For the first time ever, Hollywood heavy hitters Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks will appear in a film together.

- No word yet on which accent Meryl will use. 

- The movie is tentatively being called "Sleepless In Madison County". 

*****

The latest issue of the ISIS months magazine offers up relationship advice warning women not to talk badly about their husbands or "co-wives" in public because Allah doesn't like it. 

- Look for next months cover story: "Spice Up Your Sex Life With A Sexy To-Die-For Suicide Vest!"

*****

Meanwhile military sources says ISIS has created a children's book that explains terrorism and recruits kids to the cause. 

- It's called "Curious George Joins the Jihad!".

*****

Despite having her fashion line dropped by major retailers like Nordstrom, Ivanka Trump has seen a dramatic spike in sales of her clothes and shoes. 

- In a related story, sales of "The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit Collection" are on the decline. 

*****

Courtney Love put up a Facebook post claiming that Marlon Brando is her Grandfather! Why?  Because he was living in the same building as her Grandmother when her mother was conceived. 

- That sound you hear is Ancestry.com blowing up. 

*****

Former President Obama has reportedly told friends that his relationship with Donald Trump is "unraveling". 

- Who among us hasn't lost a friend when we found out they were tapping our phone???

*****

Scientist have announced that it's possible for Potatoes to grow on Mars. 

- Tom Cruise was like, "Duh... What do you think I eat when I visit my Scientology Time-Share Vacation Home there???".

- Apparently they just came across some old photos sent back by Spud-nik. 

*****

Spend time tidying up clutter before guests arrive? Don't. A new study shows a messy house can make visitors feel better about their own less-than-perfect homes. 

- Unless, of course that "guest" is your mother-in-law, in which case you are screwed no matter what. 

*****

Breaking news... J-Lo is dating A-Rod. 

- The big question now is what do we call them? J-Rod? A-Lo? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick