The Rolling Stones are denying reports that they plan to call it “quits” next year.
- Keith Richards says he doesn’t remember telling anyone that. Then again, he can’t remember the 1960’s… 70’s… 80’s…
- They can’t stop or they’ll start gathering moss!
- Mick Jaggar says the band will keep going despite the fact that these days no one in the group can get any “Satisfaction” without the help of Viagra.
Bobby Brown has married his longtime manager Alicia Etheredge.
- Alicia told the press she knows about Bobby’s troubled past but she’s sure she can change him!!!
Lindsay Lohan was out partying the night after she was taken to the hospital for exhaustion.
- I don’t know about you, but I’m the one who’s exhausted hearing about Lindsay Lohan!
On this day in 1893 Lizzie Borden was found not-guilty of the ax murders of her father and step-mother.
- Although the jury did admit they thought she was a bit of a whack job.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
“The Vagina Monologues” were performed last night on the steps of the State Captiol in Lansing in response to the male Speaker of the House who banned use of the word “Vagina”, after a female representative used the term “my vagina” as part of her opposition to new abortion legislation.
- Attendees loved the performance and said it really hit the spot!
Mitt Romney’s campaign is being criticized because one of his campaign busses circled the block, honking the horn, during a speech by President Obama.
- Obama’s campaign staff said, “You can’t do that” and Romney’s people responded “Yes We Can!”
- They were trying to get the dog back who jumped off the roof of bus!
- Hey at least the dog didn’t lift his leg on the podium.
These hot, muggy days are the perfect time to treat yourself to the new Bacon Sundae at Burger King. It’s vanilla ice cream, fudge, caramel and bacon crumbles.
- If it catches on… next up: “The Pork-cicle”.
Tomorrow morning Regis and Kathy Lee will re-unite for one day on the “Today Show”.
- Regis has already begun taking Prozac and Vitamin B shots in preparation for the event.
Scalpers are selling tickerts to the first midnight showings of The Dark Knight Rises for $150.
- Add in a bucket of popcorn and a large drink, and you can get out of there for just under $300!
On this day in 1941, Cherrios Cereal was invented. The “O” shaped cereal had a 1/2-ince diameter, weighed .0025 ounces each, and one serving was 400 “O”s. It was originally called “Cheerie Oats”…
- It went over way better than his previous invention, “Depressed Rice”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
President Obama is under fire from opponents for halting the deportations of up to 800,000 children of illegal immigrants.
- The parents of teenagers who won’t be deported are mad as well.
- Republicans claim Obama is denying the kids “a great time at an extended Summer Camp”.
Mitt Romney refused to say whether he’d overturn the order because he said that he would offer a permanent solution that would make it irrelevant.
- He’s planning to strap the kids to the roof his car and drive them back to Mexico himself.
Arizona police arrested a woman after she allegedly stabbed her husband over a quiz in Cosmopolitan magazine.
- That’s why I always take those Cosmo quizzes while standing in line, alone, at the drugstore!
On her current tour Madonna is reportedly traveling with an entourage of 200 mostly male security people.
- This is the first case of men anywhere pleading for a woman to keep her clothes on.
Tim Tebow said he’s gained 9 pounds since joining the New York Jets.
- Uh oh… somebody’s been slipping 32 ounce soda pops into the Gatorade!
According to a study, living at high altitudes extends your lifespan.
- Unless you’re John Denver.
- Good news for people living on Mt. Elliott and Mt. Clemens!
Paramount and Hasbro created a special version of the board game Monopoly to honor the 40th annivesary of the 1972 movie “The Godfather”.
- Game pieces include an iron, a dog, and a miniature Fredo in a row boat.
On this day in 1815 Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo at the cost of millions of lives.
- On the bright side… it paved the way for one of ABBA’s biggest hits!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
As you may know, I am the proud father of six lovely daughters, and this year for Father’s Day they’re going all out! They decided to pool their money, spend none of it, and give me a day off from Podcasting! Since it’s their gift to me, I decided to post an “Encore” of a Podcast they did a while back while I was on vacation. It features daughters #1, #2 and #3 … also known as Jennifer, Jackie and Jill.
I call it, “While Dad’s Away… aka ‘The Purtan Girls Gone Wild!’”. It’s actually Podcast #35 for you mathmatical types out there.
After they recorded it I asked the girls what they talked about. They replied, “Anything and everything that we WOULDN’T have talked about if you’d been there!”
Think of it as “The View” on steroids!
I hope you enjoy it and hope that your Father’s Day is a great one…
-Dick
A Georgia woman was awarded $3 million after a jury ruled that her deceased husband’s heart doctor failed to warn him that he wasn’t healthy enough for a three-some. Her husband died of a heart attack in 2009 while engaging in sex with another man and a woman that wasn’t his wife. She’d asked for $5 million but the jury said her husband was 40% responsible for his own death.
- If it was a three-some, wouldn’t you say he was about 33% responsible?
A rumor is spreading like wildfire that President Obama will legalize marijuana as a so-called “October Surprise” in order to get re-elected.
- That is like, so totally “Change You Can Believe In”… man!
- He got the idea from Herbert Hoover’s slogan, “A Chicken In Every Pot!”
- Joe Biden allegedly agrees with the President’s plan… which would make it a “Joint decision”.