Meanwhile… there was bad news for Kwame. One of his dis-honors former top aides Derrick Miller, pleaded guilty to a bribery and tax evasion charge yesterday in exchange for a reduced sentence, and that means he could testify against his former boss in Federal court. Kwame wouldn’t comment on Miller’s plea but said that he’d like to help Federal investigators ferret out corruption in Detroit.
- So I guess he plans on handing over his personal address and phone books.
Northwestern University reasearchers discovered that fatherhood makes men less manly. A study of men in the Phillipines found that those with higher testosterone levels were more likely to become fathers. 
But once the babies were born, their testoserone levels dropped. They say it shows that men are hardwired by evolution to have kids, then stay and help raise them. And the more the men do to help care for the kids, the farther their testoserone level drops.
- At this point Brad Pitt has absolutely no testosterone but a whole lotta estrogen!
- Apparently this rule about sticking around to help with the kids doesn’t apply to a large number of professional athletes.
Last night, the GOP held another Presidential debate, this time sponsored by CNN and the Tea Party Express. The limited response time forced candidates to reel off talking points at breakneck speed. So much so that when Mitt Romney said Rick Perry was dealt four aces as governor of Texas, the listen them - no income tax, low regulations, right to work law, oil in the ground and a republican legislatiure - nobody even noticed that that was five “aces”. 
- Romney said later that he always keeps an extra ace up his sleeve.
- Hey, we’re talking about Texas here where everything is bigger! Even the decks of cards!
- If Perry loses, he can always just have Texas secede, form their own country and become President!
“SpongeBob Squarepants” might not be good for small children’s brains. A University of Virginia professor showed 20 randomly chosen 4-year-olds a 9 min. “SpongeBob” cartoon, while other kids drew or watched a slow-paced PBS cartoon. Immediately afterward, the “SpongeBob” viewers did much worse on mental tests, 
had shorter attention spans and went for snacks much sooner than the other kids. Apparently age 4 is when the brain starts to develop self-control, and if just 9 min. of “SpongeBob” makes such a difference, a full 22 minute episode could be even more detrimental to young kids’ brains.
- To say nothing of the parents who completely lose their minds after watching the same episodes two thousand times. Same goes for “Dora the Explorer”, “Bob the Builder”, “Pokemon: Diamond and Pearl”, et al…
On this day in 1963, Mary Kay Ash founded her cosmetics company with nine friends gathered around her kitchen table in Dallas.
- So basically a “Dynasty” was created in “Dallas”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
Fortunately, the 10th anniversary of 9/11 came and went peacefully - with no attacks as had been feared. The only bombs that exploded were the passes thrown by Michigan Quarterback Denard Robinson leading Michigan to a last second (actually two seconds!) thrilling 35-31 victory over Notre Dame, in one of the most exciting games in years. Go Blue! And hey… how ‘bout them Lions?!
Police in Montana charged 18-year-old David Sky Cantu with misdemeanor sexual assault and marijuana possession after he allegedly reached out and squeezed a female pedestrian’s breast as he rode past her on a bicycle. They were not swayed by his excuse: he told them he did it because he was “deperate and too much man.”
- If he was “too much man” maybe he should consult a plastic surgeon about a “reduction”!
- It was so much fun, he’s thinking of signing up for the next “Tour de France”.
- “Too much man”… also known as “The Arnold Schwarzenegger Defense”.
The Thai Spice restaurant in Adelaide, Australia, has been fined for turning away a blind customer because they thought his guide dog was gay. 
In 2009, a waiter misunderstood the man’s female companion, thinking she said he wanted to bring a “gay dog” into the eatery instead of a “guide dog”. The owner claims his staff honestly believed it was a regular mutt that had been “desexed to become a gay dog”. After two years, the restaurant has been ordered to pay the blind man $1400 (US) and write an apology letter.
- So Thai restaurants serve dog, they just won’t serve someone with one?
- They actually thought the dog was gay because when they said “shake” he gave them a really limp paw.
- The only eateries in the Far East where dogs are always welcome are in North Korea.
Doris Day’s “My Heart” debuted on the UK album charts as #9, making the 87-year-old music and film star the oldest person ever to score a top 10 album in Great Britain. The CD consists of unreleased tracks cut between 1951 and 1994 and personally chosen by Doris. It’s likely that is ranked so high because American fans had no choice but to buy it from Amazon.UK because no American record company would release it thinking it wouldn’t sell.
- This came as great news to Cher who has now extended her farewell tour for another 25 years.
- The record exec who made that decision obviously wasn’t “The Man Who Knew Too Much”.
- She dedicated her cover of “Like a Virgin” to the time she spent “dating” Rock Hudson.
The New York Post reports that 290-pound Martin Kessman of Nanuet, New York is suing White Castle because their booths aren’t big enough to accommodate his wide rear end. 
Kessman says that after he complained the booths were too uncomfortable, White Castle promised to change them and even showed him specs. But when two years passed with no changes, he sued under the Americans with Disabilites Act. He said, “I just want to sit down like a normal person.”
- He added that since they serve “sliders” he should be able to “slide” comfortably into the booth.
- He says he’d just use the drive-thru, but he enjoys the ambiance only the inside of a White Castle can provide.
- Kim Kardashian has filed a similar lawsuit against every restaurant in LA.
Cliff Robertson has died of natural causes one day after turning 88.
And Andy Whitfield, from the “Spartacus” series on Starz, passed away of non-Hodgkin lymphoma at the age of just 39.
On this day in 1966, “The Monkees” debuted on NBC, starring a four-member rock group picked from nearly 500 applicants in open auditions. Rejects included Paul Willaims and Steven Stills, but not, as falsely rumored, Charles Manson.
- Charles Manson, ofcourse, went on to form “The Manson Family Singers” and made a killing!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
On this, the 10 Anniversary of the horrific terrorist attacks on America, as we all relive that tragic day, I thought it appropriate to replay the address President Bush gave to Congress and the nation that evening. The next morning, we set his words to the stirring music from the movie “Glory”.
Let us never forget!
Hear it now…
President George W. Bush’s Address to the Nation - 9/11/2001
Welcome to Friday or Podcast Day as we like to call it here at DickPurtan.com! This week, Big Al, Jackie and I cover everything from a rather embarrassing “Butt Call” and Motorcycle Riding Rabbis (yep, our pal Maury stops by!) to politics and pork (well actually - it’s beef). As you can see from the pictures below, I visited a local eatery that is home to a 10 pound hamburger and a gazillion scoop ice cream sundae.
And with Sunday being the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, we remember that horrific morning and how we experienced it while we were on the air. Plus… I tell you about an important internet warning involving this anniversary and how to protect your computer and e-mails.
Purtan Podcast #8 (18:58)
“I’ll have fries with that… and a diet Coke”
Luckily… I saved room for dessert! (Photos by Jill Purtan)
Tonight, President Obama will give his highly anticipated jobs speech to Congress and the nation. But it’s not exactly getting “Prime Time” treatment. He has to start at 7pm and wrap it up in less than an hour before the the NFL season opener between the Packers and the Saints. 
One TV station in Milwaukee announced that they won’t air the speech because they have an hour of pre-game coverage scheduled.
- I’m still trying to deal with the fact that I’m going to to miss “Wheel of Fortune”! Then again, in today’s economy, who can afford to buy a vowel?
- In order to get more people to tune in, Charlie Sheen will join Obama on stage and they’re calling the speech, “Two And A Half Jobs!”
Wednesday night, GOP Presidential hopefuls held their big debate. The most heated exchange came when Mitt Romney touted his job creation record. Rick Perry shot back that Michael Dukakis had a better record than Mitt. Then Mitt fired back that Perry’s predecessor, George W. Bush, had a better record than Perry.
- George W. Bush reportedly yelled, “Hey Laura! Come in here! They’re talking about what a great job I did on the TV!”
The strangest audience reaction had to be when one of the two moderators began a question by noting that under Governor Perry, Texas had executed 234 people, and applause broke out.
- Those who applauded were all Democrats who realized that’s 234 people who won’t be voting for Perry in 2012!
- The twice-divorced Newt Gingrich immediately tried to get in on the whole “Texas Thing” by yelling, “Remember the Alamo-ny!”
First TLC’s “Toddlers and Tiaras” sparked controversey when a little girl did an impression of Dolly Parton in a pageant, complete with padded boobs and butt. But according to critics, last night’s episode hit a new low. A mom dressed her three-year-old-girl named Paisley as Julia Robert’s hooker character in “Pretty Woman,”
complete with blond wig, white crop top, a blue miniskirt and thigh-high boots. She strutted around stage in front of a backdrop of the Beverly Regent Wilshire Hotel where Richard Gere’s character paid $4000 for a week of Roberts’ “services”. 
- All the 3-year-old-boys in her pre-school class are begging their mom’s to set up a “Playdate” with Paisley.
- You should have seen the time her mom dressed her up as “Dora the Explorer”!
- Speaking of “Pretty Woman”, if Roy Orbison was alive, he would probably have taken off his tinted glasses just to make sure he was actually seeing what he was seeing.
- Most hookers wear thongs. Paisley wears Huggies.
A $1000 reward is being offered in San Diego for a man who tried to rob a 7-11 on Labor Day while dressed in a Gumby costume. But he fumbled trying to pull what he said was a gun out of his costume. He got flustered, dropped 26 cents on the floor and fled empty-handed. He also had an accomplice who police are still trying to identify. Apparently the clerk isn’t too up on his cartoon characters; he described the assailant to his boss as “a green Spongebob Squarepants”.
- If it had been Spongebob he would have pulled out a spatula. (Don’t ask me how I know this, but Spongebob is actually a Fry-Cook!)
- This guys not “Gumby”… he’s “Dumby”!
- He’s one of the first criminals in history to actually lose money during a robbery.
The Paranormal Reasearch Group in Connecticut plans to investigate a home in Stamford to see if it is haunted by the ghost of Ethel Mertz. The house used to belong to Lucille Ball’s longtime sidekick, Vivian Vance, who died there in 1979. The ghost hunters are using video cameras, laser grids and electromagnetic field detectors to investigate.
- The owner first became suspsicious when she saw a ghost working on a conveyer belt shoving imaginary chocolates into her mouth.
- If they find her, somebody’s gonna have some spainin’ to do!
- It would be so much easier to catch Desi Arnaz’s ghost… he’d just float in the front door and yell, “Lucy! I’m home!”
On this day in 1986, “The Oprah Winfrey Show” debuted.
- Hard to believe, but up until that day, no woman in America had experienced the “Big O”!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow with our latest Podcast!
-Dick