Purtan Podcast #155: "In Elementary School...Why Did I Have To Know All About Those 'Explorer' Guys?"

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Welcome to the first weekend of APRIL and Podcast #155... In this go-around, Jackie and I shower you with a discussion of topics including: 

- When does food REALLY "expire"? And our very different views of what's okay to eat...and when it's okay to eat it. 

- My experiences with food poisoning...including one that landed me in the hospital. 

- The Tigers new season and the quest to give Mike Ilitch a much deserved World Series Ring. 

- The MLB team that Vegas odds-makers think will go all the way this year... REALLY? 

- My love of Wikipedia.

- How I was literally pounded in elementary school about "The Explorers". 

- And on that note... A quiz about those explorers and what they discovered.

So put on your thinking cap...along with your Tiger's cap...and take a swing at Podcast #155.

Have a great weekend - GO SPARTANS! GO TIGERS! - and I'll see you back here on Monday!

-Dick 

Monica To Join Whoopi On Cushion?!

Multiple sources say that Barbara Walters has picked Monica Lewinsky to join the cast of "The View". 

- The show will even have a new opening theme..."Devil With The Blue Dress On". 

- She's no Rosie O'Donnell... Close, but no cigar. 

*****

A study by InfoPlease.Com says that American children will consume 90 Million chocolate bunnies this Easter. 

- The news prompted outrage from PETCA... The People For The Ethical Treatment of Chocolate Animals. 

- When asked how many marshmallow chicks would be consumed, not a Peep was heard. 

*****

A new dating app pairs Colorado pot smokers with other singles who like the drug. 

- It's called I'veGotAJointButINeedAMatch.com. 

*****

Gary Dahl, the man who invented the Pet Rock has died at the age of 78. 

- So now, just like his "invention" he just lays there and doesn't do anything. 

- He was sort of like the Henry Ford of really stupid stuff. 

*****

California doctors say that folk singer Joni Mitchell, who was rushed to the hospital earlier this week, is alert and in good spirits. 

- It's the first time Joni's actually been "alert" since Woodstock. 

- Insider's say Joni claims she died for a moment but was brought back...so she can honestly say she's "Looked At Life From Both Sides Now". 

*****

A Pew poll found that 82% of people use their smartphones primarily for taking photos. 

- In related news, 42% of people use their dumb cameras to try and make calls. 

*****

On this day in 1513 Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon discovered what is now the state of Florida. 

- Ironically, Ponce was looking for the "Fountain of Youth" but he ended up finding the "Land of The Early Bird Dinner". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

Marching Into April...

HEADLINES IN THE NEWS...

Hillary Clinton Stunned That World Still Thinks She's Going To Run For President Asking, "Didn't You Get My Email???"

Brangelina to adopt ISIS and "Put them in a serious Time Out".

Michelle Obama Lobbies Congress To Change Name Of Presidential Music To "Kale To The Chief". 

Bruce Jenner Has Olympic Gold Medals Melted Down; Made Into Earrings. 

Google Announces "Slow-Cooker Schnauzer Recipes" The #1 Search Term In North Korea.

Metro-Detroit Area Potholes To Be Turned Into Multi-Family Condos. 

Vladimir Putin Signs On For Next Season Of DWTS!

*****

And in the REAL News...

Just 25 days after celebrating her 117th Birthday, "The World's Oldest Person", Japan's Misao Okawa, has died. 

- Her great-grandchildren were stunned saying "We honestly didn't see that coming."

*****

Radaronline has confirmed that Bruce Jenner underwent breast implant surgery two weeks ago. He can't lift anything and has to wear a bra 24 hours a day during his recovery. 

- Bruce says he's so grateful to his plastic surgeon that his "Cups runneth over". 

*****

Amazon Prime is expanding it's one hour delivery service to Dallas, Miami and Baltimore. 

- It's for people who just can't wait overnight for that "Star Wars Action Figure" they've had their hearts set on. 

*****

Temperatures in Antarctica have reached 63 degrees fahrenheit. 

- It's so warm, the penguins have taken off their Tuxedo jackets. 

*****

The Rolling Stones announced a two-month U.S. tour that will run through Spring and Summer, including a concert here in July.

- At their ages, it's more like a "Lipi-tour". 

- Mick Jagger is reportedly demanding that his dressing room be stocked with Compression stockings and cases of Ensure.

*****

ABC announced that Ludacris and Chrissy Teigen will co-host the Billboard Music Awards in May.

- I'm going to be excited about this as soon as I find out who "Ludacris" and "Chrissy Teigen" are. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll you back here Thursday!

-Dick

The "Icing" On The Cake For "Mr. Hockey"...

Happy Birthday to the GREAT Gordie Howe! The Red Wing Legend turns 87 today...and after reportedly being near-death just 4 months ago, his son says he is doing well and looking forward to celebrating with his family in Texas. 

On a personal note, as the Captain and Founder of the "Purtan No-Stars" media hockey team back in the 70's, I had many encounters on the ice with Gordie during our weekly practice sessions, which he loved to attend after his first retirement. Since I played Goalie, I can proudly say that I once stopped one of Gordie's many shots on the net. And when you're talking Gordie Howe, one out of a hundred isn't bad! 

Happy 87th Gordie! 

*****

Woke up with snow on the ground at my house this morning. 

- So it's looks like March came in like a lamb, and went out like a Detroit Lion. 

*****

Indiana police say that a man accidentally drove off a bridge because he was following his GPS. 

- Mother's everywhere will now be saying, "Just because your GPS told you to drive off a bridge...would you do it?". 

*****

A new study claims that getting more sleep is the key to weight loss. 

- So I'm guessing Michael Moore is an insomniac. 

- The rule does not apply to people who wake up with orange Cheeto dust all over their fingers. 

*****

A video has gone viral that depicts a sequel to the Lego movie as a horror film. 

- And if you've ever stepped on a Lego in bare feet, you know just how horrifying they can be. 

*****

Hollywood insiders say that HBO's new documentary on Scientology could could topple Tom Cruise from his acting pedestal. 

- Of course at his height, it won't be a very long fall. 

*****

Jamie Foxx is being slammed on Twitter for telling jokes about Bruce Jenner at the iHeart Radio Awards. 

- Hey... It takes a lot of cajones to make fun of a guy who's decided he doesn't want his anymore. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

Spartans To Go FOUR It!!!!!

Congratulations to Tom Izzo and The Spartans for making it to the Final Four after their 76-70 overtime win that toppled the Louisville Cardinals. They'll take on Duke Saturday. Game time: 6:09 pm. GO SPARTANS!!!!!

*****

For the second straight year, President Obama did not make Forbes Magazine's List of "The World's Greatest Leaders". But Taylor Swift did. She came in at #6. 

- If only Obama would have released a song called "We Are Never Ever Ever Going To Help Iran Again". 

- Kanye West threw a fit claiming "Beyonce is the Greatest World Leader of all time!"

*****

Apple CEO Tim Cook was named the World's Greatest Leader for his willingness to admit being gay. 

- And when you're worth $500 Million...that was one gigantic, well-appointed  closet he had to come out of. 

*****

A study by Beverage Digest found that Coca-Cola is the most popular soda pop in the country. 

- The findings we're disputed by one "Dr. P"  who pointed out, "I'm a Pepper, He's a Pepper, She's a Pepper, We're a Pepper..."

- The study also found that "Mountain Dew" is the pop that looks the most like a urine sample. 

*****

The USDA banned a pair of baby llamas from performing in Arizona because their owner doesn't have the proper permits. 

- The animals owner, a Miss Dolly Llama, is protesting the decision. 

*****

Willie Nelson is launching a chain of marijuana stores that will sell his personal line of edible pot. 

- Willie says the new stores represent a High point in his career.

- Matthew McConaughey already has his credit card info on file. 

*****

A jealous South African man poured super glue onto his wife's private parts because he thought she was cheating on him. 

- Sounds like "when the moment's right...she's not gonna be ready". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #154: "Date-ing Websites That Will Live In Infamy!"

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Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #154... Today my regular Podcasting compadre Jackie (Daughter #2) and I are joined by Daughter #3, Jill at the Purtan dining room table. Topics include:

- The "Beautiful People" online dating website.

- The guy from eHarmony.com, Neil Clark Warren, and why listening to him talk makes me crazy. 

- FarmersOnly.com... the site for people who like to muck stalls and are looking' for lookin' for love with something other than sheep.  

- The remarkable things Jackie found out about her ex-husband when she read his online dating profile. (Seriously? He's an expert Scuba Diver???) 

- Our suggestion for the Public Face of elderly people...Larry King.

- Jill's son Matthew's amazing "I'm Afraid of Spider's" story. 

- My most embarrassing moment on the radio. 

- Plus, Bond. James Bond. And what makes the poster for the newest movie uniquely different from all the others. 

So tune in to Podcast #154... I guarantee if will leave you - if not shaken - at least stirred!   (38:46)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog. 

-Dick 

P.S. GO SPARTANS!!!!!

Dover Soulmates???

Membership for the online dating site "Plenty of Fish" has ballooned to 100 million users. 

- It's only 50 million, if you don't count the Married people. 

*****

"50 Shades of Grey" is coming out on DVD and Blu Ray on May 8th.

- Talk about a great Mother's Day gift!

*****

Facebook is launching a new feature called "On This Day" that shares your posts from the same day last year. 

- It's for you Historians out there. 

- Also for the people who want to know if the stuff they posted last year was just as uninteresting as the stuff they put up now. 

*****

The U.S. Army announced that they're charging former POW Bowe Bergdahl with "Desertion". 

- Meanwhile the terrorists we gave to the Taliban to get Bowe back are enjoying all-expense paid vacations at their local Jihadist's "Club Med". 

*****

Burger King stores in Japan are reportedly planning to sell Whopper scented cologne. 

- It's designed to complement their "French Fry Grease" shower gel. 

- This is great news for teenagers who want their parents to think they actually have an after school job. 

*****

A Grosse Pte. Park businessman is being investigated by the FBI for selling human body parts worldwide. 

- His wife became suspicious when after dancing with him, she realized he had two left feet. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

A Birthday Fit For A Queen!

The Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin turns 73 today. 

- So hats off to Aretha. SERIOUSLY... Hats OFF! 

- Just kidding about the hat... I meant no dis-R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 

- At 73, she not only "Says a Little Prayer" but takes Lipitor too. 

*****

H.J. Heinz and Kraft Foods Group are merging in a mega-deal that will form the fifth largest food and beverage firm in the world.

- This is great news for your kids who will now have 57 varieties of Mac and Cheese to choose from! 

- Personally, I can't wait for the new "Macaroni & Ketchup". 

*****

Radaronline is reporting that Bruce Jenner will appear on next fall's season of Dancing With The Stars after completing his transgender surgery to become a woman. 

- What better place to show off his new Cha-Cha's???

*****

A Huffington Post poll found that 13% of Americans have been in an "open" relationship. 

- And a full 2% of them actually told their spouses about it. 

*****

The White House has designated former Facebook engineer David Redcorn as its new Director of Information Technology. 

- So look for a lot more Kale recipes from Michelle Obama showing up in your Facebook newsfeed! 

*****

Telemundo is running a Spanish version of the miniseries "The Bible" starting at 8pm tonight. 

- It's pretty much the same as the original, except at The Last Supper they serve Chimichangas and refried beans. 

*****

Legendary rocker David Crosby accidentally hit a jogger with his car on a California highway. 

- The most amazing part of the story is that police DON'T think drugs or alcohol were involved. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #153: "Spring Has Sprung, The Grass Ain't Riz...But Here Is Where The Podcast Is!"

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Welcome to the first weekend of Spring and Podcast #153! In my latest "Podisode", Jackie (daughter #2) and I welcome special guest Jessica (daughter #5) to the Purtan dining room table. Topics include: 

- The NCAA "Big Dance" & Michigan State.

- "Common Courtesy Day".

- Are parents really responsible for their kids being narcissistic when they grow up? Plus ways to prevent that from happening. 

- Some great songs written by Jimmy Webb.  

- The Schmenge Brothers on SCTV and the new CBC series "Schitt's Creek" with Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara. 

- Great movies like "Best in Show" and "Waiting for Guffman". 

-  Bad songs like "Midnight at the Oasis", "Loving You" and "Surfin' Bird". 

- Free Cone Day at DQ.

- And Starbucks' new campaign to get their baristas to talk to customers about race relations while making their coffee. (You can't make this stuff up!)

So celebrate the change of seasons by "Springing" into Podcast #153!   (33:49)

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick 

"The Old And The Not So Bored!"

A new Yahoo survey found that 62% of Senior Citizens are satisfied with their sex lives. 

- The other 38% haven't figured out that you're supposed to do more than just sit in bathtubs next to each other in the backyard. 

- Great...now I can't get the image of Larry King in suspenders and boxer shorts out of my mind.

*****

Paul McCartney announced that he will induct Ringo Star into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 

- Call me crazy but shouldn't Ringo have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame years ago?? 

- Yoko Ono is not invited to the ceremony, so all she'll get is a "Photograph". 

*****

Kim Jong Un will visit Moscow to celebrate the 70th Anniversary of the Soviet Union's victory over Nazi Germany. 

- Let's hope he doesn't get any "let's go shirtless" ideas from Vladimir Putin. 

*****

The Secret Service asked Congress for $8 Million to build a replica of the White House where they can train new agents. 

- They say it will be an exact replica with an Oval Office, a West Wing and no lock on the front door. 

*****

Mitt Romney is scheduled to take on Evander Holyfield in a Boxing match to raise money for charity in May. 

- Mitt's invitation to Evander read, "Friend, Countrymen, Lend Me What's Left Of Your Ear."

*****

Kanye West posted naked photos of his wife Kim Kardashian on Twitter. 

- In other Breaking News...the sun came up this morning. 

*****

Prince Harry announced that after ten years of service, he's leaving the British Army. 

- He's going to join the German Army because he likes their uniforms better.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick  

"The Donald"..."The President"???

Donald Trump announced this morning that he is forming a Presidential  exploratory committee saying "I am the only one who can make America truly great again." 

- He then went to breakfast and said, "Leggo My Ego". 

- If he ends up running, he won't have a Vice President, he'll have a "White House Apprentice". 

*****

The head of Starbucks is being mocked all over social media after instructing employees to write "RaceTogether" on it's paper cups and talk about race relations with customers while making their coffee. 

- I have a feeling those customers will be "Racing" over to Tim Horton's for their morning cup of joe.  

- The CEO got the idea when he overheard a customer saying he'd like his coffee "Black". 

*****

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles arrived in the US last night for a four day visit, including a dinner with the Obamas. 

- In keeping with tradition, they'll serve Fish 'n Chips for Charlies and Oats for Camilla. 

*****

TMZ reports that Kris Jenner is no longer speaking to Bruce Jenner. 

- Which is odd...usually you get two women on the phone and they can talk forever! 

*****

Kraft has recalled 6.5 million boxes of their Macaroni 'n Cheese because they might contain small fragments of metal. 

- Apparently it was an idea to get more Iron in kids diets that went terribly awry. 

*****

A poll by the University of Michigan found that 67% of parents share parenting tips on social media. 

- And 99% of Grandmothers talk about everything those parents are doing WRONG raising their grandchildren. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

It's St. Patty's Day...And That's No Blarney!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

- Or as the Irish call it: "March Madness Without The Brackets". 

*****

Both Bruce Willis and Demi Moore were on hand to watch their daughter Rumer take the top spot on the 10th Anniversary opening night of Dancing With The Stars. The show debuted in 2005. 

- Interestingly enough, that was the very same year Demi's latest boyfriend was born. 

*****

The man who shot two cops in Ferguson, Missouri told the FBI that he was aiming for someone else in the crowd.

- Apparently he not only has bad aim, but a really bad defense strategy.

*****

An ISIS spokesman said the terrorist group wants to destroy Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, and the White House. 

- These days everybody's got a "Bucket List". 

*****

A Northwestern University study found that teenage boys who smoke marijuana are hurting their long term memory. 

- The study also found that those teenage boys are like...so like...totally...okay with that... dude. 

*****

A Brigham Young University study found that Lonely people die younger. 

- So Taylor Swift is either going to be gone by 30 or live to be 100 depending on how her dating life turns out.  

*****

Heather Mills says that her ex, Paul McCartney, has no choice but to record songs with Kanye West because Paul is "no longer relevant". 

- In a related story, Heather Mills made this comment about her ex Paul McCartney, in order to get in the news, because she is "no longer relevant". 

*****

Elton John is calling for a boycott of Dolce & Gabbana because, although they're gay themselves, the designers made disparaging comments about gay parents. 

- Not to say I'm out of the fashion loop, but I thought Dolce & Gabbana was a morning radio team in Italy. 

*****

Pete Rose has submitted an application to be reinstated to Major League Baseball. 

- No word on how they'll rule, but If I were a bettin' man...

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

"Baby, It's WARM Outside!"

We may be 4 days away from the "official" arrival of Spring... but today's temp is expected to be near 70 degrees! 

- On the downside... "Speedo Season" has officially begun. 

*****

South African doctors have successfully performed the world's first penis transplant on a 21-year-old man. 

- They say the man who donated his "manhood" is a real stand up guy... Well, he USED to be.

- The clinical name for the procedure is "A Reverse Bobbitt". 

*****

A report claims that the Obama administration leaked Hillary Clinton's email scandal story to the press to sabotage her Presidential campaign. 

- The President immediately denied it, claiming he knew nothing about the scandal until he saw it on the news. 

*****

A Nebraska woman was arrested for calling in a bomb threat to Time Warner Cable. 

- She said the soonest she could schedule the bomb to go off was next Thursday, between Noon and 5pm. 

*****

A lawsuit claims that Seattle bus drivers were forced to wear diapers because the city failed to allow them access to public restrooms. 

- On the bright side, they've got the most Depend-able bus system in the country. 

- Why don't they just "go" on the bus like some of the passengers do? 

*****

Pamela Anderson has been granted a restraining order against her ex-husband. 

- She needed the extra protection because if he comes near her, she's only able to run in slow motion. 

*****

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: It's FREE CONE DAY at Dairy Queen! As a celebration of their 75th "Fanniversary" DQ is handing out free small vanilla cones all day today, but there is a catch: The offer is limited to one per customer, per location. 

- I can only imagine how many miles Michael Moore is gonna put on his car today. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

Critics Think Hillary's "Yoga Emails" A Bit Of A Stretch...

Hillary Clinton held a press conference yesterday regarding the email scandal. She admitted to deleting more than 32,000 messages but said they were about personal things like planning Chelsea's wedding and yoga routines. 

- With six daughters, my wife says 32,000 emails about wedding planning seems kind of low. 

- I didn't know Hillary did yoga...I thought she was more into "Pantsuit Pilates". 

*****

A High School in New Mexico has chosen Communism as their prom theme...or "Promunism" as they're calling it. 

- Russian officials announced that Vladimir Putin has been crowned Prom King, having received 120% of the vote. 

*****

Apple CEO Tim Cook says the Apple Watch can send a text, surf the web, and make phone calls. 

- So you can spend upwards of 400 bucks on the new watch, or keep your money and just duct tape your iPhone to your wrist. 

*****

An Ohio State University study found that parents are responsible for their children's narcissism if they constantly tell their kids they're the greatest thing since sliced bread and the kids believe them.  

- If that's true, Kanye West's parents need to be put in a Time Out. 

- Speaking of Kanye, he says he loves his Mom & Dad but that "Beyonce has the greatest parents of all time. 

*****

A Google Ventures Exec says that, in the future, people will live to be 500 years old. 

- On the down side...they'll all look like Larry King does right now. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Laughingstock Wanted To Be Comedian...

NBC sources say that Brian Williams wanted to replace David Letterman when Dave retires from the Late Show, and even contacted Letterman himself, but CBS turned him down. 

- Or as Brian claims, He was "SHOT down". 

- CBS went with someone America can take seriously. Stephen Colbert. 

*****

Time Magazine named a 25-year-old Swedish gamer as the most influential person on the Internet. His YouTube channel, which shows him playing video games, has 35 million followers. 

- So...there are 35 million people who are too lazy to play video games themselves!!!  We are in trouble people. Big trouble!!!

*****

Bill Cosby released a bizarre promotional video in which he talks for ten seconds while wearing pajamas and then the screen goes blank. 

- It's basically like being on a date with him. 

*****

Bruce Jenner says he will continue to date women until his sex-reassignment surgery this summer. 

- This is great news for all you ladies who like a man who wears lipstick and is about to have his manhood cut off. 

*****

With sales continuing to fall, McDonald's announced they will try to attract younger, heath conscious customers by adding Kale to their menu. 

- Michelle Obama is said to be "Lovin' It". 

- So next time you go to the drive thru, don't be surprised if the teen behind the window says "You want kale with that?"

- They're even renaming the "Fillet 'O Fish"... "McKale's Navy". 

*****

A Trio of teenage burglars thought they hit the jackpot when they robbed a Missouri home of cash, jewelry, and what they thought was a box of cocaine. Turns out the box actually contained the home owner's father's ashes. 

- They realized their mistake after they snorted Grandpa and didn't even get a buzz. 

*****

Two California women were arrested after carving their names into the Roman Colosseum and posting a selfie of the event. 

- You can see the pic on Insta-Idiots. 

- Hmmmm... They like destroying ancient treasures and bragging about it on social media... These two are PERFECT for ISIS! 

***** 

The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency is looking into collusion allegations against Lance Armstrong. 

- You can read all the details on his Lance's website LiveWrong.com. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

Barbie Downsizes To "Malibu Dream Condo"...

Barbie turns 56 years old today!

- Mattel is celebrating the big event by releasing a new "Hot Flash & Night Sweats" Barbie. 

- Of course she's already a member of AARPP - the American Association of Retired Plastic People. 

*****

The dating site, BeautifulPeople.com kicked 3000 members off their site for being "ugly", leaving just 100 active members. 

- So now those 3000 people will have to online-date by joining eHitWithAnUglyStick.com.  

*****

ISIS Militant Jihadi John apologized to his family for the trouble he caused them by having his identity revealed. 

- Like most kids, he's not sorry about what he did... he's just sorry his Mom and Dad found out about it. 

- And to think I broke out in a sweat when my parents found out I smoked a cigarette in my high school bathroom. 

*****

A female Russian Porn star is in trouble for having sex at the Egyptian Pyramids. 

- In a related story, officials in Florence, Italy have upped the Security Detail around the Statue of David. 

*****

A second grader in New Orleans worte a letter to Michelle Obama saying that her new lunch rules ruined "Taco Tuesday". 

- The First Lady allegedly wrote back telling him to "get over it" and enjoy "Watercress Wednesday". 

*****

Harrison Ford is being praised for his masterful crash landing. 

- Had he not survived, how much you wanna bet his tombstone would have read: "Look Ma! No Han!" (And he flew Solo too!"

- Insiders say the plane may have been carrying too much weight. That's the last time Harrison takes Jabba the Hut for a joy ride. 

*****

Nigerian terror group Boko Haram has declare their allegiance to ISIS. 

- Who would have thought the musical group who brought us "Whiter Shade of Pale" could turn so violent? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #152: "Everything From Soupy To Nuts"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #152! This time around Jackie and I sit down at the Purtan Dining Room Table (aka "Podcast Central") and cover topics including: 

- The "Purtan's People" reunion at the 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club Radiothon - where we had a great time and raised a GREAT deal of money... a total of $1,397,817 all to feed the hungry here in Metro Detroit. And we reached a milestone of over $31 Million raised in the 28 years of the Radiothon.

- The U of M Frat & Sorority destroying an out of town hotel room to the tune of $500,000. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? 

- Which decade in life do adults change the most dramatically...entering as one person and seemingly leaving as someone completely different? 

- A tribute to Soupy Sales... with one of his best jokes from a visit to my radio show. 

- And two more of my favorite cuts from the Best of Purtan Volume 6. 

So while you're waiting for the weather to warm up... Fire up Podcast #152! (27:24) 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday!

-Dick 

"The Old And The Beautiful"...

The world's oldest living person, Miseo Okawa of Japan, turns 117 years young today! Her birthday celebration was held Wednesday - one day early. 

- You know...Just in case. 

- She said she wanted to spend the day surrounded by kids...so Abe Vigoda and Betty White stopped by. 

- Mrs. Okawa, who was born in 1898 says her life has gone by in "a flash". 

- And it almost ended that way too when the 117 candles on her cake came close to igniting her oxygen tank. 

*****

Presidential hopeful Ben Carson told CNN that being gay is an absolute choice, since many men go into Prison straight and come out gay. 

- Um, I wouldn't say "Gay"...I'd say "Experienced". 

*****

A University of Michigan study found a surge in heart attacks — 25% more compared to any other day — in the first full workday after the "spring-forward" time change. That means NEXT Monday! 

- So ironically, "Springing Forward" will cause some people to clutch their chest and "Fall Back". 

*****

Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus says they will do away with their iconic elephant acts by 2018 due to concerns over their treatment. 

- Apparently it's time for the elephants to "pachyderm" their trunks, and move on. 

- What about Clown Cruelty? I mean 27 guys traveling in one car sounds downright unsafe to me. 

*****

McDonalds announced that they'll stop selling chicken treated with antibiotics. 

- But they will begin offering a special  "Ranch & Penicillin" dipping sauce with their McNuggets. 

*****

A Nigerian woman filed for, and was granted a divorce, after claiming that her husband's manhood was too big. Her husband did not dispute the claim.

- Well duh!!!

*****

Ellen DeGeneres donated $10,000 to the girl whose photo of "the dress" crashed the internet. 

-That's a lot of green! Or pink...depending on who's looking at it. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast!

-Dick

Dogs Have A Ruff Time Remembering Things...

A new study found that dogs can't remember what happened yesterday and they don't plan for tomorrow. 

- You know...like most college students. 

- And Lindsay Lohan. 

- So if your dog has a job, chances are he's not matching the company contributions to his 401 K-nine. 

*****

General David Petraeus faces up to a year in prison after pleading guilty to sharing classified information with his mistress. 

- He didn't leak anything to Mrs. Petraeus, proving the old adage "The wife is always the last to know classified information". 

*****

Bruce Jenner has moved into a new $3.5 million dollar home in Malibu California. 

- He may be a bachelor, but friends say the house already has "a woman's touch". 

- Bruce even put in His and Her bathrooms. He says he'll use both depending on his mood.  

*****

O.J. Simpson claims that prison officials won't let him out of jail for a much needed knee operation and that he's going to end up in a wheelchair. 

- Which would really slow down his tireless search for the "real killer or killers". 

He also says the knee pain prevents him from exercising and that he now weighs 340 pounds. 

- You can read all about the weight gain in his new book "If I Ate It". 

*****

A new biography claims that Eric Clapton slept with Princess Diana after her divorce from Prince Charles. The affair lasted 3 months. 

- Which was just long enough for them to listen to "Layla" all the way through. 

*****

The New York Times reported that Hillary Clinton used her personal email account to conduct business when she was Secretary of State. 

- "But what difference does it make??? That was a long time ago!!!"

- Meanwhile Bill reminded everyone that his personal email address is exprezontheprowl@REALLYhotmail.com. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

1,397,817 Reasons To Thank You...

The 28th Annual Bed & Bread Club Radiothon was a huge success thanks to the amazing generosity of Metro Detroiters like you. $1,397,817 raised over 16 Hours! And it all goes right to the street to feed 5000 men, women and children in our area every day! I can't tell you how appreciative I am and how much I enjoyed hosting the final 3 hours of the event broadcast on 760 WJR! Below are some pics from Friday night...courtesy of my daughter's Jill and Jessica. 

Back behind the mic...

Jackie calculating how we're doing on a $15,000 match from Tim Allen.

Jim "White Fang" Ochs, Rebekka Rhodes & her daughter Jordan, and James "The Walking Man" Robertson. 

"Bowling for Dollars"...

Big Al giving that phone number once again while Dave "Rodney Dangerfield" Zoran and James look on. 

Joe "Coleman Young" Noune, Colonel Turner and my right hand Radiothon man Dale Johnson. 

My family came out to support the Radiothon... In this pic, my son-in-law Mark, my daughter Jill, and my granddaughter, Julia. 

That Total deserves a standing ovation!

The whole gang...

****

And now on with the news...

A Texas man says he got a tattoo of the Internet Dress on his legs because he though it would be funny. 

- The procedure left him black and blue...or gold and white depending who's looking at it. 

*****

Rosie O'Donnell's second wife has officially filed for divorce. 

- If a nice, sweet, easy going girl like Rosie can't keep a wife...who can???

*****

Star Trek fans everywhere are grieving the death of Leonard Nimoy who went "Where no man has gone before". 

- I'm not sure if they're talking about outer space or Rosie O'Donnell.

*****

In related news, President Obama released a statement mourning the loss of his "good friend" Leonard Nimoy. 

- He blamed Nimoy's death on the Bush administration. 

- White House insiders say Obama was a HUGE fan of Nimoy's and expressed "Spock & Awe" when he heard of his passing.  

*****

A shocking new video claims to have captured a naked man climbing out a window of Buckingham Palace. 

- Sounds like Prince Harry decided to pay his Grandma a visit. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday... And thanks again for your generosity! 

-Dick