Bill Clinton was named “Father of the Year” by the National Father’s Day Council.
- In a related story, he received no votes in the “Husband of the Year” contest.
- Apparently “The National Fathers Day Council” is made up of a bunch of kids who look suspiciously like Bill Clinton.
- Meanwhile, Arnold Schwarzenger was named “Father of the Year” by the “National Housekeepers Council”.
A Las Vegas mother who was having an affair with her biological son was arrested for trying to murder her husband.
- I thought “General Hospital” went off the air?
Prostitutes in Brazil are learning English is preparation for the 2014 Olympics.
- And in addition to cash, the girls have announced that they will accept Bronze, Silver & Gold.
- So all you guys planning on attending the Olympics can cancel your order for “Roseta Stone - Brazilian”!
A former bodyguard for Justin Bieber is suing the pop star, claiming Justin beat him up.
- There’s not a jury in the world that’s gonna believe Justin Bieber is strong enough to beat up ANYBODY.
On this day in 1952 Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe.
- That night, he scored back to back home runs without wearing his uniform.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Ah…the weekend! And time for a brand-spanking new Podcast from Purtan Podcast Central (aka my dining room table). Jackie finally sneezed the cold out of her system and is back with me, along with my wife Gail - who after sitting in as special co-host last week - received such rave reviews - is back for Podcast #69.
She shares her recurring bout with “MCPS” (Missing Cell Phone Syndrome), and if you thought you had a “Smartphone” now…just wait. I’ll tell you about one coming out in the next few years that can actually “taste”. (So your phone won’t only be able to give you directions to a restaurant, it will order something for itself when you get to your table!)
We also talk about what NOT to use in an airport bathroom and Jackie offers up a useful way to use gel hand sanitizer that can get you out of some sticky situations.
Speaking of “sticky situations”…Gail and Jackie weigh in on the controversy over the comments Brent Musburger made about the Alabama QB’s girlfriend during their BCS game against Notre Dame. Was it sexist or “Mus Ado About Nothing”?
And despite the ridicule I’m sure to take from my family, I’ll update you on the situation with the ancient stationary bike that I had taken away by the guys at 1-800-Got-Junk. As I mentioned last week, I had a change of heart and actually went to the junkyard myself to find it. I got it back…but is it working? Listen to find out. (It may not be as exciting as Lance Armstrong admitting that he doped up, but it does involve a bike!)
Oh, I almost forgot. You’ll also find out why the “blueberry tart” I found in the kitchen tasted like wax. (Yes…it’s embarrassing, but I was hungry!)
Finally, if you are still breathing a sigh of relief that the Mayans were wrong about the world ending last December 21st…we’re not out of the woods yet. I’ll give you a rundown of some of the craziest end-of-the-world predictions (including one made by a “magic chicken”) and one that may not be so crazy: It was made by the man considered to be the greatest scientist of all time. And according to him, our days are numbered.
So now that you’ve already broken all your New Year’s Resolutions, resolve to listen to Podcast #69!
Have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday with our daily blog!
-Dick
Purtan Podcast #69 (38:02)
Not a single candidate received the required 75% of the vote to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame this year.
- Pete Rose was devasted…He had bet 10 grand that he’d get in.
Lance Armstrong may finally admit that he used performance enhancing drugs when he talks to Oprah next week.
- He’s got so much stuff in his system, he’ll jump up and down on her couch more times than Tom Cruise.
- He’s doing it on Oprah since she’s the only person in the universe capable of giving him a new car, an expensive trip and getting back all of his Tour de France Championship titles.
A source close to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West said their decision to buy an $11 million mansion and raise their baby in L.A. was a “no-brainer”.
- “No-brainer” also happens to be Kim and Kanye’s pet names for each other.
- Now that they’ve picked out their home, all they have to do is decide who will get to keep it in the divorce.
With the sale of Current TV, Al Gore is now richer that Mitt Romney.
- Which means Gore will run for President again in 2016, only this time as a Republican.
Lexus has unveiled a car with an on-board device that anticipates road danger.
- It’s called the “Lindsay Lohan Locator”.
On this day in 1958 14-year-old Bobby Fisher made headlines when the Brooklyn teenager won his first U.S. Chess Championship.
- He was touted as a genius around the world but still considered a “loser” by his school classmates for belonging to the Chess Club.
Also on this day in 1984 the United States and the Vatican established full diplomatic relations after 117 years.
- Before that, the US could only commincate with the Pope by reading the white smoke signals that came out of the Sistine Chapel.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here with an all-new Podcast on Friday!
-Dick
In an interview, weatherman Al Roker admited that after having gastric bypass surgery in 2002 he pooped his pants at the White House.
- That hadn’t happened to a guy in the White House since Hillary walked in on Bill and Monica.
- Roker described it as an “Unexpected high presure front”… or in this case, back.
Ticketmaster accidentally sold tickets to Obama’s inauguration a day too early.
- Which actually saved Nancy Pelosi some time…She’s been sitting at her computer ready to hit “Buy” since election day.
A new app is available that turns your smartphone into a key.
- If your phone is so “smart”, how come it needs an app to do that?
- How are you supposed to talk on the phone while you drive, if its stuck in the ignition?
There’s now a cats-only online Social Network.
- And everypost is the same…”I’m lying on the back of the couch doing nothing”.
- It’s already filled with pictures of “Adorable people”.
According to a new PPP survey, Congress is less popular with Americans than root canals, head lice, traffic jams, used car salesmen, cockroaches and colonoscopies.
- At least with colonscopies they knock you out before they rip you a new one.
On the plus side, Congress is still more popular than the Kardashians, Lindsay Lohan and Gonorrhea.
- The Kardashians, Linsday Lohan and Gonorrhea…isn’t that kind of redundant.
Arnold Schwarzenegger says that movies do not inspire violence.
- However movies about a wife finding out that her famous husband fathered a child with the family housekeeper, does.
On this day in 1929 the Seeing Eye Institute officiall opened its first day of dog training classes in Nashville, Tennessee.
- They were going to use Seeing Eye Cats, but the cats refused to get off the couch.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
A new trend called The 8 Hour Diet claims you can lose weight by eating whatever you want, but within an eight hour period.
- This sounds great! Especially if you can spread the eight hours out over the course of the day!
- They got the idea after Chris Christie’s 24 Hour Diet didn’t work out so well.