Here’s an interview I did the other day with Mitch Albom on WJR concerning the “Best of Purtan” CD, the military charities it benefits, and the party being thrown by the two Charities on Saturday night, December 17th. I’m the host… and you’re invited!
Dick talks about new “Best Of” CD with Mitch Albom
Tonight, the GOP presidential candidates will hold their 11th debate, this time on CNN. The subject will be foreign policy.
- This just in… Herman Cain has been charged with sexual harrassment by a woman at the library he visited to brush up on the history of Libya.
- Rick Perry is playing it safe… He only plans to name TWO countries that he intends to do away with if he’s elected.
- These debates are a lot like DWTS… There’s one on almost every week, everybody dances around the issues, but nobody gets voted off.
Last night, the White House hosted an “evening of down-home country music..” Obama, who’s better known as a fan of Stevie Wonder and Jay-Z, said that after traveling across America and riding buses through small towns, he’s come to appreciate how much country music means to Americans and that it’s “truly made in America”.
- Of course the CD’s the songs are recorded on are made in China, but the singers are pure red, white and blue.
- He said his favorite country song is, “Take This Job… and Shovel It Ready!”
- Obama’s not really a country expert… he thought “Brooks & Dunn” were the guys who made Joe Biden’s suits.
Tonight’s the big night on DWTS… when they announce this season’s mirror ball trophy winner. Despite what most critics agree was a not-so-great performance, Rob Kardashian 
(yes, of THOSE Karsashians) received a perfect score of three tens… setting him up for a potential win tonight. Newly dis-engaged sister Kim, decked out in a tuxedo, was in the studio cheering him on.
- The tux was the one her ex-husband wore to their wedding! All they had to do was use a black king size sheet to let the butt out.
- Co-contestant Ricki Lake was upset that her Mom was bumped from the packed audience because Kim took up two seats.
On this day in 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. On the same day in 1955, The Three Stooges’ Shemp Howard passed away.
- To this day, fans of Shemp still have questions about the “Grassy Nyuk!”
Have a great day and I’ll see you right back here Wednesday… Thanksgiving Eve!
-Dick
Starting today, you can reserve your copy of “The Best of Dick Purtan & Purtan’s People - Vol. #10” CD! It’s a great stocking stuffer in time for Christmas and the holidays! It’s just $19.99 and contains 40 cuts of never released content from the last few years of the show! Plus… proceeds from sales of the CD benefit two outstanding Military charities — Operation Homefront Michigan and Honor Flight Michigan: The Legacy Project. Just click here, or on the ad on this page to reserve your copy today!
Good weekend for Michigan sports teams! Lions, Spartans, Wolverines and Red Wings all won! 
And now we look forward to Thanksgiving, as the undefeated Superbowl Champion Packers visit Ford Field in the annual Turkey Day Game. 
Then on Saturday… it’s Michigan-Ohio State! And this year chances look good for the Wolverines to break their 7-game losing streak against the Buckeyes!
With their Thanksgiving deadline just days away, the alleged “Super Committee” of six Democratic and six Republican Congress members has as much as admitted that after months of meetings, they have failed to agree on a way to cut the deficit by $1.2 Trillion over the next decada. The D’s blame the R’s for refusing to raise taxes on the rich, while the R’s accuse the D’s of being obsessed with raising taxes.
- Now we have something else to be grateful for on Thanksgiving… That the committee will be disbanded.
- Rumor has it, after all this time they still haven’t even agree on their “Super Secret Handshake”!
Congress is on a 10-day break this week. Bottom line: The Super Committee’s failure to reach a deficit deal means that automatic spending cuts will be imposed — but not until January 2013. That is, unless Congress takes action to prevent it.
- So basically, Congress just got a free pass to do nothing for another year!
Police in New York arrested Jose Pimentel, a Domican-born convert to Islam who they believed was plotting to make pipe bombs from plans he got out of al Qaida’s magazine, “Inspire”. They say they’ve been following him for years and that the public was never in danger. Jose’s family grew concerned when he announced he wanted to change his name to “Osama Hussein”.
- If only he’d subscribed to “Bon Apetit”… he could have gotten a killer recipe for “Death by Chocolate”.
- Relatives of the former Libyan dictator Gadhafi, have put a hit out on Jose for not trying to change his name to “Osama Moammar Hussein”.
Police in Florida arrested Oneal Ron Morris, a former man-turned-woman, on charges of impersonating a plastic surgeon. He/She is charged with making a woman sick by giving her a home butt-enhancing injection that contained a mixture of cement, mineral oil, Super Glue and the chemical from a can of “Fix-A-Flat”. Morris has a cartoonishly huge rear end and hips, and told police that she’d performed the same procedure on herself.
- She’s also accused of inserting beer cans in a man to give him “six-pack abs”.
- The victim realized she’d been injected with cement when her husband’s hand prints stayed on her butt permanently.
- Finally! An explanation for Kim Kardashian!
- I would think she would have used “Fix-A-Flat” doing boob jobs.
Sleep expert Dr. Marcus Schmidt tells MSNBC that he’s seeing a dramatic increase in “sleep texting”. Sufferers grab their cell phones and send text messages in their sleep. 
They don’t realized they’ve done it until recipients ask why they were sent baffling texts in the middle of the night. One conservative woman was shocked to discover she was “sexting” and sending naughty photos of herself in her sleep. Dr. Schmidt says sleep deprivation could be the culprit.
- Let’s just hope Barney Frank gets plenty of rest.
- Anthony Weiner and Kwame Kilpatrick immediately announced that they have been diagnosed with the syndrome.
On this day in 1980, more than 83 million TV viewers tuned in to “Dallas” to find out “Who Shot J.R.”
- SPOILER ALERT… In case you haven’t seen the episode yet, STOP READING NOW. It was Kristin, played by Mary Crosby.
Also on this date in in 1877, Thomas Edison announced the invention of the phonograph. The first record ever recorded was Edison reciting “Mary Had A Little Lamb”.
- He put a drum loop behind it and from that day forward was known as Rapper ‘Lil Tom Tom.
Have a great day… and don’t forget to click on any of the “CD ads” on this page to reserve your copy of “The Best of Dick Purtan & Purtan’s People - Vol. 10” today!
See you right back here tomorrow and thanks!
-Dick
It’s the weekend… and our latest Podcast (#19) is up! Friday, Regis Philbin signed off after a record-breaking 16,700 career hours on television! After saying goodbye he, of course, stopped by my dining room table to discuss what’s next for him. We also talked about two pilots in the news: One whose trip to the airplane’s onboard bathroom caused a terrorist scare, and another who literally ran out of gas and took up a collection from passengers to pay for fuel to continue their flight! Plus, I’ll tell you about my back (which is out) and speaking of “out”… I’ll tell you exactly how you can reserve your copy of my new CD, “The Best of Purtan & Purtan’s People - Vol. 10” starting this coming Monday, November 21st, right here at DickPurtan.com! It contains 40 of my favorite character bits and conversations from my last few years on the air and is just $19.99. Proceeds benefit two great Military charities: “Operation Homefront Michigan” and “Honor Flight Michigan: The Legacy Project”. These two fine organizations have teamed up to throw a party during the Holidays and you’re invited!
For details… see the flyer below!
Have a great day and enjoy the podcast!
Podcast #19: Goodbye to Regis… and Hello to my new “Best of CD”! (24min. 30 sec.)
How’d you sleep last night? I’ll bet it was better than Kwame! Yesterday, new allegations were made against his dishonor in an updated racketeering conspiracy indictment against him and a few of his friends. 
Among them: They threatened witnesses with violence, withheld city funds from firms who wouldn’t “pay to play” and that Kwame personally accepted a $10,000 kickback in a restaurant bathroom.
- Kwame says he gave the $10,000 to the bathroom attendant as a tip for getting him a towel.
- The Feds were tipped off by a sign in the bathroom reading, “Guests must give the Mayor a lump sum of cash before returning to their table!”
Yesterday, a group of wealthy liberals wearing name tags that read “Patriotic Millionaire” lobbied Congress to raise their taxes. Grover Norquist, creator the the “anti-tax pledge” said, “If you think the federal government can spend your money better than you can, by all means pay more than you owe!” He also suggested that the IRS add something to tax forms like the tip line on a restaurant check.
- So make sure you do your taxes during lunch time so you’ll only have to tip 15%!
- The IRS is kind of like a restaurant… except they expect you to bring your own bread to the table, then they take most of it away.
GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a debate next Monday. On the agenda: his proposal to reduce Congress to a part time schedule.
- And that would be different from their current schedule how?
- So Perry has three things he wants to do next week: Debate Nancy Pelosi, celebrate Thanksgiving, and… and… um…”
A study of prescription records by Medco Health Solutions found that in 2010, 20% of American adults and over 25% of women took at least one psychiatric or behavioral drug like Xanax, Valium or Ritalin.
- Researchers were shocked at the findings until they popped a couple Xanax and suddently it just didn’t seem so bad.
- The study also revealed that use of Viagra was on the rise.
ATTENTION: Salvation Army Pie Sale!
“The Girl Guards” of the Royal Oak Salvation Army are having their 21st annual Holiday Pie sale starting Wednesday evening, November 23 - Thanksgiving Eve! There are five varieties available and each pie is made with tender loving care by girls ages 11 to 18. Reserve your order by calling (248) 585-5600 or (248) 990-5607 today!
Pumpkin - $8
Apple Crumb & Pecan - $9
Sugar-free Apple Crumb - $10.
All pies (except Pecan) can be ordered unbaked and frozen to enjoy throughout the Holiday Season!
On this day in 1968, NBC made the dumbest TV decision ever, when they cut away from the lat minute of a major Jets-Raiders football game to show the kiddie movie “Heidi”. The Raiders scored twice in nine seconds to come back and win.
- The second worst decision was made last Sunday when they kept the Lions-Bears game on right through to the end!
Have a great day… and remember that starting next Monday, November 21st, you can reserve your copy of “The Best of Purtan - Vol. 10” - my final CD - right here at DickPurtan.com.
See you back here tomorrow with a brand new Podcast!
-Dick
A New York State Supreme Court Justice ruled that the First Amendment doesn’t give “Occupy Wall Street” protesters the right to bring tents and sleeping bags back into Zuccotti Park and live there. They were allowed back into the park, but were not allowed to lay down. If they wanted to sleep, they had to do so while standing or sitting up on stone park benches.
- I became an expert on “sleeping while sitting up” doing a morning radio show for all those years!
- They’ve decided to “Occupy Art Van” instead so at least they can fall asleep sitting up in a nice recliner.