After two more Republican Senators bailed on the Bill last night, the Republican replacement for Obamacare seems dead in the water. 

- Which is unfortunate, because "Dead in the Water" is NOT one of the conditions covered by Obamacare. 

*****

OJ Simpson is just two days away from a parole board hearing that could have him sprung from the slammer as early as October 1st. 

- The parole board better say "yes"...or heads are gonna roll. 

*****

On this day in 1925 the AAA declared that women drivers are every bit as competent drivers as men are. 

- Or Incompetent as men are. 

*****

Some very "peculiar signals" have been noticed coming from a star just 11 light years away according to astronomers. 

- Wait... wasn't Lady Gaga going on an Intergalactic Tour this summer? 

*****

A new survey shows the half all Americans have buyer's remorse about their house. 

- And 50% of Americans have buyer's remorse about who's living in the White House. 

*****

American Airlines is flat out denying reports that one it's flights was evacuated last week due to a passenger "breaking wind" and said the source of the unpleasantness was a mechanical glitch. 

- You know the old expression, "Beans, Beans the musical fruit... the more you eat, the more you're likely to have a mechanical glitch."

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick