Two big Celebs are celebrating birthdays today. Our own Aretha Franklin is 72 and Elton John turns 67.
- So hats off to Aretha! Seriously...Aretha...take off the hat!!!
- Aretha no longer wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T, she want L-I-P-I-T-O-R.
- At his age, Elton can only become the "Rocket Man" if he takes Viagra.
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After two weeks of searching, Malaysia's Prime Minister says the missing plane plunged into the Indian Ocean.
- He has no evidence...he's just tired of watching coverage of the search on Malaysia's 24-Hour News Channel, MNN.
- Although Amelia Earhart's plane disappeared over the Pacific, he swears her plane plunged into the Indian Ocean as well.
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Former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner announced that he's writing a monthly column for Business Insider.
- You'll find it in the "Pop-Up" section of the newspaper.
- Each "column" will be exactly 140 characters long and will include a "very special photo" of Anthony!
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Disney will mark the 50th Anniversary of "It's a Small World" by sponsoring a world wide sing-a-long on April 10th.
- "It's a Small World" unless you're a member of the search team on the Indian Ocean.
- Meanwhile Vladimir Putin has released a Russian remake of the song called, "It's My World After All".
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Former President Jimmy Carter, who admitted he believes the NSA is spying on him, says he uses the regular U.S. Mail to keep the government from knowing his business.
- It also keeps the person the letter's addressed to from knowing his business since chances are good the mailman will lose the letters.
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- A male teacher in California returned from Spring Break as a female undergoing transgender surgery.
- Look for him in the upcoming "Guys-Becoming-Girls Gone Wild!" video.
- For the kids' sake, I hope he's not the Sex-Ed teacher.
- Am I the only one hoping he/she doesn't post his/her "Vacation Photos" on Facebook?
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here on Wednesday!
-Dick