The mysterious death/suicide(?) of accused young-girl-molester Jeffrey Epstein over the weekend has both Repubs and Dems saying that he was actually murdered.

- Well it’s nice to see they can finally agree on SOMETHING.


It’s being reported that Barry Manilow doesn’t enjoy performing on stage because it makes him extremely nervous.

- This from a woman named Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there.


The President of Brazil says that we can solve many of the World’s environmental problems by Pooping less. His suggestion: Only go once every other day.

- Well there goes his endorsement from “Fiber One”. (That reminds me of a line by my late friend, comedian Dennis Wolfberg, who said “You can’t eat Fiber One and hold a job”)

- He’s running for a second term with the slogan “Make Constipation Great Again”.


Russian officials are denying that the country suffered a nuclear accident after leaked footage surfaced of workers in hazmat suits cleaning up one of their reactors.

- True or not, Putin gave the clean-up effort Glowing reviews.


Alec Baldwin tweeted “The Russians killed Epstein. They’re in charge of EVERYTHING now”.

- So look for Alec to beat up Vladimir Putin when he thinks someone stole his parking space again.


Universal has decided they will NOT release their controversial movie “The Hunt” next month - because it’s the “wrong time” for the movie which features rich Liberals hunting down and killing “deplorable” Trump supporters.

- When exactly would be the “Right time” for this movie??


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!