In their heated debate last night, Donald Trump said he'll release his tax returns when Hillary Clinton releases her 33,000 missing emails. 

- So all we have to do is wait for Hell to freeze over. 

*****

Debate Moderator, NBC News Anchor Lester Holt is being criticized for Not asking Hillary Clinton tough questions. 

- Like Benghazi, The Clinton Foundation, and Her Plan to get Brad and Angelina back together again. 

*****

The Donald has been criticized for rambling all over the place with his comments. 

- They should have brought in a  band to play "Ramblin Gamblin Man".

- I thought for sure Kanye West was gonna jump on stage and proclaim that "Hillary is the greatest Presidential Debater of all time!" 

*****

Despite fears that Hillary's pneumonia would cause her to have a coughing fit, Donald was the one who kept sniffling. 

- It was like watching "Sniffles the Clown" vs. "Little Red Email-Hood".

**** 

A study by Michigan State University found that riding a high-intensity roller coaster can help people pass kidney stones. 

- And if the roller coaster comes to a stop when you're upside down, they found people passed a lot more than that. 

*****

A man shot a barista a a Las Vegas Starbucks after his credit card was declined. 

- Luckily no one was injured since it was a Shot of Espresso. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick