

*****

New research found that people who let their dogs sleep in their bedrooms with them get more Zzzzz's than those who don't. 

- Thus the old expression, "Lay down with Dogs... Wake up well rested with Fleas". 

*****

The house that Lizzie Borden lived in after being acquitted of whacking her parents in is up for sale for $850,000.

- The current owner says she expects to get the full ax-ing price. 

*****

Hollywood insiders say that James Bond will get married in his next film. 

- 007 and his Bride will register at "Bed Bath and BeBond."... "James BeBond". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

16 years ago today we woke up to the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers & the Pentagon... we would also learn of the heroism of the people on board a 4th airliner that crashed in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. God Bless America! 

*****

Sunday night's Miss America Pageant turned political when finalists were asked if Confederate statues should be torn down and if Prez Trump colluded with the Russians.

- What happened to the important question about Puffy Clouds??? 

*****

Matthew Stafford and the Lions won their season opener beating Arizona 35-23. 

- Let's all take a moment to savor the chance to say "The Lions have a winning record!" 

*****

The Tigers have converted their Lakeland, Florida training camp into a public shelter for victims of Hurricane Irma. 

- And just like that, the Tigers have more of a Prayer for redemption than Joel Osteen. 

*****

Hillary Clinton says that in an effort to get over her election loss, she took up yoga. 

- And if you've ever tried to do Yoga in a pantsuit you know just how hard she tried. 

- Bill taught her the "Downward Facing Intern" pose. 

*****

Celebrity Chef Anthony Bourdain said that if asked to cater a dinner for Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un, he'd poison both of them. 

- Dennis Rodman was outraged... that Bourdain would try to kill KJU.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick