For the first time ever, Hollywood heavy hitters Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks will appear in a film together.
- No word yet on which accent Meryl will use.
- The movie is tentatively being called "Sleepless In Madison County".
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The latest issue of the ISIS months magazine offers up relationship advice warning women not to talk badly about their husbands or "co-wives" in public because Allah doesn't like it.
- Look for next months cover story: "Spice Up Your Sex Life With A Sexy To-Die-For Suicide Vest!"
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Meanwhile military sources says ISIS has created a children's book that explains terrorism and recruits kids to the cause.
- It's called "Curious George Joins the Jihad!".
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Despite having her fashion line dropped by major retailers like Nordstrom, Ivanka Trump has seen a dramatic spike in sales of her clothes and shoes.
- In a related story, sales of "The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit Collection" are on the decline.
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Courtney Love put up a Facebook post claiming that Marlon Brando is her Grandfather! Why? Because he was living in the same building as her Grandmother when her mother was conceived.
- That sound you hear is Ancestry.com blowing up.
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Former President Obama has reportedly told friends that his relationship with Donald Trump is "unraveling".
- Who among us hasn't lost a friend when we found out they were tapping our phone???
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Scientist have announced that it's possible for Potatoes to grow on Mars.
- Tom Cruise was like, "Duh... What do you think I eat when I visit my Scientology Time-Share Vacation Home there???".
- Apparently they just came across some old photos sent back by Spud-nik.
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Spend time tidying up clutter before guests arrive? Don't. A new study shows a messy house can make visitors feel better about their own less-than-perfect homes.
- Unless, of course that "guest" is your mother-in-law, in which case you are screwed no matter what.
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Breaking news... J-Lo is dating A-Rod.
- The big question now is what do we call them? J-Rod? A-Lo?
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick