Ted's Sex-ellent Adventure!

Judicial Watch used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain long-suppressed FBI records on late Senator Ted Kennedy and what they found was pretty interesting.  Among the previously blacked-out sections were accusations that in 1961, while on official business for JFK, Ted rented out an entire brothel in Chile for the night and invited his chauffeur to join him for the festivities. 

- Which led to the famous quote… “Ask not what your chauffeur can do for a Chilean hooker, but what a Chilean hooker can do for your chauffeur!”

- Hey… at least he was smart enough to give the car keys to someone else! 

- So while JFK and Bobby were both dating Marilyn Monroe, Teddy got stuck with some cheap hookers in Chile.  This is what happens to younger brothers! 

Can I Get A Reuben With That Rumba?

Last night, ABC announced the cast for the next series of “Dancing With The Stars” and here’s the line-up: boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, “Karate Kid” Ralph Macchio, rapper Romeo, radio/TV hosts Wendy Williams and Mike Catherwood, model Petra Nemacova, actress Chelsea Kane, ex-WWE wrestler Chris Jericho, former Hugh Hefner girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson, Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward and Kirstie Alley. 

- So they’ve got two wide receivers!

- Producers are a little afraid that Hines Ward might “spike” his partner on the dance floor everytime one of the judges gives him 6 points.  

- I hope Kirstie Alley isn’t a diva… if she starts throwing her weight around, somebody’s gonna get hurt! 

- Kirstie may get plenty of “Cheers” from the audience, but I wouldn’t want to be the guy who has to lift her over my head! 

- The rest of Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriends will make up the entire ballroom audience! 

Each Book Comes With A Prescription For Penicillin!

Britain’s Daily Mirror claims that Lindsay Lophan hopes to make a comeback by posing for a book of nude sex photos with James Franco. Sources say it would be “provocative but tasteful” and be a “real statement book”. 

- And that statement would be… “I’m a tramp!”

- I just hope it’s out in time for Christmas!  It would make a great fish-net stocking stuffer!  

Your Heating and Cooling Experts!

U.S government computer models predict that even a small regional nuclear war could reverse global warming and spark unprecedented global cooling. 

- It’s the feel good story of the week! 

- Which explains Al Gore’s new line of  “Nuke ‘em if you got ‘em” T-Shirts!”  

RIP

Actress Jane Russell has died at 89.  Famous for her, uh, upper torso, an actual movie tag line for one of her films read:  “Jane Russell in ‘The Outlaw’ in 3-D will knock BOTH your eyes out!”

- I watched the movie with one eye shut just so I wouldn’t go entirely blind. 

Have a great day and I’ll see you right back here tomorrow! 

-Dick

Every King Needs A Night...

“The Kings Speech” was the big winner at the Oscars last night, taking home the prize for Best Picture, Actor, Director, and Original Screenplay.  But producers efforts to appeal to a younger audience by having James Franco and Anne Hathaway serve as hosts seemed to backfire… with many critics calling the it “the most boring Oscarcast in history”… 

- I missed a lot of the show because I was busy “Googling” trying to find out who James Franco is. 

- It’s kind of sad when the host of the show looks more bored than the audience.  

The most exciting moment of the evening came early when Best Supporting Actress winner Melissa Leo dropped the F-Bomb during her acceptance speech. 

- I was actually hoping Kanye West would show up and grab the mike from her.     

She received her award from 94 year old Kirk Douglas who proceeded to blatantly hit on her.  

- This is why Michael Douglas never invites his dad over for dinner with him and Catherine Zeta Jones! 

NOTE:  I think the writer, 73-year-old David Seidler, who won the Oscar for Best Original screenplay for “The King’s Speech” had the best line of the night when he said, “My Father always said I’d be a late bloomer”.  

Where Do You Draw The Line?

A new survey asked Americans which movie line best described their philosophy of life, and the #1 answer, with 26% of the vote was Forest Gump’s “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’ll get.” It was followed by “There’s no place like home” from “The Wizard of Oz”, and “Carpe diem” (seize the day) from “Dead Poets Society”.  Others in the top ten included, “Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’, “May the Force be with you,” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”  Researchers said that in such a materialistic society, they were surprised that “Show me the money!” didn’t rank higher, but it only came in 10th.  

- If “The horror, the horror” from Apocalypse Now starring Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, and Martin Sheen had starred Charlie Sheen instead of Martin, the word “horror” would have been spelled differently!

- My favorite was delivered in “Midnight Run” when Robert Di Nero told the incessantly talkative Charlies Grodin, “I’ve got two words for you:  Shut the F—- Up!”

I'll Give A Drug Test... And Urine-Vited!

The Charlie Sheen Saga is getting weirder by the moment… He’s not only suing CBS for $320 Million for cancelling his show “Two and a Half Men”, he allowed a Radar Online reporter to watch as he gave a urine sample for a drug test.  Amazingly, the results of the urine and a more in-depth blood test released live on ABC this morning, were negative.  That means he’s been clean and sober 72 hours.  Charlie did say he’s high on one drug and it’s called “Charlie Sheen”.  

- Wow! A whopping 72 hours!  And I thought it would only last 2 And a Half Minutes!

- That just beats Lindsay Lohan’s latest record by 17.3 seconds!  

Charlie Does It By The Book...

Charlie told TMZ.com that he’s writing a tell-all book about his life on the set of “Two and A Half Men”, to be called “When the Laughter Stopped”.  He’s hoping to spark a bidding war among publishers and get an an advance of at least $10 million dollars. 

- Which he will use to buy a really nice briefcase full of cocaine. 

- I’m sure his fans are dying to “crack” open the pages. 

- “When the Laughter Stopped”? I thought that title was already taken by Hugh Hefner’s 24-year-old fiance for her upcoming book about their wedding night.   

- Since he’s decided to include a chapter on his “porn family” it’s going to be a pop-up book. 

- Alternate names for the book?  “Meth.  It’s What’s For Dinner” and “Peter Pan Meets Captain Hooker!”

If Only It Had Been "The War To End All Wars"...

RIP Frank Buckles, the last living American World War I vet who died over the weekend at the age of 110.

Only 16 and a half at the time, Buckles lied and said he was 18 so he could serve his country. 

You Came Through Again!

Thanks to everyone who donated to the Salvation Army Radiothon last Friday.  Through your efforts, the event hosted by WJR personalities Paul W. Smith, Frank Beckman, and Mitch Albom raised over $1.5 million dollars to help feed and shelter thousands of men women and children in our community through the Bed and Bread Program.  

Again, thanks for supporting a cause so near and dear to my heart! 

Have a great day and we’ll see you right back here tomorrow!

-Dick

It's Radiothon Day!

It’s finally here… As I write this the 24th Annual Salvation Army 16 Hour Radiothon benefiting the Bed and Bread Club is underway live at the Oakland Mall in Troy.  

This is the only fundraiser for this amazing program that feeds 5000 men, women, and children every day - 365 days a year - and shelters nearly 600 people a night. 

As always, the event is being held at the Oakland Mall in Troy but this year is being heard on 760 AM- WJR and hosted by their personalities.  

$120 feeds one person for an entire year; $240 feeds two people for an entire year.  You can choose any payment plan - including $10 or $20 a month.  If you donate $240 - you’ll receive a commemorative soup bowl as a reminder of your generosity. But whatever you can afford to give is welcome and appreciated!

Through the years, this Radiothon has become the single biggest one-day Radiothon in the country raising more money in just 16 hours than any other event of it’s kind.  And although I’m not hosting the event this year (having retired last March!) I continue to work, plan, and support it in a behind-the-scenes capacity through my new role on the Salvation Army Advisory board. 

It’s amazing really when I think back to how it all started…

The year was 1988 and I wanted to do something to celebrate my show’s five year anniversary at 95.5 FM - then WCZY. And I knew I wanted it to involve a charity.  

I called everyone from the morning show into the conference room and asked them to name their favorite charity.  From Doc Andrews to Gene Taylor to Colleen Burcar to me - the answer was all the same:  The Salvation Army. 

So I asked Gene, as producer of the show, to call the Army and see if we could work something out.  We ended up holding the first Radiothon right there in our studio for the newly formed “Bed and Bread Club”.  It was only four hours long and we raised $15,000!

We were thrilled…  and so was the Army! So the next year, we expanded the Radiothon to 16 hours.

We continued to hold it at the radio station each year until I moved to WOMC when we realized that by holding the event at a public venue (we chose the Oakland Mall because of it’s central location in 1997) we’d be able to raise more money. 

And, thanks to you, we did!  A total of almost $24 million dollars over the last 23 years - more than $2.3 million last year alone!

It astounds me to think of all the people who have been fed and sheltered - and whose lives have been changed over the years - because of your generosity.  And it all started with a simple conversation with the morning show in the station conference room.  

Through the years Gene Taylor and Doc Andrews who were present in that first meeting have passed on, but we continued each year with a great, hard working, dedicated morning show staff of Big Al, Jackie, Rebekah, Dana, Ankles and other contributors and friends of show. It was a real team effort - and the passion each person brought to the event was real and genuine.  It wasn’t just about the broadcast, everyone - to a person - rode the Bed and Bread truck and experienced first hand the importance of the work being done.   

So here we are, 24 years later.  And while the radio station hosting the event has changed - the need has not.  

There are thousands of people in our community who count on this program - funded exclusively by your donations - to survive.  For many it is the difference between eating or going hungry;  Sleeping in a freezing cold abandoned building or in a warm Salvation Army Shelter.  In reality, for so many men, women and children, it’s the difference between life and death.    

I thank you so much for your support and contributions over the years and hope that - like me - today you’ll be donating by calling 248-528-0760 or going to www.wjr.com!

Have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday!

-Dick 

"Change He Doesn't Know If He Believes In!"

President Obama sparked outrage among some people Wednesday when the White House announced that he’s decided the Defense of Marriage Act’s definition of marriage as being only between one man and one woman is unconstitutional…

He went so far as to order the justice department to stop enforcing it.  The Supreme Court has yet to weigh in, and legal experts say no matter what he thinks of gay marriage, Presidents don’t have the power to declare laws unconstitutional.  As for his personal views… Obama is “still grapling” with what to think about gay marriage.  

- I hope he is “grappling” with things like the deficit, jobs, and the Middle East, too. 

- So he finally came out of the closet to announce he’s not sure how he feels about gay marriage. 

 

- In honor of his announcement, Ellen danced “The Barack-orena” at the beginning of today’s show. 

- This just shows the effects of lobbyists:  He made the announcement right after getting two free tickets to see Ricky Martin in concert.  

- So personally he’s confused about “gay marriage” but thinks banning it is unconstitutional?  It’s a case of the old “Do as I say… not as I may or may not think”.  

Dancing Witch The Stars?

Tea Party favorite Christine O’Donnell, whose Delaware Senate campaign was derailed by claims that she “dabbled in witchcraft” in high school, is asking Facebook fans to vote on whether she should accept an invitation to appear on “Dancing With The Stars”.”  She says she’s flattered but may decline because her 2-year-old nephew has more rhythm than she does. 

- This story leaves me Bewtiched, Bothered and Bewildered! 

- Why doesn’t she just cast a spell on herself and make herself a good dancer? 

- She wouldn’t be the first witch to appear on DWTS… remember Kate Gosselin?  

- If O’Donnell does appear, she’ll probably dance around a bubbling cauldron in the middle of the ballroom.  

Excuse Abuse!

CareerBuilder.com surveryed nearly 2500 U.S. managers to find the weirdest excuses exployees have given for being late to work.  They include:  “My car was infested with bees”; “My karma was out of synch”; I was attacked by my cat”; “I’m on time, but the company clock is wrong”; “There was a problem with the public transportation.” That excuse came with a note to verify it, signed, “The Bus Driver”.  And finally… “My botox appointment ran late”. 

- Needless to say the woman who used the botox excuse did it with a straight face.  

- Thank God Joan Rivers doesn’t have a real job… she’d never even make it in.  

- The clock excuse might have worked if only the guy hadn’t worked at Timex.

- To his credit, his boss said he took a licking but kept on ticking!

- After signing the note, the bus driver added, “The Wheels on the Bus Didn’t Go Round and Round!”

A Rash Decision...

Tuesday, during oral arguments, a Supreme Court majority appeared to agree that a woman was given too long a prison sentence for trying to poison her best friend after her husband got the woman pregnant. Because she was a microbiologist and used a poison banned by chemical weapons treaties, she was charged with a federal crime, like a terrorist.  She claims the Feds overreacted and that she only wanted to cause the woman an uncomfortable rash.  

- Her husband already has an uncomfortable rash he caught from his wife’s best friend! 

- Her lawyer calls it “The Desitin Defense”. 

- She only wanted to give the woman a rash… she wanted to KILL her husband! 

Disney Princess Will Go To "Small World After All"!

Linsday Lohan may be headed to the slammer for real this time.  She was back in court Wednesday to hear a plea bargain offer, but the judge warned that no matter what she does, she WILL go back to jail.  She wants community service, but prosecutors are asking for 6 months in the slammer (minus time for good behavior) plus three years probation for jewelry theft.  Lindsay has until March 10th to make up her mind. If she turns the deal down and goes to trial, she faces up to 3 years behind bars. 

- She’s spent a lot more than three years in front of bars so she’ll have no problem getting acclimated.

- She is gonna have the coolest shiv in the yard… made out of that designer necklace.

- Lindsay’s idea of “Community Service” is giving her Coke dealer an extra big tip!

- If she’s allowed to wear that tight white dress she wore to court, she’s the hands down favorite to be voted “Queen of the Prison Prom”! 

Go Figure, The Kids Like Pepsi & He's Only Got Coke...

Radaris online is reporting that Charlie Sheen’s Ex-wife, Brooke Mueller has moved back into Charlie’s estate with their two kids in tow.  Sheen had offered to buy all of his ex-wives a house in the neighborhood so his kids by the different women could get to know each other, but Mueller has allegedly more than taken him up on it by moving back into his house. They separated after he allegedly held a knife to her throat back in 2009.

- Call me a hopeless romantic, but if these two crazy kids can’t make it, who can?

- And of coure they’ll have a whole bunch of porn-stars living just down the street in case they need a baby-sitter in a pinch!  

Today's Almanac

On this day in 1868, President Andrew Johnson was impeached by the House of Representatives for trying to fire his secretary of war. 

- He looked right at his portrait painter, pointed his finger and said, “I did not have sex with that man, Mr. Edward M. Stanton”.  

Radiothon TOMORROW!

The 24th Annual 16-Hour Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club Radiothon is tomorrow, Friday, February 25th. It will be broadcast live from the Oakland Mall from 6am to 10pm - this year on WJR-AM 760.  

This is the first time in 24 years that I won’t be hosting the event because of my retirement from radio back in March, (this year the microphones will be manned by the WJR personalities), but I have been actively involved in the planning as a member of the Salvation Army Advisory Board. And, as always, will continue with my annual financial contribution!

This is the ONLY fundraiser the Salvation Army has to feed and shelter 5,000 men, women, and children in our area, 365 days a year.

A donation of $120 feeds one person for an entire year; $240 feeds two people for an entire year, but whatever you can afford is welcome and appreciated!  And remember - no administrative costs are taken from your donation.  

As you know, this cause is near and dear to my heart and your donations over the years have been remarkable to say the least.  Last year we raised a total of $2.3 million dollars… and while we never set a goal, we always hope for at least a penny more!  I hope that you will continue to support this most important program!

You can call now at 248-528-0760 or go to www.wjr.com!

Have a great day… and I’ll see you right back here tomorrow - Radiothon Day!

-Dick