Bernie Sanders managed to edge out Pete Buttigieg to win the New Hampshire primary Tuesday.

- When they heard the news, Bernie’s supporters really lit up Socialist Media.

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Former frontrunner Joe Biden followed up his loss in Iowa with a 5th place finish in New Hampshire but said this “Isn’t the Closing Bell… It’s the Opening Bell”.

- The way Joe’s been talking, I’m surprised he didn’t say it’s Howdy Doody’s “Clara Bell”.

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A standard poodle named “Siba” beat out more than 200 dogs to win "Best in Show" at the 2020 Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden last night.

- I don’t mean to be judgmental, but I’ve seen the pictures and that Poodle is a real Schnauzer.

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A St. Louis cop who was told to “tone down his gayness” won a discrimination suit against the county and was awarded $10 MILLION.

- That’s enough money to redecorate every squad car in the department!

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After months of speculation, Pope Francis announced that he WILL NOT allow married men to be ordained as Priests.

- In making his decision, the Pope cited “Hundreds of years of Tradition” and the fact that married guys are usually busy on Sunday mornings mowing the lawn and going to Costo with their wives.

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Janet Jackson has announced tour dates for her new album, “Black Diamond.”

- Janet’s 53 now so any “Wardrobe Malfunction” she has is gonna involve “Spanx”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

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