"The Donald" and Hillary both scored big wins on Super Tuesday, making it look even more likely that the two will face off in the general election. 

- They aren't as different as you think, for example they each won 7 states, and at almost 70 years old they both use "Miss Clairol Stocks & Blonds #17". 

***** 

This morning, Marco Rubio said "The voters sent a strong message on Tuesday". 

- A few minutes later he added, "The voters sent a strong message on Tuesday". 

*****

The Rolling Stones announced that they will give an-open air concert in Cuba later this month. 

- They picked an outdoor venue so all of the people floating to America in their '57 Chevys can hear the music for free. 

*****

Scientists at a University in England have identified the first gene linked to graying hair in human beings.

- But men, if your wife asks you "Does this gene make my hair look gray?"...the correct answer is still "No!". 

*****

A new study of "Female Viagra" claims the pill may only result in six additional "sexual events" a year. 

- And if you refer to sex as an "event"...you definitely need to take that pill.

- So basically The Moment's Only Going To Be Right every two months. 

*****

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly lost custody of his kids in a unanimous court decision. 

- He's got a new book coming out called "Killing My Lawyer". 

*****

Miss Colombia, the woman who was accidentally named "Miss Universe" by Steve Harvey has landed a part in a Vin Diesel movie.

- No wait...I'm sorry...that's Miss Philippines. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick