The NBA banned the LA Clippers' owner Donald Sterling for life as a result of the racist comments he made that were caught on tape. 

- This will free him up to watch the games in his family room and rest on his laurels as well as his hands on his stomach. 

*****

Michele Obama's two day hotel stay in China cost taxpayers $222,000. 

- That breaks down to $111,000 from Column A and $111,000 from Column B. 

- I had no idea the prices were so high at the Beijing Best Eastern. 

*****

Today, April 30, is National Honesty Day. 

- If you want to see how dishonest people are the rest of the year, just check out the profiles on Match.com. 

*****

Despite rumors of an impending engagement, Prince Harry and his girlfriend Cressida Bonas have broken up after two years of dating. 

- Apparently Cressida got tired of dressing up like Eva Braun every time Harry put on his Hitler uniform.  

- She's asked for privacy, and he's asked for the Charlie Sheen Suite at his favorite hotel in Vegas. 

*****

North Korea's Kim Jong Un told his military leaders that his goal is to beat the U.S. on the battlefield. 

- He also set a goal of becoming six feet tall but that's not gonna happen either. 

- For the time being, he'll just stick with his battle plan of executing all of his relatives. 

*****

Craig Ferguson announced that he's leaving his CBS late night talk show when his contract expires in December. 

- Is it just me or do late night shows change hosts more often than Bruce Jenner changes his face.?  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday. 

-Dick