So as not to offend anyone, U of M students can now choose the pronoun they wish to be referred to, including "He", "She" and "Ze" or "Hir" for students who aren't sure which gender they are. 

- And instead of "Go Blue"... Alumni are now asked to say "Go Roy G Biv" so All Colors of the rainbow feel included. 

- This is going to make rushing Fraternities and Sororities a lot more complicated.

- I wouldn't want to the TV announcer who has to describe who just scored the touchdown. 

*****

Facebook users are being warned not to believe a scam post claiming that Brad Pitt is dead. 

- It was posted by an A. Jolie. 

- Friends are urging Angelina to ADOPT a nicer attitude towards Brad. 

*****

Hillary and Donald are both claiming that they won Monday night's debate. 

- Look for the same thing to happen the day after the election. 

*****

Meanwhile The Donald says the reason it seemed like he was sniffing so much at the debate was because someone monkeyed with his microphone. 

- When I hear "Monkeying with his microphone"... Bill Clinton always comes to mind. 

*****

A British study found that wearing polyester pants can lower a person's sex drive. 

- The study also found that if you wear polyester pants, you gave up on sex a long time ago.

*****

Switzerland has banned Muslim women from wearing Burkas in public. 

- Yet it still perfectly legal for Men to wear Speedos. Where is the justice???

*****

Scientists have revealed that people who suffer from acne as teens will look much younger later in life and will actually live longer than their smooth skinned classmates.

- I hope Joan Lyke reads this and regrets turning me down for the Freshmen Homecoming Dance. 

- So I should have saved all of the money I spent on Clearasil. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick