Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton are moving back from their current residence back to the city of London so they can help the Queen with her duties. 

- Apparently you can't just learn the proper "Waving Technique" overnight. 

*****

As promised, yesterday President Trump formally abandoned the 12-nation Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) - former Prez. Obama's signature deal. 

- Sources say angry Dems will protest by sneaking over the fence and TPP-ing the trees around the White House with Charmin. 

*****

A new dating site, launched on Inauguration Day is designed to help match up Trump supporters who are looking for love. 

- It's called "Let Me Call You Tweet Heart Dot Com".

*****

The Obamas are vacationing on Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean.

- It's the first time in 8 years that the former President has gone on vacation without the Nuclear Golfball... um... that's the Nuclear Football. 

- He deserve's to relax... this is his first vacation since he got back from Hawaii New Year's Day. 

*****

A British dermatologist recommends adding a tablespoon of sugar to your shampoo to exfoliate your scalp and make your hair healthier. 

- I'm going to add calorie-free Equal to mine so I don't end up with too much Volume. 

*****

A Kansas City man has admitted that he robbed a bank, then waited in the lobby for Police to arrest him because "He'd rather be in jail then be with his wife". 

- Apparently he didn't realize that he's gonna end up with a new, much more demanding wife in the slammer. 

*****

Rod Stewart and Cyndi Lauper announced a joint Summer Music Tour across America this summer. 

- At 72 and 63 years old respectively... Cyndi maybe the only woman around who thinks Rod's sexy... and wants his body.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick