A 25 year old British woman has entered the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest female beard in the world.
- She was going to go out and celebrate with her boyfriend... but then realized she doesn't have one anymore because her beard was longer than his.
- That sketch looks like Caitlyn Jenner at 5 in the afternoon.
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Donald Trump says he needs to lose 15 or 20 pounds.
- His next tweet should read "Trump With The Rump".
- Apparently the Donald has been making his waist "Great Again".
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CBS is underfire for editing Bill Clinton's comments about Hillary's health...taking out the word "frequently" and leaving in "rarely" when he talked about her fainting spells over the years.
- If I didn't know better... I'd think the media was Biased.
- Apparently CBS stands for the "Clinton Broadcasting System".
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The White House has confirmed that two more prisoners released from Gitmo by President Obama have re-joined terrorist groups. So far, over 100 men released from the prison have returned to jihadist groups.
- This is great.... we'll let anybody IN the country, but we make sure we send Islamic Terroists back to their friends and family.
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A New York photography studio has begun offering professional "penis" photoshoots that include dressing "Mr. Happy" in costumes and tiny hats.
- It's good to see Anthony Weiner putting his photography skills to good use.
- For Trump fans, they even have an itty bitty "Make America Great Again" baseball cap.
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The Detroit Lions are teaming up with Uber to offer fans rides to and from their games at Ford Field.
- In keeping with many of the Lions passes, the Uber cars will drive out of bounds.
- So now you'll make it home safely, but the Lions still won't make it to the Super Bowl.
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The Outback Steakhouse released a statement reminding customers that they do not allow firearms in the restaurants.
- Apparently they want diners to leave their guns Outback.
- So you can ride shotgun in the car on the way to dinner... you just can't take it in.
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A Fertility Doctor in Indianapolis has been accused of using his own sperm to inseminate at least 50 of his patients.
- He's going to have to clear out an entire cupboard to fit all of the "World's Worst Dad" coffee mugs he'll be getting next Father's Day.
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A woman in Florida, upset with her order at a Wendy's drive-thru, went into the restaurant, trashed the counter and threw pink lemonade in the manager's face.
- Wow... I had no idea Wendy's had pink lemonade.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick