Police in Media, Pennsylvania, arrested a man for DUI after he allegedly drove drunk to the police station to pick up his son, who had been arrested for DUI.
- Which will make it so much more convenient for the guys’ wife/mother on prison visiting days!
- Sounds like somebody needs a “Designated Dad”.
On this day in 1922, President Warren G. Harding had the first radio installed in the White House.
- He bought it from a store that had recently changed it’s name from “Victrola Shack”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
Yesterday on NBC’s the “Today” show, President Obama said he knows that people are frustrated that things haven’t improved faster, but, he said, “It turns out our Founders designed a system that makes it more difficult to bring about change than I would like sometimes.”
- So it wasn’t George Bush’s fault… It was George Washingtons!
- Since realizing the founding fathers caused the problem, he’s decided he will no longer serve “Sam Adams” at any future White House Beer Summits.
The Prez added that he thinks he deserves another term because “as President, you get better as time goes on.” That prompted some on the right to suggest that his campaign slogan could be, “Obama 2012: He’ll do better this time, honest!”
- Bill Clinton agreed saying, “Being President is like having sex. The more you do it, the better you get at it”.
This year’s Super Bowl beat the record set by last year’s game making it the most-watched show in U.S. history. It drew an average 111.3 million viewers. But the real winner was Madonna: viewership peaked during her halftime show at 114 million.
- It peaked because every one wanted to see if they’d ended up getting another peak at Madonna’s privates.
- More people watched Madonna than actually watched the game, so the NFL is considering making changes: At next year’s Super Bowl, most of the night will be a rock concert with the game taking place at halftime.
- 114 million people watched Madonna. Which is just 7 more people than she’s had sex with.
Iran’s Institue for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults has banned Simpsons’ toys from Iran. Bart and Homer dolls are blacklisted, as well as Barbie, and dolls of adults or any doll with distinguishable adult genitals, “because these dolls are promoters of Western culture”. 
But Spiderman and Superman dolls got a pass because even though they’re American, “they help oppressed people”.
- And that my friends is the definition of the word “Irony”.
- Sounds like the guys who made this ruling suffer from a lack of “distinguishable adult genitals”.
- Superman is okay, but Lois Lane has to enter a phone booth and change into a Burka!
The world’s leading daredevil skydiver, Felix Baumgartner, hopes to break a world record by donning a spacesuit with oxygen, taking a helium balloon to the edge of space, and diving out from 120,000 feet, nearly 23 miles up. He will break the sound barrier in 35 seconds, reach 690mph, and he says he doesn’t plan to deploy his parachute until he’s less than 5,000 feet from the ground.
- If I had did that, my scream would break the sound barrier in 5 seconds and would be the scream heard ‘round the world.
A University study has shown that giving up tweeting and e-mailing is harder to resist than cigarettes and alcohol.
- Tell that to my ex-brother in-law Joe.
Randy Travis was arrested after he was allegedly found sitting drunk in a pickup truck in a parking lot in Texas.
- Isn’t that how he writes all his country songs?
On this day in 1964, the Beatles first arrived in America at JFK Airport in New York. They were greeted by thousands of screaming female fans.
- It was a slightly bigger reception than the day before when Herman’s Hermits’ plane arrived.
NOTE: Tonight’s the night! It’s “Comedy For A Cause” to raise money for the Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon at Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle in Royal Oak. Tix are $25 and include six very funny comedians plus free BBQ and Salsa! I’ll be MCing the event and hope to M-See you there! Doors open at 6pm. Showtime 7:30pm. Call 248-542-9900 for reservations!
See you tonight!
-Dick
In a very exciting Super Bowl, QB Eli Manning and the Giants pulled off another one of their patented 4th quarter drives all the way down the field, with the highlight being Eli’s 40-yd. pass to former U of M wide receiver Mario Manningham. The Giants scored a TD from six yards out, with 57 seconds left on the clock - with the running back Ahmad Bradshaw untouched by the Patriots, on purpose. That gave the Patriots the opportunity to use those 57 seconds to score a touchdown and win the game, but that didn’t happen.
No wardrobe malfunction this year… but that didn’t mean the halftime show starring Madonna didn’t cause controversey. But Madonna wasn’t the one causing it. 
One her “guest performers”, M.I.A. gave the finger to the crowd and over a hundred million TV viewers and allegedly sang, “I don’t give a BLEEP”. NBC and the NFL have apologized for the event which they said was “spontaneous” and they were unable to cut away from it in time.
- Don’t look for M.I.A. at next years halftime show… since the NFL will make sure she’s Missing In Action.
Meantime Madonna put on one of the most extravagent stage shows in halftime history, but the real question is: did she actually sing? I thought it was mostly lip-synched and a little bit live at the end, as she performed a medley of her hits including “Vogue” and “Like a Prayer”. As for movement… she was a little slower, and almost tripped once, but made it thru.
- Madonna’s 53. Think of her as halfway between Lady Gaga and Betty White.
- At one point I was wondering if she was wearing fish net stockings or just had vericose veins.
Advertisers paid $3.5 million for 30 seconds of time… but Chrysler paid more for a 2-MINUTE ad featuring Clint Eastwood as “Dirty Harry” touting Detroit as the comeback city.
But for all the expensive stunts and celebrities from top Ad Agencies, a focus group found that four of the five favorite ads were just funny spots with dogs. The #1 pick showed a Great Dane that killed the family cat, bribing his master to keep quiet by bringing him Doritos. That was actually a contest winner - created by a musician and graphic designer who paid $20 to make the ad.
- He had to buy a blank DVD, two bags of Doritos, a can of soup and a pooper-scooper.
- He said the hardest part was getting the untrained dog to stand still with a Doritos bag in his mouth, and to deal with two cats who “were real divas”.
On this day in 1971, astronaut Alan Shepard became the first person to hit a golf ball on the moon.
- He got a hole in one because as well all know, the moon is made of swiss cheese!
NOTE: “Comedy For A Cause” to raise money for the Salvation Army Bed and Bread Radiothon is tomorrow night, Tuesday, at Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle in Royal Oak. I’ll be there… along with 6 very funny comedians! $25 includes BBQ snacks plus Chips ‘n Salsa! Call 248-542-9900 for reservations.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here - and hopefully at the Comedy Castle - tomorrow! Doors open at 6pm. Showtime 7:30pm!
-Dick
What do “Toilet Texting”, and what women want for Valentine’s Day, have in common? Fortunately, absolutely nothing! But we talk about both, along with my new “drink of choice” and how Morgan Freeman dumped his step-Grand Daughter/girlfriend for a new squeeze. Plus - details about my upcoming return to the microphone to host the 25th Anniversary of the nation’s largest one day/one station Radiothon, benefiting the Salvation Army’s Bed & Bread Club which feeds 5000 men, women & children 365 days a year. It’s coming up on Friday, February 24th - live from the Oakland Mall - from 6am to 10pm. NOTE: This year’s Radiothon will be carried on 760 WJR.
It’s Groundhog Day… and unfortunately, America’s most trusted Meteorologist, Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his hole this morning and saw his shadow. That means, of course, six more weeks of winter.
- Mitt Romney walked outside this morning, saw the shadow of his hair, signaling six more months of attack ads.
- Newt Gingrich walked outside this morning, saw the shadow of his belly, signaling six more months of attack ads.
Donald Trump will hold a press conference in Las Vegas this afternoon to make a “major announcement”. While no one is sure what he’ll say, Politico.com is reporting that “The Donald” will throw his endorsement behind Newt Gingrich.
- That’s the biggest behind he’s endorsed since he said something nice about one of the Kardashian sisters.
- Hollywood insiders say he’s going to announce plans for his new reality show, “Celebrity Appresident”.
- Actually, Trump and Gingrich have a lot in common… they each have a whole bunch of ex-wives.
The next time you get a phone call, try not to think where it’s coming from. A new study by the marketing firm 11mark found that 75 percent of smartphone users have texted, e-mailed, used an app or surfed the web while… wait for it… sitting on the toilet. More than 90% of people aged 28 to 35 admit they will return a call or text while on the pot. And one in five men say they’ve joined a conference call while sitting on the throne, despite the danger of making audible bathroom noises or accidentally hitting the video conference button.
- Which is why I’d way rather be #1 on someone’s speed-dial than #2!
- The guys who make noises can always say it was coming from “Farmville”.
- So basically, it’s not an iPhone… it’s an iPeed.
- If you do get caught sitting on the toilet during a conference call, just tell your boss you’re really good at multi-tasking.
On Tuesday, Dave and Lindsey Meske of Illinois welcomed a baby daughter named Madelyn. What made that newsworthy is that the couple couldn’t decide between Madelyn and McKenna, so they put those two names (and two others) in a Facebook poll and let Internet users vote to pick their daughter’s name.
- If only the Internet had been around 60 years ago, we wouldn’t be listening to guys named “Newt” and “Mitt”!
- The little Internet-named baby Madelyn, is cooing and Googling - ah - that’s gurgling - up a storm!
- I thought this was a dumb idea until I remembered that Beyonce just named her new baby, “Blue Ivy”.
The Babeland sex shop in NYC is offering a unique service. For 30 bucks, they’s send a bike messenger to deliver sex toys and “accessories” or whatever you need in a “discreet-looking box”. A store spokeswoman says they’ve gotten calls from people who’s “appliances have broken down” and “desparately need a new one delivered within an hour”.
- Turns out the boxes aren’t that discreet… They come from Little Caesar’s and say “Hot & Ready” on them.
- They’re thinking of changing their name to FedSex… “When it absolutely, positively, has to get there RIGHT NOW!”
- Just more proof that New York is “The City That Never Sleeps”.
On this day in 1863, journalist Samuel Clemens used the pen name “Mark Twain” for the first time while on the road in Carson City, Nevada.
- He was on the road a lot, leading his wife to coin the phrase, “Never the Twains Shall Meet!”
SAVE THE DATE!
The 25th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Radiothon is coming up live from the Oakland Mall on Friday, Feb. 24! I’ll be hosting along with the WJR guys as we broadcast live from 6am to 10pm. Listen on 760 WJR! This Radiothon is the only fundraiser for a program that feeds 5000 people in our community 365 days a year!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a new Podcast!
-Dick