Happy Groundhog Day! A time to celebrate since Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow this morning - meaning we'll have an early end to winter. 

In Wisconsin, they had to get a new groundhog because the old one bit the mayor last year. 

- The Mayor ended up with an early Spring but six more weeks of rabies. 

We're also celebrating today... because the Iowa Caucuses are finally over! The 3 top winners on the Republican side were Cruz, Trump and Rubio - in that order. On the Democratic side, Clinton and Sanders are 50-50 in a statistical dead heat. 

*****

The real winner is a woman in Nepal who turned 112 years old which she owes to smoking 30 cigarettes a day. 

- She obviously hasn't heard that cigarettes can kill you.  

***** 

Hillary Clinton is putting out a children's book called "Some Girls Are Born To Lead". 

- Meanwhile her husband is putting out a children's book called "Curious Bill Goes To The Moonlight Bunny Ranch". 

*****

The principal of an elementary school is Minnesota has banned celebrations of Christmas, Thanksgiving and Valentines Day so as not to offend students of "diverse backgrounds".

- Finally...someone is taking a stand against the most divisive figure in America... Cupid.  

- Instead of candy hearts reading "Be Mine", the principal will get notes reading "Up Yours". 

*****

A study out of New Zealand found that dogs read faces just like humans do. 

- And then they lick them. 

***** 

The American Crime Story series, "The People vs. O.J. Simpson" premieres tonight on FX. 

- I can't wait to find out how it ends!

*****

Don't Forget!  The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 26th on 760 WJR AM from 6am to 10pm. Gail and I are asking you to help match our $30,000 donation which you can do right now by texting the key word "Purtan" to 41444 on your cell phone. Any amount you donate to this local feeding and sheltering program is appreciated! 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick

FINALLY...  After months of build up, the Iowa Caucuses will officially take place tonight, with the latest polls showing Trump & Cruz neck and neck among GOP voters and Clinton & Sanders neck and neck among Democrats. 

- There hasn't been this much "necking" going on since Bill Clinton was in the Oval Office.

*****

Meteorologists predict that a huge snowstorm set to dump more than a foot of snow on Iowa won't hit until Tuesday morning. 

- Iowans aren't worried about the snowstorm...since they've been dealing with a political snow job for months now. 

*****

"Voting" in Iowa doesn't begin until 7pm so we won't know the results until late tonight. 

- And Bernie Sanders won't know until he wakes up to have his Bran Muffin tomorrow morning. 

*****

A study by the Salk Institute revealed that the capacity of the human brain is 10 times greater than previously thought. 

- Unless you happen to be a Kardashian. 

*****

The Fox television Network wowed audiences last night with a Live 3-Hour production of the Musical "Grease" following NBC's live production of "The Sound of Music" last year. 

-Up next... a live version of "Oh, Calcutta" on the Playboy Channel.

*****

Just a reminder... The 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 26th. Gail and I will match all donations up to $30,000 that are made by texting "41444" on your smart phone and entering the key word "Purtan"! You don't have to wait for the Radiothon...you can donate right now to this vital program that feeds and shelters 5000 people a day! Any donation is welcome! Thank you!

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #185: "Just Around The Corner"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #185. With the 29th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club 16-Hour Radiothon just around the corner, we welcome special guest Dale Johnson to the Purtan Dining Room Table. The big event will take place on Friday, February 26th at the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak and will be broadcast live on WJR 760 am. In this "Preview Podcast" I'll tell you about a new and unique way to give...and also ask a favor of you that would mean a lot to my wife Gail and me! It's something we've never done before...and you can really make a difference! 

Remember, the Bed & Bread Program feeds 4300 Metro Detroit men, women and children every day - 365 days a year and shelters more than 500 people every night. There's no other program like it! 

I'll also reveal which local "celebrity" reminds me of "The Donald", play a cut off one of my "Best Of" CD's, and share a story about the late Hector Sossi and my Dad. Who do you think knows more about Pasta? The owner of the Roma or a Mattress Salesman? 

So Give Podcast #185 a listen... and listen to the unique New Way you can Give to the Radiothon! 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog! 

-Dick

Despite pleas from Bill O'Reilly, Donald Trump says he will not take part in tonight's debate hosted by Fox News because of his on-going feud with moderator Megyn Kelly. 

- So the remaining GOP candidates will be talking about the Elephant that's NOT in the room. 

- If Fox really wants ratings, they should get rid of the other candidates and just make it a debate between The Donald and Megyn. 

*****

Meanwhile Bernie Sanders met with President Obama for an hour yesterday, worrying Hillary Clinton's campaign.

- But Bernie says they didn't talk politics...it was just a Social-ist call. 

*****

Mattel announced that Barbie will now come in three new body types - instead of the traditional stick figure doll - to reflect real women. 

- Now you can choose from "Skinny Barbie", "Curvy Barbie" or "Rosie O'Donnell Barbie". 

*****

A study in the Washington Examiner found that more people are watching porn because it's safer than having sex. 

- Plus, you don't have to buy your computer dinner beforehand. 

- And it doesn't ask you what your thinking about afterward.

*****

Mexican drug lord El Chapo says he can't sleep in prison because the guards leave a light on in his cell all night. 

- I guess he won't be staying at the Motel 6 anytime soon. 

*****

A U.S. expert says that North Korea is just weeks away from launching a rocket into space. 

- So now instead of shooting his relatives, he can send them "Where No Aunts & Uncles Have Gone Before". 

*****

Apple had the most profitable quarter in American business history. 

- If you don't believe me, just look up the story on your iPhone. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with an all new Podcast!

-Dick

In an effort to end decades long rumors that he was dead, actor Abe Vigoda has died at the age of 94. He was best known for his roles as "Fish" on the sitcom "Barney Miller" and as the executed mob guy in "The Godfather".

- So finally...Fish is Sleeping With The Fishes. 

*****

Donald Trump will not participate in tomorrow night's GOP debate hosted by Fox News because Megyn Kelly will be a moderator. He doesn't like her, because in the first debate she asked him about his many comments about women being "fat", and he thinks that was an unfair question. 

- Trump is the classic example of a kid who says if he doesn't get what he wants, "I'm gonna take my ball and go home". 

- Or possibly... The Donald and Megyn are two crazy kids who have a crush on each other. 

*****

A 56 year old man crashed his car on I-75 in Detroit while watching a porn movie on his phone. Police say he was not wearing pants at the time. 

- Hey...maybe the guy was just a big fan of Donald Duck. 

*****

A new survey found that Star Wars has sold $715 million worth of toys since the film came out last month. 

- Star Wars owner Disney issued a statement saying "Luke...You are our cash cow". 

- Great. More stuff cluttering up 30 year old men's apartments in their parents basements. 

*****

Wisconsin police are looking for burglars who made off with $90,000 worth of parmesan cheese. 

- Apparently some people just don't care about their cholesterol. 

*****

The Navy Seal who wrote a book about killing Osama Bin Laden is accused of keeping an unauthorized picture of his corpse. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Photo-Bombing". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

RIP... Hector Sossi, the owner of the Roma Cafe in the Eastern Market has died at the age of 92. I have known Hector since I was a little boy when my Dad would bring me on his sales trips from Buffalo to Detroit. We would stay at the Statler Hotel, eat breakfast at the Adam's Grill and have dinner at the Roma Cafe. 

When Gail and I moved to Detroit in 1965, the first time we went out to dinner, I took her to the Roma and introduced her to Hector. After that the Roma became our favorite Italian restaurant in Detroit and continues to be. I used to mention the Roma on my radio show occasionally and Hector never failed to stop by our table and thank me for the mentions. He also never failed to NOT pick up the check! But that was fine with me...because the food was always so good!

Hector's wife Stella passed away a couple of years ago, she too was in her 90's. (It must have been the terrific meatballs!) 

Our condolences to their daughter Janet who for some years has run the Roma so Hector could spend time in Florida and play his beloved Golf. 

I'll have much more on Hector including a friendly argument he and my dad had over the meaning of "al dente" in my Podcast which will be posted on Friday. 

*****

Kwame Kilpatrick wrote a jailhouse letter saying that when Governor Snyder said he only recently found out about the water crisis in Flint "he is being viciously, aggressively, and deliberately untruthful."

- As they say, It takes one to know one. 

*****

Donald Trump told a crowd that he could shoot somebody and he still wouldn't lose any voters. 

- Especially if he shot Ted Cruz. 

*****

ISIS has se up a dating site for women who want to marry Jihadists. 

- It's called "eDisharmony.com".

- It's great for women looking for a short-term committed relationship. 

*****

A study by Business Week found that some porn writers earn more than porn actors. 

- They have writers???

- I guess The Pen IS Mightier Than The Sword.

*****

Chris Rock is reportedly re-writing his Academy Awards monologue in light of the #OscarsSoWhite scandal. 

- Meanwhile Jada Pinkett Smith says she's boycotting the entire Northeast because #SnowSoWhite.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Gone Ice Fishing... Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #184: "Words That Will Put You In 'Jeopardy' If You're Over 50?"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #184. Today daughter #2, Jackie, and I are joined at the Purtan Dining Room Table by daughter #5, Jessica. (She just happened to stop by to borrow some money - just kidding Jess!) The three of us discuss a list of words and phrases I found that aren't supposed to be used by people over 50 (see if you agree) and I don my Alex Trebek hat to give the girls a "Jeopardy!" quiz. 

We also talk about some astounding song lyrics that will have you taking note the next time you hear your favorite ditty. 

So take "Podcast #184 For $1000" and let us know what you think! And don't forget to put your answer in the form of a question...  (38:14)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick

Kwame To Supreme Kourt!

Kwame Kilpatrick has filed an appeal with the US Supreme Court hoping to get the high court to overturn his conviction.  

- Just when you thought there wasn't any good news! 

- He gave instructions to his lawyers to give oral arguments to the Judges, and if that doesn't work...try to bribe 'em. 

*****

Happy Birthday to my Daughter Julie's boy Brayden... He's the Big 0-4 today! 

*****

Donald Trump says would not rule out giving Sarah Palin a job in his administration. 

- Meanwhile Bernie Sanders says he wouldn't rule out giving Sean Penn a job in His administration. 

*****

A new study shows sleeping late can help prevent diabetes. 

- Mostly because it keeps you from eating Fruit Loops and Prune Juice for breakfast. 

*****

A new study found that nearly 10% of recent college grads in America think Judge Judy is a member of the US Supreme Court. 

- Parents everywhere are paraphrasing Judy's line:  "Don't Pee On My Leg and Tell Me I Just Paid 50 Grand For You To Be An Idiot". 

- If you needed proof that our country is headed in the wrong direction...here ya go.  

*****

The Fiat used by Pope Francis during his visit to Philadelphia is going to be auctioned off. 

- It comes with heated seats and a cigarette lighter just in case a new Pope is elected. 

*****

Mexican prison officials announced that drug kingpin El Chapo is now being guarded by a group of dogs.

- So now instead of building a tunnel, his friends are buying a squeaky toy. 

- Or as El Chapo calls them, "Coke-Canines".

*****

The Mayor of Flint has endorsed Hillary Clinton for President. 

- He used to disagree with her policies...but I guess that's just water under the bridge. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

A new study found that berries and citrus fruits can help cure Erectile Dysfunction. 

- So now, When the Moment's Right...Eat an Orange.

*****

A report by the US Intelligence Committee says Hillary Clinton's email server exposed documents that were even more sensitive than those that are labeled "Top Secret". 

- Ironically, Bill's emails showed a lot of "Tops" that he was trying to keep "Secret". 

*****

Michael Jackson's private collection of drawings are being auctioned off to benefit at-risk kids. 

- Of course there are a lot fewer at-risk kids since Michael isn't around anymore. 

*****

The big news in the publishing world is that Caitlyn Jenner will be releasing a memoir. 

- It's one of those He Said/She Said stories. 

*****

A large stake of the satirical newspaper and website "The Onion" has been sold to the Spanish Language Network, Univision. 

- Then again, the report was published by "The Onion" so you never know. 

*****

Pete Rose will be inducted into the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame. 

- He's the Reds all-time leader in hits, runs, and errors in judgement. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

RIP... Glenn Frey. The co-founder of The Eagles has died at the age of 67. According to his lifelong friend Bob Seger, Glenn was in the hospital since November, was in and out of a coma, and finally succumbed to complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis and pneumonia. 

Frey was both a guitarist and songwriter...helping pen and sing many of The Eagles hits like "Take It Easy", "Lyin' Eyes", "Hotel California", "Desperado", and "Take It To The Limit". 

The band broke up in 1980 - but reunited for a tour last summer. The Eagles sold over 150 Million albums. Frey was a graduate of Royal Oak Dondero High School. 

One of Frey's solo songs, "The Heat Is On" was featured in the "Beverly Hills Cop" movies. So in a way...a very small way???...we starred in a movie together. 

*****

American Pie singer Don McLean was arrested for domestic violence at his home in Maine. 

- Apparently he got ticked off when he drove his Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.

- He's expected to get 30 days in jail...which is exactly how long it takes to listen to "American Pie" one time. 

*****

According to the "Treasury Ministry", ISIS has cut terrorist fighters salaries in half due to "exceptional circumstances". 

- They've also cut the "Retirement Package" meaning instead of 72 Virgins waiting in the afterlife, they only get 30. 

- With the pay cut a lot of terrorists are having to get a second job to afford suicide vests for their kids. 

*****

A town here in Michigan is selling gas for just 78 cents a gallon. 

- That makes it a cheaper and safer alternative to the drinking water. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #183: "Gene Taylor - Part Two"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #183. Today Jackie and I continue our tribute to Gene Taylor - the longtime producer and writer for my morning show - as we mark the 15th Anniversary of his untimely and tragic death. Join us as we play more cuts that Gene wrote and/or performed on including The Ladies of Harley, Johnny Carson and Bill & Hillary Clinton. 

We also include some info on this year's Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon coming up on Friday, Feb. 26th and broadcast on WJR 760AM! 

We hope you'll tune in to the Podcast this weekend... and donate at the end of February! 

See you back here Monday! 

-Dick

Ben Is Big At The Palace

Congrats to Piston Great "Big Ben" Wallace, whose #3 Jersey will be retired and sent to the rafters before Saturday night's game!

-  It'll be the first retirement ceremony at the Palace since the Piston's retired Dennis Rodman's Wedding Dress back in 2011.

*****

Five people won last night's Powerball Jackpot. 

- And bets are everyone of them will use the money to quit their job, take a trip to Disney World and hire security to protect them from friends and relatives.   

*****

With Bernie Sanders polling higher in Iowa, some of Hillary Clinton's aides say they are suffering from "2008 PTSD".

- Meanwhile, Bill's aides claim he's suffering from STD's. 

*****

A study published in the journal Biology Letters suggests that dogs can read human emotions. 

- So can Cats, but THEY don't give a rats patoot how you're feeling. 

*****

A new survey found that 1 in 10 Americans would star in a porn movie for a million bucks. 

- The same survey found that 10 in 10 Kardashians would do it for free... They'd be better off doing a remake of the classic film "Rear Window". 

*****

The cast of "Friends" is reuniting for a 2-hour NBC special that will honor the show's director James Burrows. 

- In other showbiz news... Hollywood is planning a new Buddy movie starring Sean Penn and El Chapo. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

Water, Water Everywhere...And FINALLY a Drop To Drink!

Last night, Governor Snyder activated the National Guard to help hand out safe drinking water to the people in Flint. 

- This has been going on for some time...so it's about time he decided to get the lead out. 

*****

Donald Trump called last night's State of the Union address "really boring, slow & lethargic". 

- He said the exact same thing last week about Jeb Bush. 

*****

After 21 years, the St. Louis Rams are headed back to Los Angeles. 

- That's all well and good, but most likely the Lions still have no chance of going to the Super Bowl anytime soon. 

*****

Police in Ohio sent their thanks to a wanted man who was captured after sending them a selife to replace his mugshot which he said was "terrible".

- The man used a Selfie-Stick to snap the pic which will be replaced by a Selfie-Shank when he gets to prison. 

*****

According to a new report, Bill and Hillary Clinton did not give Donald Trump a gift for his 2005 wedding to wife Melania. 

- Looks like things are about to get nasty on the campaign trail. 

*****

A cologne inspired by Vladimir Putin has become a top seller in Moscow...with creators saying it has a "warm, inviting & unifying" scent... 

- ...With "Invasive & Communist undertones". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

President Obama will give his final State of the Union Address tonight. 

- Bernie Sanders says he won't be tuning in...because but at 74, he'll watch a re-run of "Matlock" and be in bed by 8:30. 

*****

According to a new report, Jeb Bush accidentally let the copyright lapse on his campaign moniker, "Jeb!". 

- In a related story, Bill Clinton forgot to renew the copyright on his moniker, "Hot Chicks!".  

*****

Groundbreaking rocker David Bowie has died at the age of 69. 

- There will be two viewings. One with him dressed as a man, and the other as a woman. 

*****

Mick Jagger's ex - 59 year old Jerry Hall has announced her engagement to 84 year old media mogul Rupert Murdoch. 

- If she thought she couldn't "Get No Satisfaction" from Mick...just wait until her wedding night this time. 

*****

A new App called "I'm Not Sorry" is designed to alert women when they use the word "sorry" in texts and emails - claiming apologizing makes women appear weak. 

- In political circles, it's known as the "HillaryOnBenghazi" App. (Sorry)

*****

Prince William and Kate Middleton's son Prince George attended his first day of Pre-School last week. 

- His teacher said he didn't get any special treatment and when it came time for a Potty Break, George was 3rd in line for the throne.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

$$$$$

No one won Saturday night's Powerball Jackpot...so the drawing on Wednesday will be worth $1.3 BILLION.  

- I don't usually play the Lotto, but with the stock market tanking, I'm in! 

- Jeb Bush's campaign is reportedly buying up tickets in the hopes of financing his campaign. 

*****

A study by Terminix named Detroit as the most bed bug-infested city in the country. 

- We're #1! We're #1!

*****

The Playboy Mansion is up for sale for $200 Million...but there's a catch. The new owner has to let Hugh Hefner live there until he dies. 

- Hef is 89 years old so chances are good he'll be gone by the time the mortgage is approved. 

*****

An audience member jumped on stage during the people's "People's Choice Awards", grabbed the mic and sent a "shout out" to his favorite rapper.

- It was disruptive, but Kanye West still has the greatest award interruption video of all time. 

*****

A new App claims it can decode the crying sounds of babies and determine what issue parents need to address. 

- Critics are skeptical, saying it doesn't pass the smell test. 

*****

A new "Jihadi University" video shows weapons experts training terrorists. 

- A lot of teens are dying to get accepted. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #182: "Remembering Gene Taylor"

Click here to download Podcast

First of all, I want to thank you for the overwhelming response to yesterday's post about Gene Taylor. I know Gene is looking down on us all, straightening his bow tie, and smiling. 

Today we present a special hour-long Tribute Podcast all about our late, great friend with special guest Joe Noune, the "Purtan's Person" who probably knew Gene the longest, aside from myself. Join us as we reminisce, share behind the scenes stories, and play some of Gene's most memorable bits from my radio show. From "The Bagman" to a wrong number that Gene ad-libbed into a comedic classic, it's all here. 

Enjoy. 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you Monday! 

-Dick

It was 15 years ago yesterday that Gene Taylor died while on a hayride with his wife Helen on a cold night in Upper Michigan. He had an asthma attack and his inhaler did not work. As most of you know, Gene was the Producer and Writer on my show, having written some of the funniest routines we ever did. 

I met Gene in 1965 when I was doing the 10pm to 1am show on WKNR Keener 13. One night I mentioned on the air that I was hungry. Soon after there came a knock on the back door of the radio station by a young man holding two coney island hot dogs in his hand. 

That young man was a Senior in High School named Gene Taylor. 

Gene would occasionally come up to the radio station when I took over the Morning Show a couple of weeks later. For about a year, I didn't know Gene was funny! Then one day he presented me with a couple of scripts he had written for some of the characters that were part of my show at the time...and I realized that he was an exceptional talent. 

That began a relationship that lasted off and on for 35 years until his untimely death on that cold winter night at the age of 53. 

Later today, I'll be recording a special Tribute Podcast to Gene, which will be up right here tomorrow. 

May you continue to Rest In Peace my good friend. 

-Dick

Keeping The Women On "The View" From Shooting Their Mouths Off?

President Obama announced Executive Action on Gun Control that would impose stiffer background checks on the mentally unstable. 

- Apparently he doesn't want the ladies on "The View" packing' heat. 

*****

North Korea is claiming that it has successfully detonated it's first Hydrogen Bomb. 

- Sounds like Kim Jong Un has been playing with that 'Lil Scientist Kit he got for Christmas. 

*****

Hillary Clinton told a New Hampshire audience that her New Year's Resolution is to ignore Donald Trump. 

- As opposed to last year's Resolution which was to ignore the whole email thing. 

*****

Military experts believe the new "Jihadi John" featured in the ISIS recruiting videos used to sell bouncy castles for kid's parties. 

- When the head of ISIS heard about this...he immediately blew up all the bouncy castles in Iraq.  

*****

Caitlyn Jenner told Advocate magazine that "there's more to being a woman than hair and make-up" and that she missed a lot. 

- For instance instead of going through menopause, she paused being a man. 

*****

Mike Tyson has announced that he might go Vegan. 

- I'll bet when he finds out the only ears he can bite into are corn, he'll change his mind. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

Winners & Losers

In an interview with the Today Show, the new Miss Universe said Steve Harvey should return to host next year's pageant. 

- Meanwhile Miss Colombia said he should be the new host of "The Biggest Loser". 

*****

The World's 5 Richest People lost a combined total of $8.7 Billion dollars during yesterday's stock  market sell off including Amazon founder Jeff Bezos who's fortune took a $3.7 Billion hit.

- Luckily he just renewed his membership to Amazon Prime! 

*****

Multiple reports say that Bill Cosby's wife Camille is going to turn against her husband "Dr. Huxtable", when he appears in court on sexual assault charges.  

- She always wanted to be married to a doctor, but it turns out he's more of a Pharmacist. 

*****

Madonna's son, Rocco, has reportedly blocked her from viewing his Instagram page. 

- Call me crazy...but shouldn't it be the other way around???

*****

Donald Trump is reportedly spending $2 Million a week on new TV ads leading up to the Iowa primaries. 

- While Jeb Bush is spending $3 Million a week on anti-depressants. 

*****

Anne Hathaway posted a bikini pic that shows her sporting a massive baby bump. They're saying the baby could weigh up to 7 pounds. 

- Throw in Anne's weight and they're tipping the scales at almost 35 pounds!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick