Critics Think Hillary's "Yoga Emails" A Bit Of A Stretch...

Hillary Clinton held a press conference yesterday regarding the email scandal. She admitted to deleting more than 32,000 messages but said they were about personal things like planning Chelsea's wedding and yoga routines. 

- With six daughters, my wife says 32,000 emails about wedding planning seems kind of low. 

- I didn't know Hillary did yoga...I thought she was more into "Pantsuit Pilates". 

*****

A High School in New Mexico has chosen Communism as their prom theme...or "Promunism" as they're calling it. 

- Russian officials announced that Vladimir Putin has been crowned Prom King, having received 120% of the vote. 

*****

Apple CEO Tim Cook says the Apple Watch can send a text, surf the web, and make phone calls. 

- So you can spend upwards of 400 bucks on the new watch, or keep your money and just duct tape your iPhone to your wrist. 

*****

An Ohio State University study found that parents are responsible for their children's narcissism if they constantly tell their kids they're the greatest thing since sliced bread and the kids believe them.  

- If that's true, Kanye West's parents need to be put in a Time Out. 

- Speaking of Kanye, he says he loves his Mom & Dad but that "Beyonce has the greatest parents of all time. 

*****

A Google Ventures Exec says that, in the future, people will live to be 500 years old. 

- On the down side...they'll all look like Larry King does right now. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Laughingstock Wanted To Be Comedian...

NBC sources say that Brian Williams wanted to replace David Letterman when Dave retires from the Late Show, and even contacted Letterman himself, but CBS turned him down. 

- Or as Brian claims, He was "SHOT down". 

- CBS went with someone America can take seriously. Stephen Colbert. 

*****

Time Magazine named a 25-year-old Swedish gamer as the most influential person on the Internet. His YouTube channel, which shows him playing video games, has 35 million followers. 

- So...there are 35 million people who are too lazy to play video games themselves!!!  We are in trouble people. Big trouble!!!

*****

Bill Cosby released a bizarre promotional video in which he talks for ten seconds while wearing pajamas and then the screen goes blank. 

- It's basically like being on a date with him. 

*****

Bruce Jenner says he will continue to date women until his sex-reassignment surgery this summer. 

- This is great news for all you ladies who like a man who wears lipstick and is about to have his manhood cut off. 

*****

With sales continuing to fall, McDonald's announced they will try to attract younger, heath conscious customers by adding Kale to their menu. 

- Michelle Obama is said to be "Lovin' It". 

- So next time you go to the drive thru, don't be surprised if the teen behind the window says "You want kale with that?"

- They're even renaming the "Fillet 'O Fish"... "McKale's Navy". 

*****

A Trio of teenage burglars thought they hit the jackpot when they robbed a Missouri home of cash, jewelry, and what they thought was a box of cocaine. Turns out the box actually contained the home owner's father's ashes. 

- They realized their mistake after they snorted Grandpa and didn't even get a buzz. 

*****

Two California women were arrested after carving their names into the Roman Colosseum and posting a selfie of the event. 

- You can see the pic on Insta-Idiots. 

- Hmmmm... They like destroying ancient treasures and bragging about it on social media... These two are PERFECT for ISIS! 

***** 

The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency is looking into collusion allegations against Lance Armstrong. 

- You can read all the details on his Lance's website LiveWrong.com. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

 

Barbie Downsizes To "Malibu Dream Condo"...

Barbie turns 56 years old today!

- Mattel is celebrating the big event by releasing a new "Hot Flash & Night Sweats" Barbie. 

- Of course she's already a member of AARPP - the American Association of Retired Plastic People. 

*****

The dating site, BeautifulPeople.com kicked 3000 members off their site for being "ugly", leaving just 100 active members. 

- So now those 3000 people will have to online-date by joining eHitWithAnUglyStick.com.  

*****

ISIS Militant Jihadi John apologized to his family for the trouble he caused them by having his identity revealed. 

- Like most kids, he's not sorry about what he did... he's just sorry his Mom and Dad found out about it. 

- And to think I broke out in a sweat when my parents found out I smoked a cigarette in my high school bathroom. 

*****

A female Russian Porn star is in trouble for having sex at the Egyptian Pyramids. 

- In a related story, officials in Florence, Italy have upped the Security Detail around the Statue of David. 

*****

A second grader in New Orleans worte a letter to Michelle Obama saying that her new lunch rules ruined "Taco Tuesday". 

- The First Lady allegedly wrote back telling him to "get over it" and enjoy "Watercress Wednesday". 

*****

Harrison Ford is being praised for his masterful crash landing. 

- Had he not survived, how much you wanna bet his tombstone would have read: "Look Ma! No Han!" (And he flew Solo too!"

- Insiders say the plane may have been carrying too much weight. That's the last time Harrison takes Jabba the Hut for a joy ride. 

*****

Nigerian terror group Boko Haram has declare their allegiance to ISIS. 

- Who would have thought the musical group who brought us "Whiter Shade of Pale" could turn so violent? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

1 Comment

Purtan Podcast #152: "Everything From Soupy To Nuts"

Click here to download Podcast 

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #152! This time around Jackie and I sit down at the Purtan Dining Room Table (aka "Podcast Central") and cover topics including: 

- The "Purtan's People" reunion at the 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club Radiothon - where we had a great time and raised a GREAT deal of money... a total of $1,397,817 all to feed the hungry here in Metro Detroit. And we reached a milestone of over $31 Million raised in the 28 years of the Radiothon.

- The U of M Frat & Sorority destroying an out of town hotel room to the tune of $500,000. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? 

- Which decade in life do adults change the most dramatically...entering as one person and seemingly leaving as someone completely different? 

- A tribute to Soupy Sales... with one of his best jokes from a visit to my radio show. 

- And two more of my favorite cuts from the Best of Purtan Volume 6. 

So while you're waiting for the weather to warm up... Fire up Podcast #152! (27:24) 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday!

-Dick 


1 Comment

"The Old And The Beautiful"...

The world's oldest living person, Miseo Okawa of Japan, turns 117 years young today! Her birthday celebration was held Wednesday - one day early. 

- You know...Just in case. 

- She said she wanted to spend the day surrounded by kids...so Abe Vigoda and Betty White stopped by. 

- Mrs. Okawa, who was born in 1898 says her life has gone by in "a flash". 

- And it almost ended that way too when the 117 candles on her cake came close to igniting her oxygen tank. 

*****

Presidential hopeful Ben Carson told CNN that being gay is an absolute choice, since many men go into Prison straight and come out gay. 

- Um, I wouldn't say "Gay"...I'd say "Experienced". 

*****

A University of Michigan study found a surge in heart attacks — 25% more compared to any other day — in the first full workday after the "spring-forward" time change. That means NEXT Monday! 

- So ironically, "Springing Forward" will cause some people to clutch their chest and "Fall Back". 

*****

Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus says they will do away with their iconic elephant acts by 2018 due to concerns over their treatment. 

- Apparently it's time for the elephants to "pachyderm" their trunks, and move on. 

- What about Clown Cruelty? I mean 27 guys traveling in one car sounds downright unsafe to me. 

*****

McDonalds announced that they'll stop selling chicken treated with antibiotics. 

- But they will begin offering a special  "Ranch & Penicillin" dipping sauce with their McNuggets. 

*****

A Nigerian woman filed for, and was granted a divorce, after claiming that her husband's manhood was too big. Her husband did not dispute the claim.

- Well duh!!!

*****

Ellen DeGeneres donated $10,000 to the girl whose photo of "the dress" crashed the internet. 

-That's a lot of green! Or pink...depending on who's looking at it. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast!

-Dick

Dogs Have A Ruff Time Remembering Things...

A new study found that dogs can't remember what happened yesterday and they don't plan for tomorrow. 

- You know...like most college students. 

- And Lindsay Lohan. 

- So if your dog has a job, chances are he's not matching the company contributions to his 401 K-nine. 

*****

General David Petraeus faces up to a year in prison after pleading guilty to sharing classified information with his mistress. 

- He didn't leak anything to Mrs. Petraeus, proving the old adage "The wife is always the last to know classified information". 

*****

Bruce Jenner has moved into a new $3.5 million dollar home in Malibu California. 

- He may be a bachelor, but friends say the house already has "a woman's touch". 

- Bruce even put in His and Her bathrooms. He says he'll use both depending on his mood.  

*****

O.J. Simpson claims that prison officials won't let him out of jail for a much needed knee operation and that he's going to end up in a wheelchair. 

- Which would really slow down his tireless search for the "real killer or killers". 

He also says the knee pain prevents him from exercising and that he now weighs 340 pounds. 

- You can read all about the weight gain in his new book "If I Ate It". 

*****

A new biography claims that Eric Clapton slept with Princess Diana after her divorce from Prince Charles. The affair lasted 3 months. 

- Which was just long enough for them to listen to "Layla" all the way through. 

*****

The New York Times reported that Hillary Clinton used her personal email account to conduct business when she was Secretary of State. 

- "But what difference does it make??? That was a long time ago!!!"

- Meanwhile Bill reminded everyone that his personal email address is exprezontheprowl@REALLYhotmail.com. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

1,397,817 Reasons To Thank You...

The 28th Annual Bed & Bread Club Radiothon was a huge success thanks to the amazing generosity of Metro Detroiters like you. $1,397,817 raised over 16 Hours! And it all goes right to the street to feed 5000 men, women and children in our area every day! I can't tell you how appreciative I am and how much I enjoyed hosting the final 3 hours of the event broadcast on 760 WJR! Below are some pics from Friday night...courtesy of my daughter's Jill and Jessica. 

Back behind the mic...

Back behind the mic...

Jackie calculating how we're doing on a $15,000 match from Tim Allen.

Jackie calculating how we're doing on a $15,000 match from Tim Allen.

Jim "White Fang" Ochs, Rebekka Rhodes & her daughter Jordan, and James "The Walking Man" Robertson. 

Jim "White Fang" Ochs, Rebekka Rhodes & her daughter Jordan, and James "The Walking Man" Robertson. 

"Bowling for Dollars"...

"Bowling for Dollars"...

Big Al giving that phone number once again while Dave "Rodney Dangerfield" Zoran and James look on. 

Big Al giving that phone number once again while Dave "Rodney Dangerfield" Zoran and James look on. 

Joe "Coleman Young" Noune, Colonel Turner and my right hand Radiothon man Dale Johnson. 

Joe "Coleman Young" Noune, Colonel Turner and my right hand Radiothon man Dale Johnson. 

My family came out to support the Radiothon... In this pic, my son-in-law Mark, my daughter Jill, and my granddaughter, Julia. 

My family came out to support the Radiothon... In this pic, my son-in-law Mark, my daughter Jill, and my granddaughter, Julia. 

That Total deserves a standing ovation!

That Total deserves a standing ovation!

The whole gang...

The whole gang...

****

And now on with the news...

A Texas man says he got a tattoo of the Internet Dress on his legs because he though it would be funny. 

- The procedure left him black and blue...or gold and white depending who's looking at it. 

*****

Rosie O'Donnell's second wife has officially filed for divorce. 

- If a nice, sweet, easy going girl like Rosie can't keep a wife...who can???

*****

Star Trek fans everywhere are grieving the death of Leonard Nimoy who went "Where no man has gone before". 

- I'm not sure if they're talking about outer space or Rosie O'Donnell.

*****

In related news, President Obama released a statement mourning the loss of his "good friend" Leonard Nimoy. 

- He blamed Nimoy's death on the Bush administration. 

- White House insiders say Obama was a HUGE fan of Nimoy's and expressed "Spock & Awe" when he heard of his passing.  

*****

A shocking new video claims to have captured a naked man climbing out a window of Buckingham Palace. 

- Sounds like Prince Harry decided to pay his Grandma a visit. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday... And thanks again for your generosity! 

-Dick 

1 Comment

It's D-Day... "Donation Day" to the Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon!

It’s finally here… As I write this the 28th Annual Salvation Army 16 Hour Radiothon benefiting the Bed and Bread Club is underway live at Emagine Theater in Royal Oak and being broadcast live on 760 AM WJR. 

This is THE major fundraiser for this amazing program that feeds 5000 men, women, and children right here in Metro Detroit every day - 365 days a year - and shelters more than 600 people a night.  

A donation of $10 a month ($120 a year) FEEDS ONE  PERSON FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR; $20 a month ($240 a year) FEEDS TWO PEOPLE FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR.  If you are able to donate $240 - you’ll receive a special commemorative gift as a reminder of your kindness and generosity. But whatever amount you can afford to give is welcome and appreciated!

Through the years, this Radiothon has become the single biggest one-day Radiothon in the country raising more money in just 16 hours than any other event of it’s kind.  

And I am thrilled that Jackie, Big Al & I will be back behind the mics to host the final 3 hours…from 7pm to 10pm…along with other “Purtan’s People” and some of my favorite characters from my radio show. And we'll have plenty of special guests on hand including Tim Allen and “The Walking Man” James Robertson, and a tribute to Soupy Sales from his dog White Fang. 

There are thousands of people in our community who count on The Bed & Bread Program - funded exclusively by your donations - to survive.  For many it is the difference between eating or going hungry;  Sleeping in a freezing cold abandoned building or in a warm Salvation Army Shelter.  In reality, for so many men, women and children, it’s the difference between life and death. And with the snow and sub-zero temperatures we've endured this year, I can honestly say that the need has never been greater. 

I thank you so much for your support and contributions over the years and hope that - like me - today you’ll be donating by calling 248-528-0760 or going to salmich.org. 

Have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday!

-Dick 

Don't forget to tune in to 760 AM WJR to listen to the broadcast, watch live streaming of the entire event @ wjr.com, or join us in person at the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak.  But most importantly...DONATE!

Again...Thank you and please share this with your friend and family... The more people who know about the Bed & Bread Club...the more people we can help! 

1 Comment

TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY!!!

The 28th Annual 16 Hour Radiothon benefiting the Salvation Army's Bed & Bread Club is almost here! 24 hours from right now, the Radiothon will be in full swing...raising funds for this incredible program that feeds 5000 men, women and children in Metro Detroit everyday, 365 days a year, and shelters more than 600 people a night. A donation of $10 a month ($120 a year) feeds ONE PERSON FOR ONE ENTIRE YEAR. And if you can double it...$20 a month ($240 for the year) you will feed TWO PEOPLE FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR (and gets you a very special gift). There is no other program like it.

It all takes place tomorrow, Friday, Feb 27, at the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak from 6am to 10pm and will be broadcast live on 760 AM WJR and streamed live @wjr.com! And I'm thrilled that I will be hosting the 7pm to 10pm slot along with Jackie, Big Al and many other "Purtan's People" and characters from my radio show. Plus...we'll have some very special guests including Tim Allen and "The Walking Man", James Robertson. We'd love to have you join us in person for the broadcast...(There are plenty of seats!) just head on over to the Emagine Theater on Eleven Mile one block east of Main Street in Royal Oak. Whether you tune in or drop by, the most important thing is that you donate...what ever amount you can.  

I can't tell you how vital the Bed & Bread Club is to the very survival of so many people in our own area. I was out on one of the trucks last week and saw first hand once again, not only immense gratitude for the warm meals it provided, but for the HOPE it offered to those who are lost and down on their luck.

We started this Radiothon back in 1987...and were elated when we raised a grand total of $15,000. Now, 28 years later, we are poised to reach the $30 Million mark in total donations made over the years. And that's all because of the incredible generosity of people like you. 

I promise you that your donation...whatever you can afford...will truly change lives for the better. You can even make your donation NOW by calling 248-528-0760 or going to salmich.org.  

Thank you so much for your support!

And I'd really appreciate it if you would share today's post with your friends, coworkers and contacts. The more we spread the word...the more people we can help! 

-Dick

Curtains For Gaga?

Lady Gaga says it took 6 months of rehearsal to prepare for her highly praised medley of songs from "The Sound of Music" at Sunday night's Oscars. 

- She was supposed to perform with 7 kids dressed in window treatments, but producers said they sounded like Von Crapp. 

*****

Ratings for NBC Nightly News were up by 7% in the first full week without Brian Williams. 

- Apparently viewers are willing to give a shot to anyone who doesn't claim they've been shot at. 

*****

Sources say that NJ Governor Chris Christie may film a TV show about his quest for the White House. 

- I'm guess it will appear on The Food Network. 

- Possible titles for the show include: "The Walking Well Fed" and "Game of Scones".

*****

New reports say ISIS is posting pancake recipes online to target new recruits. 

- They're hoping to convince people who have been waffling on whether or not to join. 

- The pancakes are part of the "Rootie Tootie Fresh & Jihadie" breakfast they serve at their training camps. 

*****

A 29-year-old Swedish Cat has been named the "Oldest Cat in the World". 

- If you want to see a pic of her - or any of the other bazillion cats on the planet - just go to Facebook. 

*****

DON'T FORGET! The 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is THIS Friday, Feb. 27! All 16 hours of this hugely important event will be broadcast live from the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak from 6am to 10pm on 760 WJR. The Bed & Bread Program feeds more than 5000 men, women and children in Metro Detroit everyday - 365 days a year. A donation of just $10 a month ($120/yr) will feed one person for AN ENTIRE YEAR! If you can afford $20 a month ($240/yr) you will guarantee that two people do not go hungry for an ENTIRE YEAR! No matter what you can afford is appreciated!

Yours Truly will be behind the mic for the final three hours of the Radiothon - from 7pm to 10pm - along with some of "Purtan's People" from my radio show and some very special guests, including Tim Allen and James "The Walking Man" Robertson. I hope you'll stop by the broadcast, but more importantly, I hope you will donate to this vital cause! And you can do that by calling 248-528-0760 or go to salmich.org. And please...share this info with your friends and contacts! 

Thanks in advance for your support of a cause very near and dear to my heart. 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick 


"And The Oscar Meyer Weiner Goes To..."

We're not the only ones freezing... Temperatures are expected to reach record-breaking lows all around the country today.

- It feels like this winter will never end... Kind of like the Oscars last night. 

*****

Speaking of the Oscars... there were some memorable moments including Lady Gaga singing a medley from "The Sound of Music" while wearing a poofy floor length gown, and host Neil Patrick Harris parading on stage in nothing but his tighty whities. 

- Usually it's the other way around. 

*****

Three teenage girls who were straight A students have left the UK to join ISIS.

- Proving once again that just because you're "Book Smart" doesn't mean you're not an idiot.  

- They promised to bring some ISIS guys home in time for the "Daddy-Daughter-Terrorist Dance". 

*****

A Cornish village is being asked to rename it's seaside hiking trail which is named "Hitler's Walk". 

- From now on, it will be known as "Mussolini's March". 

*****

A computer glitch caused a Colorado movie theater to show 50 Shades of Grey to an audience there to see SpongeBob. 

- The older kids said it was WAY better than the Sex Education video they saw at school. 

- Should be interesting when the kids' teachers ask them if they did anything special this weekend. 

*****

Two prize Poodles went missing for four hours at JFK International Airport. 

- They were found by a Golden Retriever. 

*****

IMPORTANT REMINDER...

The 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is THIS FRIDAY, February 27, and will be broadcast live from the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak from 6am to 10pm on 760 WJR. I will be manning the 7pm to 10pm slot - along with Jackie, Big Al, Tim Allen, Kathleen Madigan, Thom Sharp and "The Walking Man" James Robertson! The Bed & Bread Program feeds more than 5000 men, women and children every day - 365 days a year - and shelters more than 600 people a night. A donation of just $10 a month ($120/yr) feeds one person for AN ENTIRE YEAR. $20 a month ($240/yr) feeds two people for AN ENTIRE YEAR. And for many...the hot meal served off the Bed & Bread truck is the only food they'll get that day. I urge you to contribute whatever you can to this all important program! You can even donate now by calling 248-528-0760 or go to wjr.com. I hope you'll tune in on 760 WJR and make a donation. The Bed & Bread program truly is the gift that keeps on giving...365 days a year. 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

2 Comments

Purtan Podcast #151: "One Week and Counting 'Til The Radiothon..."

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #151... We cover a lot of topics this week... but first and foremost, next Friday, February 27,  we are going to have a "Purtan's People" reunion at the 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon - broadcast on 760 WJR. And for the first time the 16-Hour event will be held at the Emagine Theater in Royal Oak - on Eleven Mile one block East of Main Street.  It runs from 6am to 10pm...with Yours Truly, along with Jackie, Big Al, Rebecca Rhodes, Joe Noune, Jim Ochs and other members of my radio show taking the evening shift... 7pm to 10pm.

In this week's podcast we'll reveal the full line-up of hosts and guests...from Paul W. Smith, Frank Beckman & Mitch Albom to Ronald Reagan, Coleman Young, and Vladimir Putin! 

It's especially fitting that as we face a winter of record breaking low temperatures and wind chills, we come together to raise money for this incredibly vital program that feeds more than 5000 men, women and children EVERY DAY, 365 days a year, and shelters more than 600 people every night. 

A donation of just $10 dollars a month ($120/yr) feeds ONE person for an ENTIRE YEAR And $20 a month ($240/yr) feeds TWO people for 365 days. Only the Salvation Army Bed & Bread Trucks can do that. 

You can even donate NOW by calling 248-528-0760 or by going to WJR.com. 

On a less serious note... This week's Podcast also includes a personal story about the closing of the Detroit Playboy Club...and what each "Bunny" received as a "Retirement" gift. And some stories about Detroit's own Thom Sharpe...the man who wrote and sang the classic "They Don't Make Nun Names Like That No More".

So step out of the cold and get fired up for Podcast #151!   (41:18) 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog!

-Dick 


2 Comments

Women Tickled Pink!

A female "Viagra" pill has been put up for federal review this week that promises to boost sexual desire in women. 

- So you can wait years for the pill to get approved...or just take your wife to see "50 Shades of Grey". 

*****

Speaking of "50 Shades of Grey"...

-During the run, all movie theater concession stands have replaced the "M&M's" with "S&M's". 

- Also Reese's Peanut Butter Cups only come in size Double D. 

*****

A new study has found that napping can relieve stress and strengthen the immune system. 

- This explains why Ruth Bader Ginsberg looked so relaxed when she woke up during the State of the Union. 

*****

Britain is hosting the first ever Small Penis Convention to encourage health body images for men. 

- So far not one guy has signed up to attend...but a lot of their wives have.

*****

Rolls Royce unveiled a new model at the Paris Auto Show that's designed to chauffeur pets.

- Don't they already have a car for Dogs? It's called the Land "Rover". 

*****

A new Dr. Seuss book is being published using materials that were found in his home 22 years after his death. The book is call, "What Pet Should I Get?" 

- His relatives were thrilled with the discovery saying, "A new book! Oh Me... Oh My! More Money for us! From our favorite Dead Guy!" 

*****

IMPORTANT NOTE: Don't forget that the 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up a week from tomorrow, February 27, on 760 WJR. The Bed & Bread Club feeds 5000 Metro Detroiters every day, 365 days a year, and shelters 600 men, women and children every single night. I hope you'll tune in and contribute to this vital program! In fact you can even donate RIGHT NOW by calling 248-528-0760 or going to WJR.com. I will be behind the mic from 7pm to 10pm along with Jackie, Big Al and some of the other "Purtan's People" from my radio show. I look forward to once again being a part of this incredible 16 hour event...starting at 6am and going to 10pm...and thank you in advance for your support!!! 

For a look at just how bad the situation in Detroit is...especially for the kids...click on the link. Poverty & Kids In Detroit

-Dick 

"Best in Show"... "Best in Snow"...

The Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile crashed on a snowy Pennsylvania road earlier this week.  

- Police say they haven't seen this much damage to a Hot Dog since Lorena Bobbitt was involved.  

*****

A Beagle named "Miss P" took Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show last night and today will visit the Empire State Building, have lunch at a NYC Steakhouse and meet with Donald Trump.  

- The dog wants hair styling tips and to find out how The Donald keeps his "coat" so shiny.  

- Looks like "Miss P" is a shoe-in for The Donald's new show "Canine Apprentice". 

- "Miss P" was so excited to win, she "Miss P-eed" all over the judges leg. 

*****

On February 23, Little Caesars will introduce it's new Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish Pizza. Each Pizza will cost $12 and come wrapped in 3 and a half feet of Bacon. 

- Bacon is good...but I think we've gone off the rails when we start measuring it in FEET. 

- When you order, just ask for the Heart Attack! Heart Attack! Special. 

*****

Tech experts are predicting that the new Apple Smart Watch, which comes out in April, will sell 20 million units this year. 

- I already HAVE a Smart Watch... It's so Smart it can tell the time! 

*****

Lady Gaga is engaged! 

- She'll be the first bride in history whose wedding gown will be served as the meat entree at the reception. 

*****

A video of Joe Biden massaging the shoulders and whispering in the ear of the wife of our new Defense Secretary Ashton Carter while her husband gave a speech has gone viral. 

- Bill Clinton would have done it but he was out of town. 

*****

A Gallup poll found that 65% of Americans think our handling of the ISIS situation is going badly.

- The other 35% work at the White House. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow! And don't forget the 28th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 27, on 760 WJR! 

-Dick 


1 Comment

Purtan Podcast #150: "James & Jackie: The Untold Personal Story"

Click here to download Podcast

Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #150. In this installment we cover two important topics: The Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon coming up on Friday, Feb. 27 which will be broadcast on WJR 760 (You can even donate NOW by calling 248-528-0760 or go to WJR.com)...and on a personal note, Jackie talks candidly about her relationship with "The Walking Man", James Robertson. It's the not-yet-told behind the scenes story of how she came to know James over the last many months and how what has blossomed into an International news story, began as a simple friendship between James, Jackie, and Blake...the man who many times picked James up on the side of the road and gave him a ride to and from work. You're going to hear details of the whole James Story that no one has heard before. It's worth the listen I promise...and you might even want to share this with your friends. 

Have a great weekend and I'll see you back here Monday with my regular blog...

-Dick

1 Comment

Williams Suspended After Pants Catch On Fire...

NBC News announced that Brian Williams has been suspended for 6 months without pay effective immediately, which will cost him half his annual salary which comes to a cool $5 million. 

- Brian immediately issued a statement saying "After all my close call war experiences in Iraq, I need a vacation anyway".   

*****

Jon Stewart told his audience yesterday that he will retire later this year after 17 years of hosting "The Daily Show". 

- I'm no Nostradamus...but I'm thinkin' we might be looking at "The NBC Nightly New with Jon Stewart". 

*****

A new survey by Time Out Magazine found that Brits have the sexiest, "most dateable" accent in the world. 

- This must be the reason why Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles find each other so HOT. 

- The "least sexy" accent in the world went to the the women on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey". 

*****

Samsung's new Smart TV's are reportedly eavesdropping on owners' private conversations. 

- So far the most common thing they've overheard is, "300 plus channels and there's not one damn thing worth watching". 

- Coming in a close second: "Honey, grab the chips and dip...Duck Dynasty's coming on!"

*****

This Thursday will be Rosie O'Donnell's last day on The View. 

- The staff plans to throw a huge party...on FRIDAY. 

*****

In his State of the City Address last night, Mayor Duggan said Detroit is "On the road to recovery". 

- Which is good news unless you happen to drive into one of the many potholes on that road. 

*****

Charles Manson called off his wedding after learning that his bride-to-be just wanted to sell his corpse to a museum when he dies. 

- Apparently he forgot to include the whole "don't sell my corpse" thing in their Pre-NUT-ual Agreement. 

- This is good news for all you single ladies looking for a mass murderer! Charlie is back on the market!!!

*****

Critics are giving "50 Shades of Grey" only 3 stars because of it's underwhelming dialogue. 

- What dialogue??? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

James: An Update

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Mayor Mike Duggan will deliver his State of the City Address tonight at 7pm...but will be minus one of the special guests he invited to attend. James Robertson, the man who has earned the respect and admiration of people worldwide for walking 21 miles to get to his factory job and back, has politely declined the Mayor's invite. Why? Because his shift doesn't end until 10pm. As he told the Free Press, "It would interfere with my work. That's just me". Despite being in the spotlight, being gifted a new car, and receiving over $350,000 in donations... James is still James. It doesn't get any better than that!! 

*****

NECCO, the company that makes candy hearts, is putting "emoticons"on their Valentine Candy Hearts this year. 

- This will be a great Valentine's Gift for my wife Gail...and will mean even more when I figure out what an "Emoticon" is. 

*****

Today is "Extraterrestrial Culture Day"...a day celebrating Extraterrestrial visitors. 

- You know, like Dennis Rodman. 

*****

Brian Williams announced that he's pulling out of a scheduled appearance on David Letterman's show. 

- Apparently he's afraid Dave would take a lot of shots at him...and even if he didn't, Brian would claim that he did. 

*****

Tonight is the season premiere of "Amish Mafia" on the Discovery Channel. 

- If you've been hankering for a slow-speed buggy chase, tonight is your night.

- It's just like "The Sopranos" except people don't get whacked with guns, they get hit with wheels of cheese. 

*****

Bill Cosby cancelled two shows in Boston due to an extreme weather forecast. 

- Instead, he'll stay in his nice, warm hotel room and have a friend over for a drink from the mini-bar. 

*****

Tiger Woods has fallen to a career worst of 62nd in the World Golf Rankings. 

- Once again, Tiger's putter seems to have gotten him in trouble. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

Brian Williams Under Fire...This Time FOR REAL

Brian Williams announced that he's taking some time off to regroup in the wake of the "I was in a helicopter that was hit by an RPG" scandal. 

- Williams career is going down like the Titantic... which he was on, by the way. 

- If he ends up getting fired, there will be a bright side. It will give him plenty of time to work on his book, "Lone Survivor: How I Made It Out Of The Hindenburg Alive". 

*****

Madonna kicked off the 2015 Grammys last night with a performance of her new single. 

- The song is a remake of her old hit "Vogue" but this time it's called "AARP Magazine". 

Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett sang a duet of the classic "Cheek to Cheek". 

- You know that song...it's the one about Kim Kardashian putting on her underwear. 

*****

The new Spongebob Squarepants movie was #1 at the box office over the weekend, knocking American Sniper out of the top spot. 

- I've got one word for Spongebob... DUCK! 

*****

No word yet on who will replace Rosie O'Donnell after her decision the leave "The View". 

- How about Brian Williams? He could enthrall the girls on The View with all of his war stories. 

*****

A new book claims that Charles Manson's new bride married him so she can keep his corpse when he dies. 

- Could those two crazy kids be anymore in love???

*****

A study by Medicine Net found that having spontaneous sex can increase your lifespan. 

- If this is true, Charlie Sheen is gonna live to be 200 years old. 

- But if you have spontaneous sex with Lindsay Lohan you're gonna need some antibiotics. 

*****

A German cannibal received 300 offers after placing an ad for a volunteer who wanted to be killed and eaten. 

- Those who responded included a Mr. Frank N. Beans, H. Amburger, and a Miss Patty Melt. 

- Let's just hope this guy's not on Facebook...I don't want to see a picture of who he had for dinner last night. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick 

2 Comments

A Picture Perfect Day...

Jackie was on hand at Suburban Ford in Sterling Heights at noon today when James Robertson, the Detroit man who has made International news and gained worldwide admiration for his tireless work ethic, was surprised with a brand new 2015 Ford Taurus. After ten plus years of walking 21 miles to get to and from his job, as of today, James has his own car. 

The first pic is courtesy of the Detroit Free Press photographer Ryan Garza. The other three were taken by Jackie...with the last one showing the great amount of media that was on hand. 

2 Comments

James...

The inspiring story of James Robertson continues to touch the hearts and minds of people not only here in Detroit, but around the Nation and the World. And there are big things happening for him this week...(stay tuned!) But first, I want to share with you a video put together by Detroit Free Press Journalist Bill Laitner and his Videographer, Ryan Garza, that appeared on Freep.com. It's a look at "A Day in The Life" of this remarkable man - who walks 21 miles to get to work and back to his home everyday.  If you've wondered what all the buzz is about...just watch. And if you haven't listened to our special Podcast with James yet, recorded as usual, at the Purtan dining room table, just click on the Podcast bar at the bottom of this page to hear even more from a true gentleman whose determination, work ethic, wit and wisdom honestly, knocked my socks off!  -Dick  (If the 2 minute video starts before you're done reading this...just hit "Replay" at the end).