First Daughter Ivanka Trump is so popular in China that thousands of Chinese women are getting plastic surgery so they can look like her. 

- It's expensive, but luckily the womens' 5-yer-old kids bring in a pretty good salary from their factory jobs making Ivanka's dresses. 

*****

On this day in 1781, Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus. 

- Scientists recently discovered two giant moons circling the planet which they've named "Kim" and "Kardashian". 

*****

The Secret Service nabbed an intruded who was trying to sneak into the White House on Saturday morning. 

- Lucky for Hillary, they let her off with a warning. 

*****

Forecasters are asking people on the East Coast to stay home tomorrow in anticipation of an expected blizzard. 

- Democrats are accusing President Trump of colluding with Mother Nature to keep protesters at home. 

*****

Meanwhile Trump is taking heat from Democrats and the media for firing 46 Federal Prosecutors appointed by President Obama, but they're failing to mention that Bill Clinton fired 96 prosecutors when he took office. 

- With Bill's track record with women, you want to get rid of all the prosecutors you can. 

*****

Magician Chris Angel fainted while trying to escape a straight jacket, forcing producers to cancel his Las Vegas show 10 minutes after it started. 

- Producers said Chris "couldn't move a muscle" which is exactly what audience members in the theater next store said about Cher's face, but her concert went on without a hitch. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick