According to a new Gallup poll, the TSA is more popular than Congress.
- So apparently American’s are more comfortable with “pat-downs” than “shake-downs”.
- Maybe it’s because the TSA agents at least talk to you in person before they abuse you.
A Chicago man is holding an Internet auction for a bird poop stain on his car windshield that he says looks like Michael Jackson.
- The man’s wife accidentally took it through a car wash and it changed the shape of Michael’s nose.
- But that’s not as good as the Maple Leaf I tried to sell that was a dead-ringer for the Jackson 5.
Police arrested a guy in Iowa who was walking around naked and covered in Crisco.
- As a matter of fact the cops called him “Crisco” because he was fat in the can! (Ba-da-boom!)
- Naked and covered in Crisco, that’s okay. Now if he was naked and covered in mustard…that would be weird!
This is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.
- Geoffrey Fieger will lead an expert panel of attorneys in group discussion.
Cher is making a comeback album.
- It will be available on the old vinyl records as a tribute to all the plastic in her.
- In related news… her son Chaz is forming a Boy Band! They’ll do covers of all the hits he used to do in his Girl Band!
NBA players will begin wearing advertising on their jerseys this season, just like the European soccer players have for years.
- Most of the players will be sponsored by GoDaddy.com.
On this day in 1756 Daniel Boone married Rebecca Bryan at age 16. The marriage lasted 56 years and they had 10 children.
- Although two of the kids looked suspiciously like Davy Crockett.
Don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of big bucks in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! THE DEADLINE FOR NOMINATIONS is today at 5pm! There’s $40,000 up for grabs and nominating couldn’t be easier! Just click on any one of the SC ads on this page!
Thanks and have a great day!
-Dick
And so the flame has been put out and the 2012 Olympic Summer Games in London have come to a close. And a very rockin’ one at that! Last night’s closing ceremonies featured a music and visual extravaganza that took us on a fifty year journey of British Pop and Fashion. 
From live performances by George Michael, the long-awaited (I guess) reuninon of the Spice Girls to The Who, to tributes to The Beatles, David Bowie & Queen… it was pretty amazing.
Among my favorite moments was Eric Idle, of Monty Python fame, leading not only the characters on stage, but the 80,000 people in the stands, in “You’ve Got To Look On The Bright Side Of Life” from the movie “The Life Of Brian”.
And I especially loved the three Rolls Royce automobiles they used on stage… even though the car that has always been the symbol of England is now owned by Volkswagon and is made by BMW in Germany.
As for the games themselves, the US had an incredible run — taking home the most medals overall — a whopping 104! — followed by China’s 87, Russia’s 82, and Great Britain’s 65.
We also came out on top in the Gold category… with a total of 46. China was next with 38, Great Britain earned 29 and Russia got 24.
Over the two weeks, 204 countries participated in 302 events. Congrats to all the athletes, but in particular to Team USA who did such an astounding job! So much for the “Decline of America”!
On a side note… I was so inspired by Michael Phelps and the entire US Men’s and Women’s Swim Teams, that later today, I begin my official training for the 2016 games in Rio. I’m hoping to compete in the “Solo Syncronized Swimming” event.
-Dick
BTW…The Games may be over… but you’ve got until 5pm tomorrow (Tuesday, August 14) to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of $40,000 being given away by the Suburban Collection in their “Great Charity Giveaway”! That’s right… the deadline for nominations is TOMORROW at 5pm. Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page before time runs out!
As the Olympics draw to a close…Jackie and I are joined by former “Purtan’s Person” Dave Zoran - who among many others, did the voice of Canadian Sports Reporter “Pierre LaFondue” on my radio show. We discuss what sports we think are hot, not, and those in between. We also take an in-depth look at Michael Phelps plan to try and improve his breast stroke (he’s got a girlfriend!) and ponder why Ryan Lochte’s Mom announced to the entire world that her son only does “one night stands”.
We also take a look at “The Way We Were” as we mourn the passing of the great Marvin Hamlisch, whose music was featured in so many films including “The Sting”.
And speaking of “Stings”… I recount my recent encounter with a rogue bee.
So put on some “Off!”… and turn the Podcast “On!” Have a great weekend…
-Dick
A semi-slimmed down Kwame Kilpatrick appeared in court yesterday wearing a cream-colored suit with pink stripes and a piece of masking tape behind each ear. The tape holds metal beads that are part of an eastern diet. He says he started losing weight while in prison and has dropped 16 pounds.
- Only 200 more to go!
- Something tells me he may be back on the “Prison Diet” in the not too distant future.
BTW… Now is your chance to “weigh in” on what local charity you think deserves to win big bucks in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! There’s $40,000 up for grabs! To nominate your favorite local charity, just click on any of the Suburban Collection ads on this page! It’s just that easy!
A 15-year-old boy from Columbus, Ohio collapsed and was rushed to the hospital after locking himself in his room and playing “Call of Duty” on his XBOX for four straight days. Doctors say he was suffering from dehydration.
- And really bad parenting.
- Hey… at least he wasn’t doing that other thing that most teenage boys do when they lock themselves in their room for four straight days.
A new study shows that chronic exposure to “butter flavoring” is harmful to your brain.
- Which explains why there are people who actually find Adam Sandler movies funny.
Country singer Randy Travis walked into a convenience store near his home in Texas, naked, and attempted to buy cigarettes, but left when the clerk asked for money.
- The female clerk noted that “Not everything in Texas is bigger”.
He was later arrested for drunk driving after he ran his Trans Am off the road. Police found the naked singer flailing around in a ditch threatening to shoot them.
- Country song writers refer to this type of behavior as “research”.
More than 600 people were lined up at two hot-dog style carts in NYC where the Trojan company was giving away free vibrating sex toys, when a local government official shut the carts down. One woman said “Mayor Bloomberg doesn’t want people to have any fun… You can’t have a giant soda and you can’t have a vibrator”.
- There go her plans for Saturday night.
- Wait until Bloomberg realizes that people can put their cell phones on vibrate.
As of this week, the Internet is 21 years old.
- So if you see Al Gore today, be sure to thank him.
On this day in 1607 the first Thanksgiving Service was held by colonists in Maine.
- Boy, did they feel stupid when they found out Thanksgiving wasn’t until November!
Have a great day and don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of $40,000 in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! Just click on any Suburban Collection ad on this page!
See you back here tomorrow with a brand new Podcast…
-Dick
John Conyers easily won his 20th primary election yesterday with 55% of the vote. His closest competitor got just 18%.
- Those “Vote For Me Or I’ll Send My Wife Monica To Your House” ads really paid off!
And speaking of “winning”… You could help your favorite local charity win their share of $40,000 in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”. Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page right now!
Kwame Kilpatrick and his father will be at the courthouse in downtown Detroit today as a judge begins the jury selection process for their upcoming Federal corruption trial. Potential jurors will have to answer a 28-page questionaire.
- To try and win over the jurors, Kwame has set up a “Lemonade & Bribery Stand” outside the courthouse.
- Carlita Kilpatrick is said to be so confidant Kwame will be found “not guilty” she didn’t even bat an eye!
Congrats to the Tigers for their 9th inning 6-5 win over the Yankees last night. They’ve now tied the club record of 10 straight victories at home and have won 16 of their last 17 home games - the best stretch since 1919.
A Canadian study found that obese drivers are more likely to be in car crashes and more likely to suffer serious injuries.
- That’s because the air bag can’t deploy when your “spare tire” is pressed up against the steering wheel.
- Among the serious injuries: Getting French Fries stuffed up your nose and being blinded by the Big Mac’s “Secret Sauce”.